Saturday, January 17, 2009

Friday Flashback: I've Got Your AA Right Here


A few housekeeping details to start your day:

(1) I deleted all the blogs from the "follow blogs" function on my old DCup account and am in the process of going out and following you guys on your blogs as Lisa. So if you see that I've dropped, don't worry. I'm still reading you. I just didn't like having my picture up on your follow thing twice. One of me is enough!

(2) MathMan is sending me dispatches from the road and is trying to figure out how to use his phone's texting function with Blogger. In the meantime, Dusty has been kind enough to go out and find the links to the local news coverage of the band's huge send off last night. They had a rally and got on the road at about 10pm. They are still in route (it's 7:22 a.m. eastern) and are currently outside of Richmond, Virginia.

Those news links are Fox 5 Atlanta and WSB. Reporters from both news organizations are traveling with the band and will be updating their stories as the events unfold. Thanks, Dusty for grabbing those and putting them in MathMan's comments!

(3) I realized very late last night that I neglected to do a Friday Flashback. Leave it to me to attempt a feature and fail on week two. I blame the lack of alcohol and naked men. Anyway, when I was driving home yesterday, I heard this song and was reminded of the old days when I used to take my clothes off in public and get paid to do it.



And no, I wasn't a stripper. You'll have to figure it out.

P.S. No one has answered my ad yet on Craig's List. I can't figure out why....It reads:

Forty-three year old mother of three, occasionally referred to as a MILF (mostly by her husband on the one night per week he might get lucky) seeks someone to console her while her husband is away being part of history. Must be clean, have minty-fresh breath and be able to lift at least fifty pounds.

Duties include, but are not limited to, pussy care (I mean real felines), hauling the trash to the dump (not a euphemism for a fetish), listening to me proofread (no, that is not what I call an orgasm), light housekeeping, hogging the blankets, watching British murder mysteries with me at bedtime (nope, still not using euphemisms) and watching me lovingly as I sleep (I believe I've been clear about the euphemisms). Taking the children out for the day and shopping for and purchasing expensive gifts for me (at your own expense) is optional, but highly recommended (if you want to find out what I do when I am ready to use euphemisms.)

No weirdos, druggies or men seeking long-term situations. Assignment lasts until Wednesdy, quite possibly longer if my husband thinks it might be good to share the burden (see, that is a euphemism) of me. Negotiable.

Takers?

34 comments:

  1. What? No replies to that ad yet? Has craigslist gone all dead and dry?

    I mean really.

    Euphemistically really.

    You know that when I noticed I had lost a follower I felt a little faint - you know what ego problems I have.

    Then I realized I had just dropped a bra size, that's all.

    Euphemistically speaking that is.

    xoxoxo

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  2. Here's the problem with your ad. People who read personals don't know what the word "euphemism" means, so they're completely lost. Should have just said - "No sex, or at least none that I can see happening".

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  3. i'm starting the car now I'll be there in a few hours! (with pancakes)

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  4. I think this is indicative of small-town mentality more than anything else. Try that in a big city, and you'll be inundated.

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  5. The bracketed segments of the ad are wonderfully deliciously funny. I pissed me self in hysterics.
    You have a gift indeed!
    Kudos.

    David

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  6. I am down right freaking depressed about dropping a bra size lately Fran!!! It's the first place I lost weight..damn it!!! Now I need all new ones..or pad the ones I got?

    YOU lisa...so crack me the hell up..and when I reallly need it! Glad the linkies could be used, they are neat-o! I emailed them to everyone already like a weird ass grandma. ;p

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  7. Pido would've had me at
    "pancakes!" :)

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  8. Damn! I knew I should have kept up with Graigs List. Story of my life, a day late and a dollar short!! But I do make pancakes, altho with the cool weather this morning it was oatmeal with raisins.

    "I just didn't like having my picture up on your follow thing twice. One of me is enough!" Here I thought of it as being twice as nice.

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  9. You are high-larious. And I love the new "about me" paragraph.

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  10. I'm glad I stopped by.

    Love your writing kid.

    Dave

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  11. Takers?

    Sure, if Mathman is willing to put up with my sometimes-better-half. He will of course receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom for his efforts afterward.

    Is there any metal on that Guitar Hero game?

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  12. 1. I can't believe there have been no takers on that ad yet!!! H.I.Larious. If nothing else the ad is the most realistic that has run on Craigslist... ever.

    2. Adam Ant? On the radio? really???

    3. I can't wait to watch all the inaugural stuff and point and say "I know (of) one of the chaperones for that band!" Well, you know what I mean...

    Happy Saturday.

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  13. You are hilarsquared.

    For the record, I'd be your bitch.

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  14. I'll take it! Just for the chance to be in a warmer place for a few days.

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  15. You'll be fighting them off. I'm telling you.

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  16. I'd be there, but my gas tank is nearly empty and I haven't been paid in a week. Do you cover travel expenses?

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  17. Surely there are men out there with the fantasy of being a real husband?

    I saw you pop up as Lisa on my followers list! ;-)

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  18. I am so willing and GG even said I can come down. But you have to pay the airfare and I am just using you to get out of the cold for a bit.

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  19. I dunno: it seemed like a generous offer!

    As for your "career," were you an artist's model? (Any idea what happened to Adam Ant?)

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  20. I'm putting on my strap-on and manburns. I'll be right over! I'm bringing bacon, and I'm gonna fry it up in a pan.

    (Can you feel my sense of urgency?)

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  21. You stated, no weirdos....well, that about covers us all. Sorry, but I think you'll be going it alone. :(

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  22. You never know what I will tolerate. But I have already responded you the add using my alter ego.

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  23. Gawd, that was YOU with the craigslist ad!!!???

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  24. it's clear why you haven't gotten any responses. you misspelled wednesday, and they are unsure of the length of the assignment.

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  25. Who is Craig and does he help write shopping lists? I always forget something when I go to the store.

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  26. Great ad. I borrowed a man today to fix my pipes. Even took a picture of him under my kitchen sink.

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  27. Hey, if no one response by tonight pack up the car and head to DC. I'm sure my pups would love the Pussies for Peace.


    BAC

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  28. I'm absolutely floored - there were NO takers!! What is wrong with society today??? Mathman's alter-ego may still show up...one never knows.

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  29. Great new look and thanks for the kind remarks. Single parenthood for a spell huh ? Enjoy.

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  30. of course there are no takers: all of the duties but none of the fun!

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  31. oh and yeah, I got that meme done so no pissing around my place, ok?

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  32. Very cool about Mathman and the band. I saw the report Friday night on WSB. Have you quit Twitter? :/

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  33. OMG!
    You do not love Brit mur mysteries before you go to bed!
    Midsomer murders? Prime Suspect? Mrs. Marple? Rebus? Cracker?
    Stop it!

    R U a PBS head?

    UR more than my BFF
    ur me!

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And then you say....

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