tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post372330430571660087..comments2023-10-17T08:16:35.305-04:00Comments on That's Why: To Belisahgoldenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11158660223296807317noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-55451961192726350182009-01-28T20:40:00.000-05:002009-01-28T20:40:00.000-05:00Oh, Lisa. We had a suicide talk last night. Me: "Y...Oh, Lisa. We had a suicide talk last night. Me: "You're not thinking about suicide are you?" and then "You're not going to murder me are you?" Thankfully, no and no. Ed was decrying the, "What these unemployed people have to do is pound the pavement, network, and pull themselves up by their bootstraps" mentality that is often spouted by people who are NOT in the same situation and never will be. You are in your situation (and we in ours) because we have been fucked over by corporate America, aided and abetted by BushCo and Congress. It is NOT because of bad choices that you made.<BR/><BR/>So what is the answer? In my opinion, everyone needs to cultivate something that brings them real honest joy. For example, it is clear to me that making music has been the lifesaver for Ed over the last year. When all else is stripped away -- even the family you love so much -- what brings you joy?<BR/><BR/>And then there is community. It is clear you have community here in cyber space. I'm hoping you also have a community close to home. People who love you, love your kids, and are just there for you.<BR/><BR/>I am thinking of you, holding you in the Light (that's a Quakerism.) It will get better. Call me, IM me, contact me anytime you want to. Sometimes venting is all you can do. I had a good vent to a friend on Saturday, after which I felt good to go again for a little while.Suzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14333782408387579016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-12629905671867294362009-01-27T19:08:00.000-05:002009-01-27T19:08:00.000-05:00I started to read this post yesterday but was at w...I started to read this post yesterday but was at work and couldn't concentrate on it so waited until I was home tonight. I can understand the feeling of futility when it seems as if it's just one thing after another to deal with. But it's also January. And January is the worst month for me as well. (Anytime I ever got fed up and decided to look for another job in my long career at the Big (and constantly morphing) Corporation, it was always in a January.<BR/><BR/>Things will get better. And you will feel hopeful again. Things are tough right now but you and Mathman have each other and will get through it. Your kids are great kids and you are raising them well. Money is only money. It's really important when you don't have it but when it comes down to it, it isn't the most important thing in the world. You have done what you need to do to move forward. The Chapter 13 thing is the way to deal with it. Not fun, but it will let you move forward. You'll move on and things will improve, I promise.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-73532041655687304122009-01-27T17:48:00.000-05:002009-01-27T17:48:00.000-05:00my reaction was one of horror and the first thing ...<I>my reaction was one of horror and the first thing that crossed my mind was "how could she do something so cruel to her children?" That tells me everything I need to know about whether or not I could actually perform that final, selfish act. I could not.</I><BR/><BR/><B>THIS.</B><BR/><BR/>The very act of coming to that realization brought neither solace or satisfaction, but rather a further deepening of the feelings of futility.<BR/><BR/>One.<BR/>Day.<BR/>At.<BR/>A.<BR/>Time.<BR/><BR/>Take care friend.Brave Sir Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11885043536453757210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-75561933034448876602009-01-27T11:01:00.000-05:002009-01-27T11:01:00.000-05:00Hang in there, groovy cats.Hang in there, groovy cats.Randal Graveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08728992897551848531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-74305438644258819502009-01-27T08:22:00.000-05:002009-01-27T08:22:00.000-05:00Lisa - I feel so much sympathy for you. I hope th...Lisa - I feel so much sympathy for you. I hope that being able to write about it helps.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there, 'cause January is almost over.<BR/><BR/>xx, BeeBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02375981493145612394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-30288155283051815272009-01-27T02:18:00.000-05:002009-01-27T02:18:00.000-05:00You'll get through this. We'll all get through thi...You'll get through this. We'll all get through this. It's fairly horrible right now, but it will work out. Lucky you, you've got MathMan. Chin up, sugar.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-37396504616227623152009-01-26T22:47:00.000-05:002009-01-26T22:47:00.000-05:00Thank you. Each of you for your incredible strengt...Thank you. Each of you for your incredible strength and support. I appreciate it more than you may know. And I promise. My reasons for sticking around are many and they include this wonderful bunch of people.<BR/><BR/>Love,<BR/><BR/>Lisalisahgoldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11158660223296807317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-69353166359886035902009-01-26T22:04:00.000-05:002009-01-26T22:04:00.000-05:00Whew...I've been there. Once, when Iwanski and I ...Whew...I've been there. Once, when Iwanski and I were first married and down to our last $10, we decided to experiment and put the money (in single dollar bills) in a box labeled "FREE MONEY" on the sidewalk. Of course, some teenagers took it...but the next day, I got a check for $100 from my Mom in the mail--she just thought we could "use the money." Boy, could we!! :)<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I know money doesn't grow on trees...but I know it will get better for you...it has to. I know it sounds cliche, but this too shall pass. And I know you're not particularly religious, but I'll still say a prayer for you and yours. :)Miss Healthypantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02388211920649065327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-38878719988570599502009-01-26T21:37:00.000-05:002009-01-26T21:37:00.000-05:00Your hubby has a t-shirt "Math is hard", get yours...Your hubby has a t-shirt "Math is hard", get yourself one that says, "Being Mom is hard." Learning to love how difficult it is just as hard (so my siblings with children have told me). Plus, they won't really appreciate you until they have kids of their own. Somewhere therein is the reward for being a Mom.Eebiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02318197747955046452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-7378228728970298932009-01-26T17:52:00.000-05:002009-01-26T17:52:00.000-05:00I do know something about this:Stay focused on tod...I do know something about this:<BR/><BR/>Stay focused on today and the important people in your life.<BR/><BR/>Take your camera out and shoot beautiful things then revel in them.<BR/><BR/>Make sure you breathe.<BR/><BR/>Set up for a good night's sleep. If you're having trouble, don't drink.<BR/><BR/>Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don't keep cycling through the what ifs.<BR/><BR/>Know deep down that things will get better. You'll look back and learn important things.<BR/><BR/>Hang on and try to give yourself credit for getting through each day.<BR/><BR/>Victories are small and they come in the moment.Gifted Typisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847472209048585938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-2991542744120187732009-01-26T16:33:00.000-05:002009-01-26T16:33:00.000-05:00The beginning of the year, especially Jan. is the ...The beginning of the year, especially Jan. is the thick black hair sticking out of the mole under the ass cheek of the year. No doubt we all feel like shit during this time of year, with the short days, cold weather, the longest point from summer. It's a bummer for everyone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-49165539414379650742009-01-26T14:31:00.000-05:002009-01-26T14:31:00.000-05:00I've been in the Chapter 13 boat, baby. It's a lon...I've been in the Chapter 13 boat, baby. It's a long long ride, but once it's over--wow. I can't be sure, but I think I felt something similar to what I'd feel if I'd been in a gulag for five years and was finally released; it was <I>that good.</I><BR/><BR/>You are--everyone is--too rich a person to "cease to be," honey. The universe needs you to be exactly who you are; that's why you're here. It'll get better. It's just been a long fucking winter (like 8 years long), and it's been exhausting. But spring will be here soon.<BR/><BR/>My thoughts are with you and the family.dguzmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01811101661607351661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-54307310596162555012009-01-26T13:30:00.000-05:002009-01-26T13:30:00.000-05:00Does it help to know that it's 15.2degrees in love...Does it help to know that it's 15.2degrees in lovely Des Plaines at the monent and the wind chill is 6? Or that we are expecting snow tomorrow (ok only about an inch, but it is still snow)! Hang in there. It will get better. You're doing something about it and not just sitting there letting everything blow up around you. You are in control, maybe not of The Spawn all the time, but you and MathMan do have control over this. <BR/>((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))<BR/>MaryCatholicAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-14082543007675208712009-01-26T12:13:00.000-05:002009-01-26T12:13:00.000-05:00i am employed by the school district here, so i kn...i am employed by the school district here, so i know all about that six week stretch. gah!<BR/><BR/>hang in there. :)Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03520811677683114077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-24911653840938101412009-01-26T11:36:00.000-05:002009-01-26T11:36:00.000-05:00Ive been a "lurker" here for a while and wanted to...Ive been a "lurker" here for a while and wanted to let you know that you are a girl after my own heart. We are so similar in our thoughts that it is very unnerving.<BR/>When I found out I was carrying my last child, I was already a single mother with 3. She was an oops, did I forget my diaphram? incident and fathered by a man whom I had no inclination to be with long term. I also knew that he would not be depended on to help support her let alone raise her. <BR/> I know what it is like to do without, to have to save for a $5 hair cut for the boys. If it weren't for my children I would be either dead or in jail. At times, they were the only reason that I got up in the am to go to work.<BR/>My bother committed suicide Dec 14, 2003. He was 35 and the baby of our family. I will always fill guilt about his death as I feel that I was a contributor. I didn't see the obvious signs, I didn't address the seriousness of his alcoholism as it would mean I would have to confront mine. this is something that i carry, I cannot go through a day without thinking about him.Besshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01265303106494265852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-6576745498504015092009-01-26T10:37:00.000-05:002009-01-26T10:37:00.000-05:00I get it. I totally get it and I am precisely whe...I get it. I totally get it and I am precisely where you are. 100%<BR/><BR/>I totally understand how she did what she did. She justified it in her head that her family would be better off without her--either that her presence was the problem or that her absence would make things easier. <BR/><BR/>I have about $300,000 in life insurance through my job but not the kind I can take a loan out against. If you don't think I've researched whether or not it would pay out if I should commit suicide...well, I have and it doesn't. <BR/><BR/>So, today, Keith will register at the day labor place and then we'll both go the plasma "donation" center to get $60 for groceries so we can all eat dinner tonight. /sigh/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-42467261185232644892009-01-26T10:09:00.000-05:002009-01-26T10:09:00.000-05:00"It is always darkest before the dawn" ( we can ..."It is always darkest before the dawn" ( we can only hope!!!!!)<BR/><BR/>Hang in there...and be gentle with yourself.<BR/><BR/>(((golden manor))))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-28340413741730537672009-01-26T09:36:00.000-05:002009-01-26T09:36:00.000-05:00It will get better. It may be hard to believe on d...It will get better. It may be hard to believe on dreary days in January, but there will be a Spring -- and you guys will manage to escape the financial hole you're in now.Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18359007443116549436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-65754259751110259482009-01-26T06:49:00.000-05:002009-01-26T06:49:00.000-05:00No! No! You must'nt cease to be. Been there, fe...No! No! You must'nt cease to be. Been there, felt that...more than once. Thank goodness I opted out of doing it. Damn, I would have missed so many wonderful things if I had done it. I determined if things were that bad at the time, they could only get better. Sure enough, they did.<BR/><BR/>I think right now life is a project for everyone in one way or another. The idea is to hang in there and beat the beast. It can be done. It really can.pissed off patriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08854364015577541981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-33813001310405904082009-01-26T06:08:00.000-05:002009-01-26T06:08:00.000-05:00((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))) Take good ca...((((((((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))))))) Take good care of yourself.WendyCarolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10855552019336659332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-76240582339439074942009-01-26T05:53:00.000-05:002009-01-26T05:53:00.000-05:00Lisa; I've had those same thoughts many times. I'...Lisa; I've had those same thoughts many times. I've come close to pulling the trigger on many a dark day, when even the pawn shaop couldn't help me out. My kids have much to hate me for, but somehow they still love me.<BR/><BR/>Yours do too, and they see a very strong woman who keeps on trying every single day. That's the best example you can hold up for your children: perseverance under fire.<BR/><BR/>You've got lots of fire!<BR/><BR/>You deserve much more than you give yourself credit for.kkrynohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07727264476742817993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-65547805674143066232009-01-26T05:33:00.000-05:002009-01-26T05:33:00.000-05:00I'm a survivor of parental suicide and let me tell...I'm a survivor of parental suicide and let me tell you, it fucking sucks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-57655759340248885962009-01-26T04:08:00.000-05:002009-01-26T04:08:00.000-05:00I don't think it was judgmental...it is an incredi...I don't think it was judgmental...it is an incredibly selfish act. I need time to read the rest of your post; it seems deep and slow, which is how I want to take it...♥ Brajahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07693196044262677095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-2901323172635243992009-01-26T00:32:00.000-05:002009-01-26T00:32:00.000-05:00The family is the only thing that's kept me from o...The family is the only thing that's kept me from offing myself.<BR/>I know they need me and I need them. I'm sory about your tangle of emotions running fast and furious in all directions, money problems split us wide open though and you have to stop blaming yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-79137565094203551262009-01-26T00:27:00.000-05:002009-01-26T00:27:00.000-05:00I'm so sorry for the trials you and your family fi...I'm so sorry for the trials you and your family find yourselves facing.<BR/><BR/>For whatever it's worth, there are a lot of people rooting for you.<BR/><BR/>And having seen, up close and far too many times, the effects of a suicide on those left behind, I wish I could just reach out and grab you and tell you you're doing the right thing by sticking around.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09747874295331152779noreply@blogger.com