tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post6677145041049334416..comments2023-10-17T08:16:35.305-04:00Comments on That's Why: Almost As Satisfying as Killing Two Flies With One Whack. Which I Just Did.lisahgoldenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11158660223296807317noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-7198584395592037552009-04-30T22:41:00.000-04:002009-04-30T22:41:00.000-04:001. I "un-friended" you on FB because you are mean...1. I "un-friended" you on FB because you are mean and I don't like you.<br /><br />2. It's one thing to be blunt and somewhat rude. It's quite another to troll through the lives of others looking for fodder to hold over their heads. THAT makes you a sadistic, useless tool.<br /><br />3. Get a volume button on your voice, buddy. Make sure it comes with a mute button. If you don't, I'll short circuit my TNS unit and taser you unconscious, you pathetic blowhard.rennratthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08258514296905380163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-89986282068298326082009-04-29T23:15:00.000-04:002009-04-29T23:15:00.000-04:00"What would like to say to someone that you held b..."What would like to say to someone that you held back?"<br /><br />I have three Rollaway tool boxes within reach, each has one drawer full of assorted hammers and very sharp pointy things, if you don't get the fuck out of my sight in three seconds, I am going to start throwing ALL of them at you.<br /><br />Nevermind, too late.Philhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15695733883033137146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-68084046828675983132009-04-29T23:10:00.000-04:002009-04-29T23:10:00.000-04:00So do I really want to start? I mowed the lawn AT...So do I really want to start? I mowed the lawn AT the whole thing and I didn't really get anything out of that but sore wrists and a headache, neither of which helped. What was going round and round in my head to the tune of the mower engine?<br /><br />"OK, d___head, if you think you know everything already and don't need to get anyone else's input go ahead and f__k it up on your own. I'm going to date file my suggestions so I can prove I already thought of the items AFTER they bite your f__king head off and kick it around the block. I'm going to lobby to take more of this work somewhere else, so we actually get something done. I know the reason you want to control it all is so you can keep the size of the projects minuscule so you can appear to succeed. But no one is fooled. I sure as shit ain't."<br /><br />But actually I can't let it happen, because that wouldn't be team play, and I care about the clients and my boss. And I'm sure I'm overreacting. And I'm probably only reacting this way because I also like to control everything. (Farber's iron rule.) Good thing the stakes aren't that high on this particular item - but that also makes we suspect the intensity of my emotions... I have something personal at stake and I usually don't understand those.<br /><br />All done now.Steve Emeryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08628329561652344403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-60453042301845144342009-04-29T22:38:00.000-04:002009-04-29T22:38:00.000-04:00In general, I'm not known for "holding back." I s...In general, I'm not known for "holding back." I say what I mean, but try to be tactful when there's no reason to be hurtful. But oh my, how I used to have to bite my tongue raw, when I got my first post-divorce job and worked for a nasty little wretch of a man who ruled over his powerless female minions with a barbed tongue and an iron fist. He would call me into his office over some tiny infraction and yell at me in a demeaning and demoralizing way until I was in tears. I used to fantasize about breaking into his office, after hours, weilding an Uzi. In the fantasy, I was wearing a tight,black leather dress and stilleto-heeled boots. I screamed at him, "Okay, motherfucker, you're going to do what *I* say now. Get down on the floor! Now!" Of course he was terrified and obeyed me. When he was adequately prostrate, I commanded him to "Beg for mercy, you useless sack of shit!" Quaking with fear, and with tears streaming down his face, he begged. If he slowed down I put the heel of my boot against his doughy white neck and pressed it against his larynx. "Now tell me what an asshole you are and how you don't deserve to have a woman as fine as myself working for you." And finally, after squeezing all the humiliation from him that I could muster, I pointed the Uzi directly at his face and sprayed the ugly thing with all the bullets in the cannister.<br /><br />Ahhh. Good times.Madam Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00136166772469538966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-40997628543534333072009-04-29T21:10:00.000-04:002009-04-29T21:10:00.000-04:00Fun vid, strange friends! I'm going to pour a lit...Fun vid, strange friends! I'm going to pour a little vodka into my herbal tea. You're great, Lisa.Deloneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10348531544486944382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-43741486047688896122009-04-29T13:15:00.000-04:002009-04-29T13:15:00.000-04:00If it was something the listener would have actual...If it was something the listener would have actually heard, it would have been this, "Please don't marry her. You will be sorry."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-13180580468047091702009-04-29T11:48:00.000-04:002009-04-29T11:48:00.000-04:001) I want you guys to do the dishes because your ...1) I want you guys to do the dishes because your mom and I have been busting our butts at work all day only to come home and make dinner while you're home hours earlier and playing video games you ungrateful brats.Dean Wormerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06214049238722718299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-82925011937422622112009-04-29T01:18:00.000-04:002009-04-29T01:18:00.000-04:00Crap. How did that comment get up there with my "r...Crap. How did that comment get up there with my "real" identity? that's what I get for rushing<br /><br />Anywho, here's my (partial) list:<br /><br />http://notfainthearted.com/2009/04/28/is-it-still-monday/<br /><br />Here's to venting spleen so as it doesn't back up and 'splode all over the place.Not Faintheartedhttp://notfainthearated.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-41380655461807419962009-04-29T00:01:00.000-04:002009-04-29T00:01:00.000-04:00Gee, I am on a roll now--here are a few more:
one...Gee, I am on a roll now--here are a few more:<br /><br />one:<br />You know, when I met you I thought a man as short as you might have a Napoleon complex, and damned if I wasn't right. But did you know so-called straight men like you think you are don't use eyebrow pencil?<br /><br />two:<br />There's a reason the last 13 employees you supervised either quit or got fired--it's because you're a bitch!<br /><br />three:<br />Why use the word "utilize" when "use" is so much more efficient? And has anyone ever mentioned to you that the word "irregardless" is just fucking stupid and annoying?<br /><br />four:<br />Thanks for sending me all the goddamn bible quotes and rightwing e-mail. Have we met?<br /><br />five: <br />I know you loved your dog and his recent death nearly killed you, but I hated that dog because he was moody, he bit and barked too much. I like him better now that he's in that urn. Whooo's a good boyyy?<br /><br />six:<br />Paella again? Is that all you can cook?<br /><br />seven:<br />I realize you left me three voice mails and I neglected to return your calls. It's because you only call when you and your idiot girlfriend have broken up yet again, and I'm sick of hearing about it.<br /><br />eight:<br />I know your lover doesn't understand you and you should leave her, but please stop thinking I enjoy all the bitching and neediness enough to be your next victim.<br /><br />nine:<br />You once said you didn't deserve me, and you were right!<br /><br />ten:<br />If you want to get sexual, please do not mention anything even vaguely unpleasant about your vagina. <br /><br />eleven:<br />No, I don't know that bufugly old bull dyke sitting at that table over there. You think I know every queer in Texas?KarenZipdrivehttp://pulpfriction.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-1231678875677129722009-04-28T23:35:00.000-04:002009-04-28T23:35:00.000-04:00I should have said these things years ago:
Did it...I should have said these things years ago:<br /><br />Did it ever occur to you that your rude kids, especially the 6-year-old bratty son you are so partial to, make all that great sex we had just not worth it?<br />And did it ever occur to you that your alcoholism, even in recovery, is a royal pain in the ass?<br />And would it kill you to actually use your master's degree by displaying a modicum of proper grammar?<br />Oh, and one more thing--it's either "also" or "too," so using "also too" is not only redundant, it makes me want to punch you in the stupid ass larynx.<br /><br />(God that felt good)KarenZipdrivehttp://pulpfriction.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-29029017804217176512009-04-28T22:55:00.000-04:002009-04-28T22:55:00.000-04:00Well. I didn't say it to the intended's face, but ...Well. I didn't say it to the intended's face, but in commenting on a former managerial type who I had to confront in my former position, I mentioned that each time I stood up to him he lost a bit more of his penis until it wasn't much bigger than a slightly oversized clitoris.pissed in NYChttp://icantbelieveitsnotademocracy.blogs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-88533872603697840682009-04-28T22:28:00.000-04:002009-04-28T22:28:00.000-04:00I'm so much a natural recluse I manage to evade pe...I'm so much a natural recluse I manage to evade people who would annoy me. The ones I see in the world at large are more like weather and there's no sense getting angry at that.susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16747450215034568033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-67072944729020010052009-04-28T22:27:00.000-04:002009-04-28T22:27:00.000-04:00Here's what I would have titled my recent blog pos...Here's what I would have titled my recent blog post if it hadn't been for my in-laws reading it: "Cancer doesn't make mean people nice."Summer Kinardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13071928555304030141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-58868162600961175532009-04-28T22:01:00.000-04:002009-04-28T22:01:00.000-04:001. We should have stopped at 2 kids.
2. I seem ...1. We should have stopped at 2 kids.<br /><br />2. I seem to have no opinion because you are so self centered that there is no point in expressing myself.<br /><br />Ok, I'll stop there...Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12768569658001165651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-52812876404124659612009-04-28T21:55:00.000-04:002009-04-28T21:55:00.000-04:00OK, here goes:
1. I do not like having to share o...OK, here goes:<br /><br />1. I do not like having to share our house with your sister.<br /><br />2. Why is it that I hear a lot of women complain that they are not getting enough sex, and my sex life is about as good as a once a month bill mortgage payment?<br /><br />3. Why should I continue to watch American Idol when it is obvious that the producers have already picked the winner?<br /><br />4. I wish being stupid would hurt!Latkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06248245478315689002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-22650582444078498062009-04-28T20:01:00.000-04:002009-04-28T20:01:00.000-04:00Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode with the phr...Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode with the phrase "Serenity Now"? You shouldn't block up your anger, you know--"Serenity now...insanity later"! *grin* (This coming from a girl who pretty much avoids confrontation at all costs. But then again, I'm insane--so there you go. :) )Miss Healthypantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02388211920649065327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-26230920371983052042009-04-28T19:24:00.000-04:002009-04-28T19:24:00.000-04:00Angry Ballerina for the win.Angry Ballerina for the win.Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18359007443116549436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-53757589473679836662009-04-28T18:17:00.000-04:002009-04-28T18:17:00.000-04:00Because I love you..........I have an award for yo...Because I love you..........I have an award for you on my blog.......sorry...LOL.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11129662082248482002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-34379978573108063762009-04-28T18:14:00.000-04:002009-04-28T18:14:00.000-04:00Great idea. I'm going to copy it and I'll link bac...Great idea. I'm going to copy it and I'll link back. After I get back from visiting my brother in the hospital and going to a funeral. That plus the day/week I've had, it will be a long list.<br /><br />#8 made me laugh - pussies for peace or kids?<br /> <br />#9 made me sad.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01089574534585873786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-64328047623444415862009-04-28T17:55:00.000-04:002009-04-28T17:55:00.000-04:00Boy; if I open the flood-gate on that one, I may n...Boy; if I open the flood-gate on that one, I may never get it closed!kkrynohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07727264476742817993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-23629518378442483442009-04-28T16:58:00.000-04:002009-04-28T16:58:00.000-04:00I'm thinking that #8 was for the Pussies for Peace...I'm thinking that #8 was for the Pussies for Peace, actually.<br /><br />But...it could be one of the children. Lord only knows how many times I've walked into the bathroom and found stuff without paper in the toilet...yes, toilet training epic fail, I know.<br /><br />And Angry Ballerina wins the internet for today.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-46299828303184621922009-04-28T16:55:00.000-04:002009-04-28T16:55:00.000-04:00The best one? Angelina's, by far.
OK, so, if I d...The best one? Angelina's, by far.<br /><br />OK, so, if I do this, what goes on at That's Why stays at That's Why, right?<br /><br />Kind of like Mexico without the drug killings and swine flu. . .<br /><br />Anyway. Ahem. In no particular order.<br /><br />1) Even though I work harder than you, get more done, and complain less than you do about everything, you are better than me . . . why?<br /><br />2) When you get a life, I'll care.<br /><br />3) You want to be treated like a teenager, start acting like you'll be one soon (actually, this one I've said . . .)<br /><br />4) Actually, I'm less impressed with your intellect than you seem to be. (Special blogger edition non-comment; again, said this, although in a different way)<br /><br />And finally, the hardest one, which means it's the only one that counts. . . (gulp)<br /><br />5) I'm not sure I really want to work it out.Geoffrey Kruse-Saffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11242660591954094499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-16746546323858326172009-04-28T16:11:00.000-04:002009-04-28T16:11:00.000-04:00What a good idea... although I think that if I wer...What a good idea... although I think that if I were to actually type these things out I might not be able to stop for a long long time.<br /><br />My co-workers, are, ummm "special"Kaylia Metcalfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12527164450365029203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-67044115275791079482009-04-28T14:35:00.000-04:002009-04-28T14:35:00.000-04:00"I don't suck your dick because it smells like an ..."I don't suck your dick because it smells like an unwashed foot."<br /><br />Actually, I did say that, but not in so many words......Angry Ballerinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16289069595105241997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221819058568684886.post-65927717121465869422009-04-28T14:30:00.000-04:002009-04-28T14:30:00.000-04:00Re #8 - I really hope this refers to someone othe...Re #8 - I really hope this refers to someone other than MathMan and the children, Lisa. Otherwise, we need to talk about how you epic failed at toilet training.<br /><br />Hope all the getting-things-off-your-chest writing helped to prevent you from killing someone. But nothing beats the satisfaction of saying it to their faces. Still, I'll join the party:<br /><br />To X: Do YOU really not want to get together with us, or are you letting your wife dictate whether we all see each other more than once a year? If it's the former, I am seriously hurt. If it's the latter, WTF? Grow a new pair to replace your old ones that she's keeping in her sock drawer.<br /><br /><br />Damn, that felt GOOD. Thanks, Lisa.Fantastic Forresthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08044290192610027408noreply@blogger.com