Pages

Monday, March 2, 2009

Is There a Proper Way to Spell the Sound of Reddi-Wip Coming Out of theCan


So I was standing at my kitchen counter, squeezing honey from the little plastic bear straight into my mouth when I realized that I hadn't posted anything today.

And, though, I use this line often right before launching into a long, convoluted stream of semi-consciousness, I mean it tonight.

I have nothing to say. I'm all in.

Maybe it was the trip to Target and the grocery story. Spending money gives me hives lately. Maybe it was listening to Britney Spears' Circus not once, but twice while driving to town and back with Garbo. Whatever this day has been - it's taken a chunk out of me that no amount of honey or now the Reddi-Wip squirted right into my mouth can replace.

Wallow, moan, wallow, harrumph.

Maestro!


I'm giving up late nights, as inspired by the Bad Mom. So I'm off to snuggle in with Chief Inspector Barnaby and Sergeant Troy. And maybe MathMan, too.

P.S. I think I figured out the source of my ennuinnie. It was my day to work at home and I had a sick kid with me. That's not only a buzzkill of a different color, it also cuts down on my weekly lip-syncing fest (shit! I'd planned to work on I Will Survive! Dang it, dang it, dang it!). And that whole porn surfing break at 11:00 a.m.? Very inappropriate when The Spawn are at home.

' night, y'all.

40 comments:

  1. That Reddi Whip sound can best be written as "pfshhhhhhhlrp"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Life can sometimes be one long process of getting tired. Enjoy the cure :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fffpputhhupputhuuppthtpthhtpaa!

    But then, I’m so chock full of antibodies today that they might have damaged the glossary in my appendix.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm thinking the Reddi-Whip sounds more like KHWOOOAAAA. That's what it sounds like from inside my mouth. PFFTHHPPPPP if you're squirting it on pie. Pumpkin pie, MMMMMMMM, now I'm hungry, darn it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Huh, Im glad folks more adept with phonics handled the heavy work.....I'm still tied up with what the hell an "ennuinnie" is.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jesus that post was perfect even at the first line...lmao :))

    Bring teddy bear honey to India please :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. And now I have to go listen to "Sex on Fire."

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhhcKxflMY

    Mmm-Hmm.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Now I want something sweet. I tend to get hungry when I read you blog. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mmmmmmmm, honey straight from the jar into the mouth, mmmmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Is the Reddi Whip meant to symbolize the last little bit of inspiration/energy being squeezed out of your mind/body . . . you know when you just start getting the wheezing air sound?

    Do you feel that you have to post every day? Is it your personal goal and/or practice, or do you just feel compelled to stay in touch?

    ReplyDelete
  11. As you can tell my blog, I have many days like that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Honey and Reddi Whip...was that you foreplay before going to bed?

    ReplyDelete
  13. ththththththtththththtfffffffft

    Sick kids home on your day off! That IS a major buzzkill. They want juice, and water, and Tylenol, and attention which I'm just not fit to deliver when I'm planning to have the house to myself.

    ReplyDelete
  14. is anything tastier than reddi wip right in your mouth?? The sound is like something filling up.......but I'm not good at describing it.
    Many days fill me up with their monotony and repeated routine.....but such is life I suppose.
    I'm glad I read this in the morning, or I'd be hungry for some sweets.........NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Make the kids play outside. Sure, it's probably cold and sure they're supposedly sick, but we both know that kids fake illness 99.44% of the time. That porn ain't gonna surf itself at least not until someone invents a porn-surfing artificial intelligence.

    ReplyDelete
  16. shhhhhhhhtttttpppppghhhhh...

    followed by the sound of gulping as it goes straight from the can to the gullet.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm having an inspiration drought, too. Maybe a whole post about made-up onomatopoeic words is in order.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Glad to know I'm not the only one who does that.

    I spent last night NOT writing myself... was more in the mood for watching "rot your brain" TV shows like Dollhouse and LOST.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think it's kind of like PSHHHHHHTTSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Although you know, I haven't had any in a while so I could be wrong. And now I NEED some. Thanks, Lis.

    ReplyDelete
  20. No wonder you were tired, with such weighty questions on your mind. Hope you had a lovely sleep and feel better now!

    ReplyDelete
  21. hmmmm, I do this with hershey's chocolate syrup and I would say it's a very loud raspberry blown through a tuba...

    thanks for the giggles :D

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm going to call it as a long, slow, hiss.

    Oh, you mean to actually get whipped cream out, don't you?

    Sad to say that in my occasional grasps at escape (that so frequently overlap lapses in logical thinking), I did a Whip-it for nostalgia's sake, had to steady myself, and killed the rest of my buzz worrying that I was getting too old to kill the brain cells that were currently dying.

    I'm just not cool in that way anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mmmmmm... N20! (Nostalgically speaking, natch.)

    ReplyDelete
  24. No porn surfing break? How did you survive???? :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. We can never keep that reddiwhip stuff in the fridge.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Garbo was sick again? I hope you hogged all the Rediwhip. That'll teach her to mess with your morning porn break.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I took get the rediwhip straight from the can. As well as chocolate syrup. Damn, now I'm hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Look, I "gave up" sugar for Lent, which means I have taken to putting honey in my tea instead. Honey is medicinal.

    Way to go on getting the entire internets to fixate on cans of whipped cream.
    -Summer

    ReplyDelete
  29. Whipped cream... No one here is into it.

    I'm grumpy after a long evening of painting and making a truly awful mess. Three sessions ins a row, total busts or worse. I am in a ditch for sure. BOTH right wheels are getting no traction at all, and the left ones are throwing rocks all over.

    When I think of I Will Survive I hear Cake singing it. I know it ought to be Gloria Gaynor, and I heard her on my mental soundtrack for almost thirty years, but Alex changed that when he loaned me his entire Cake collection. Speaking of which, Nugget is right in line with how I feel right now. I Want to sing it to my muse - cut it from my bloated budget like chicken mcnuggets.

    Now I need to turn off my music and listen to this song you posted. Maybe it will change my mood before I go to bed and pull the covers over my head so the art harpies will leave me the fuck alone. They need to go tear out someone else's eyes - mine hurt enough looking at tonight's juvenile crap coming out of my paintbrush.

    ReplyDelete
  30. See? Cake to the rescue. Before I could even finish that last comment they came on singing I Want to Love You Madly. "I don't want to jump in unless this music's thumpin'. All the dishes rattle in the cupboards when the elephants arrive." How can you not smile?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Criminitly! Where have I been that I never heard of these guys?! I can imagine driving long and happily with this album in my CD player.

    Scribble, scribble, scribble. More to go look up.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Some days are like this - all of the mundane and irritating - none of the pleasures. Reddi-Whip just can't cover it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Very, very nice new picture on the banner. What a nice surprise.

    ReplyDelete
  34. ahhh reddi whip...screw the hot coco...just hand over the can...sometimes we need a good can...nice and fresh....Frrrreeeepttttppppptttt....that is the noise it makes when it comes out nice and fresh....

    I love the new banner..sorry I have not been round much....

    and I had never heard Kings of Leon...wow...thanks...

    ReplyDelete
  35. Redi-whip is my cure of choice too often! And I'm with you on the enervating power of kids at home more than you thought they would be. I'm right with you this week.

    Here's to the next week being the creative/energy stretch we need!

    Kirie

    ReplyDelete
  36. sssssshhhhhcccrummmmmptch.
    Howwzat?

    ReplyDelete
  37. In the old days of Blogging, we used to call entries like this a haircut blog.

    "I've got nuthin' today, woke up, ate some cereal, got a haircut..."

    ReplyDelete
  38. Because we are all "hooked on semiotics!" Pain and I agree on this one as an onomatopoeia, "Shrrrrrdt."

    ReplyDelete

And then you say....

(Comments submitted four or more days after a post is published won't appear immediately. They go into comment moderation to cut down on spam.)