Okay, I take it back. I hate the Obamas. That Michelle Obama has some nerve sending me an email about obesity just after I typed the nutritional information for the two servings of chocolate covered raisins I consumed yesterday into my Sparkpeople page. Not to mention the two servings of malted milk balls that don't count because no one actually saw me eating them.
Who does she think she is? I mean, Laura Bush never tossed her cigarette into the White House's backyard and strolled into her office only to sit down and compose and send offensive emails out to the masses. Did she?
Michelle Obama and her long, lean self can stick it. I'd be much skinnier if I were six feet tall, too. She shouldn't be shaming me with her faux concern about fat people.
I'm gonna need some pie to recover from this outrage.
If we're so damn fat, why don't they change the farm bill?
ReplyDelete@Summer, without the Farm Subsidies cheap junk food wouldn't be cheap.
ReplyDeleteI see DCup is still around. Did you know that if you break a cookie in half all the calories leak out???
I just shot me a chocolate mousse and dadgummit, I plan to skin and eat the poor thing.
ReplyDeleteMichelle Obama is skinny?
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of pie? Apple? Rhubarb? Lemon meringue?
ReplyDeleteI always said it's not my fault I'm only 5 feet tall. I wouldn't be this fat if I were a decent height!
ReplyDeleteI don't seem to have gotten one of those, and I'm pretty sure I'm on their email list. (Because they have no weigh of knowing my size (groans optional). Hah.)
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, I shall have a slice of apple pie in your honor.
What Summer and Kulkuri said. Stop subsidizing corn and start subsidizing lettuce.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mauigirl. If I were 5 ft 10 rather than 5 ft 2, I'd be fine!
ReplyDeleteWait a minute...
I've got a wonderful husband (who loves every ounce of me) and 3 wonderful kids. I'm fine anyway!
this was hysterical...thanks...i needed that!
ReplyDeletelove you♥
Lettuce? None of you live in fear of the monolithic lettuce lobby? You're far braver than I.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to take anything said about diet and exercise by anyone either personally or seriously, the end.
ReplyDeletethanks for the invite. I'm glad you're back here.
ReplyDeleteI like pie.
ReplyDeleteOh, sorry, I forgot why I came here. Oh yes.
Laura Bush never sent out mass emails because she was too stoned on Xanax to find her computer or her personal secretary.
Let's cut her some slack, though- look what she's married to. She started out in life a respectable, very pretty librarian and becomes a rictus-sporting, zombie-istic, Republican, Stepford wife and married to george W. Bush.
Wouldn't you be popping Xanax like fuckin' beer nuts, Lisa?
All hail the return of DCup. May her titties forever flap in the breeze like Superman's cape. (So to speak.)
I love it when I am allowed beyond the velvet rope and into the club where all the cool kids are.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the invite. Even if I am a fat ass.
Just seeing if this invite commenting thing works.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I got here just in time! I'll take two pieces of chocolate cake.
ReplyDeleteBAC
Like Kulkuri says, I'm getting all hot for the DCupness of it all. Well he didn't say that exactly, but I hope DCup keeps on writing.
ReplyDelete