Monday, January 5, 2009

It's Not Like I Whacked Her Over the Head with a Shovel


R.I.P. DCup.

Let us say a few words in her honor. First, let us revisit how she got her name. As she so eloquently explained it here in her first post.
I actually had a boss who called me "D Cup" back in the mid-nineties. This was after the whole country buzzed about sexual harrassment (hell, we couldn't even decide if it was pronounced 'hair-ess-mint' or ha-rass-mint') during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings. Obviously, the whole affair sailed by my boss Bill R.. Anyway, he called me "D Cup" right to my face (though his eyes may have been elsewhere) and I remember being quite stunned at this pronouncement. How could he tell? Do they teach boys how to size up chicks wearing full office suit attire and industrial strength, underwire bras?

Today I rechristen myself by that name which was once used to belittle me. I take this moniker with pride because I realize that this is an essential part of who I am. These hooters have given nourishment and pleasure. They've bounced and swung, jiggled and juiced. They've been suckled by men and babies alike. And hang it all, I hope to live with them as pillows, playthings, and distractions for many years to come.
So that's how she got her name and her start. It was my attempt to push back, to make fun of the way women are treated, be they large or small of breast.

And it worked for me.

So why change? Well something you might not have noticed is that the moniker DCup was offensive or negatively provocative to some people. I'd like to say "some people" with a roll of the eyes and that knowing smirk, but maybe that's not fair.

Rarely would someone say something about the name DCup on PoliTits or Un-Glued, but when I was out commenting on other sites, I would occasionally get crap from other commenters. I didn't like it, but I understood it. Some of you might remember last spring when I went through an identity crisis and changed my name several times. I really considered using my own name then, but with all the other things going on, I wasn't prepared to be completely out there with my identity.

Looking back, I was doing a poor job of staying anonymous anyway, but that's neither here nor there now. Recently, I'd been considering changing things up, including my name and consulted with MathMan, The Spawn and some of my friends. They were all supportive of the idea. What finally pushed me over the edge, though, were some more negative responses to the name. I decided I'd had enough.

The funny thing is that the negative response that most irritated me, came from another woman. In what she probably considered a trivial swipe, she noted her dislike of my name in comments at another blog. "DCup isn't the only one with large breasts," she said. Ouch. I didn't like that. Was that what I appeared to imply? I decided that enough was enough.

Confirmation like a bookend to my decision to change came from a sanctimonious prig, again in the comments somewhere else. In one of the most sexist and digusting comments I've ever encountered, the writer addressed me by my moniker DCup and added (sheesh) after it. I laughed when I read it because I'd already changed my name, but felt, too, that I had done the right thing.

Now if someone wants to address me, they can do so on the merits of my words, my thoughts, my actions in the blogosphere. A name like Lisa leaves them little to attack as a persona. It's a dead common name and implies nothing more than the fact that I am one of oh so many of us born between the late 1950s and 1980. It may date me, but it doesn't imply that I think one thing or another about myself or anyone else.

So there is the answer. And PoliTits? Well, that blog was a labor of love and I'll miss it, too. But I have hopes of being a published writer and I wonder how hard it would be to get some venues to take me seriously with the name 'Tits in all my writing. I don't want to be shunted off into a narrow writing segment at this point.

Dreams, right?

So let us all wish for DCup a peaceful rest where she, too, can just be herself.

53 comments:

  1. Because I've just gotten to know you, I suppose that I wasn't attached (no pun intended) to your previous persona.

    It's always a choice, isn't it: Persona or real person? In some ways, it is a bit of a convention to style ourselves as someone else in blog-land. In truth, you always had an authentic voice - whether you intended it or not. I think that DCup probably gave you a certain swagger, and although that was fun, perhaps it was limiting, (damaging?), too?

    Anyway: One of the nicest things about blogging is that we get to write what we want to write. Our space is our own. Best wishes to you in the transformation to "just" being yourself. Lisa.

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  2. Something from the Wrath of Khan comes to mind that was quoted in a Seinfeld episode. Dcup is not dead is we find a way to remember her; I will and I imagine others will, too. I think that whole is not greater than any part alone. This new blogging Lisa will be greater than just Dcup alone.

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  3. Hi Lisa enjoyed reading D cups blog I am sure I will enjoy the new one too.

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  4. I guess when I think about it, I was never crazy about the DCup part. I was not against it, but something caused me to not be fully for that name.

    It wasn't judgment or sexual or anything, and honestly I never gave it too much thought, but I know I did not always appreciate the name.

    Your explanation, which I had never read before, told me a lot.

    I think you had to claim that name and did so with tremendous vitality. You did what you came to do.

    However, having given this some thought over these days, I think what I did not feel comfortable about the DCup part was that as I got to know you, I felt like Lisa was so amazing. Lisa is amazing.

    Why, in a sense, hide her?

    And now the flower has burst forth and Lisa is in bloom.

    That is something I really like, the authenticity of who you are.

    That was her time.

    This is your time.

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  5. As a liberal voice originating in Alabama, I found a pseudonym gave wing-nuts an attack point - other than my values, ideas and thinking.

    That is what I thought of PoliTits and Dcup; they were an announcement of a sardonic and unique vision of our reality - a name to attack, rather than the ideas.

    What ever name you use, your ideas are meritricious.
    .

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  6. Lisa, I always found the Dcup moniker and Politits title very sassy and brave. As a woman who has also had to deal with a few too many men looking me straight in the ... versus straight in the eye, I totally understood and could relate to your desire to just GIVE IT RIGHT BACK, show that you were strong enough to be a woman, and you were tough enough not to be humiliated or demeaned.

    At the same time, I'm really glad you went through that process and came out the other side. It's the process of growth, the process of challenging both what/who we think we are AND what/who other people think we are.

    I think, but I'm not entirely sure of this so don't quote me (ha!!!), that what we'll ultimately find is our true selves buried, struggling to surface, somewhere in that messy, weird tug-of-war. AND, without that messiness, and the courage it takes to dive into that messiness, we will just end being just kinda dull, kinda flat (hmmm ... Acups!!).

    So anyway, Onwards and Upwards !!!

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  7. Dear Lisa, Congratulations! I liked your writing then (came to it via our mutual friend FranIAm), I like it now, and I feel joy in your writing today. Write on and right on!

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  8. I loved Dcup and Politits, but I have to admit, I was surprised when I first met you, because that name and that title seemed to belong to a blowsy, hard-bitten broad, maybe with a loud Texas twang...I didn't expect the gorgeous and soft-spoken but cool person you turned out to be. I love the new place, and if there's any justice, you'll be a published author.

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  9. Too funny of a picture! I loved all the names you used. But Lisa is nice. Is it Monday already? And do we have to work a full week after having 3 four day weeks in a row (one because of snow)?

    Well off to work I go, into the frozen north, yes, it snowed again last night.

    Have a productive and hopefully fun Monday.

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  10. the only thing I wonder about is why I'm read on Monday/Thursday.

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  11. With a name like "Golden," how can you go wrong??!! (No matter that you married into it!)

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  12. The picture reminds me of the one in Woody Allen's "Everything you've always wanted to know about sex". I think it was a Z-bra, as big as they come.
    (hell, we couldn't even decide if it was pronounced 'hair-ess-mint' or ha-rass-mint') And I thought it was 'her-ass-mint'.
    There is always satisfying in taking a term that others use as a slur and owning it and using it with pride yourself. Yooper started as putdown by the Trolls, but now it is used by most as a source of pride.

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  13. I love whatever name you choose...but am I the only one who would also read your name as: DC Up?

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  14. @mathman, KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!

    Can we call you Al?

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  15. I agree with another commenter that dcup and tits gave you sas and spunk in a southern bible belt area(ugh). If I were labled by my bra size alone, it might be scary...lol, so I think my name alone is fine. I like Lisa, I liked her by any other moniker as well............so all is good!

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  16. To quote another lady I like a lot, too:

    You've "found your voice."

    I actually always loved the names DCup and PoliTits, but I understand completely the transformation you are going through as a writer. But I must admit, I will miss my neighbor across the street shouting to me, "I love PoliTits!"

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  17. .... just as long as you keep sharing your life and thoughts..... and, dedicate your first book to us.... and......

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  18. As long as you keep writing and posting the great photos I don't care what you call yourself or the blog.

    (And, no, you didn't hit her with a shovel -- it's more like you retired the cape and decided to avoid phone booths for awhile.)

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  19. It's not like the boobs are gone or anything. Way to go.

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  20. hiya, never mattered to me what you called yourself or your blog.

    i come for the posts and the friendships!

    as to breasts...

    hell, i have boobs like my grandma, "goats ears"

    the boob fairy skipped every other generation in my family.

    it is what it is and they are what they are. ; )



    my daughter used to get really po'd when in high school and college because she is "ahem" well endowed and also was a top student but even some teachers couldn't lift their gaze for a moment or two.

    now, it doesn't bother her one bit and she can make light of it.

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  21. I look forward to your new incarnation. And I've updated my blogroll.

    — Your pal, Ccup

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  22. i can dig it! and i will be back to read here often.

    happy new year, lisa.

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  23. It's all good.

    You've just metaphorically outgrown DCup.

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  24. Lisa, I'm with you to the end. Maybe I should make some changes too. But first I have to master the technological stuff.

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  25. Very nice looking. I'm a new regular, following Ms. Fran's orders! LOL. Best to ya

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  26. So now I can adopt the moniker " protective cup," I guess, and no one will be confused...

    Hi, Lisa. Nice to meet you. Thanks for sharing the moment.

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  27. Hi Lisa, good explanation about the past and the present! I didn't know the origins of your original moniker but I never minded it, I kind of figured it was something like that!

    I know what you mean about being taken seriously as a writer. I write under Mauigirl both on my regular blog and my medical blog, Medicana. It did cross my mind that if I ever wanted to become a medical writer, either for laymen's magazines or more serious publications (something I've toyed with), I have no proof that I even wrote the posts that I wrote, and under the name "Mauigirl" it doesn't exactly ask to be taken seriously anyway! So I hear you. And it's funny, all the people who know me actually know I'm Mauigirl anyway so why not come out and put it under my own name? I guess part of it is I'm too lazy to change and I kind of like the persona "Mauigirl." But one day I may be brave enough to do what you have done!

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  28. Welcome Lisa and as for whats her name

    "It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an EX-PARROT!"

    Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch

    Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!

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  29. Good luck with the transformation. I hope that it proves to be successful. :)

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  30. well, young lady, you certainly take the "new" in new year to heart!

    i thought that 'politits' was one of the funniest and best blog names in all of the internets. however, i loved you as dcup, and i will love you as lisa as well. no matter the name, nobody can fill your....shoes! ;-)

    the new site looks very nice, and i wish you the best of luck with it, lisa.

    mmmwwaaahhhhhhh!!!

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  31. Oh, my F***ing god!!! You are so good at writing about tits. I'm so glad there's still bandwith left for tits in this world; blogging or otherwise! ;-)

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  32. i heard this song on Randi Rhodes' show on the XM radio then was lucky enough to actually find it on the internets...... here is "bounce your boobies".....

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  33. Love you whatever name you go by.

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  34. Hearty congratulations on the new blog. I look forward to more. Happy New Year!

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  35. Hearty congratulations on the new blog. I look forward to more. Happy New Year!

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  36. Hearty congratulations on the new blog. I look forward to more. Happy New Year!

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  37. Whatever name ...whereever you are ...so so good to KNOW you and know where to find you....

    always...
    ( put you in the Blog Round Up tonight at watergate summer...)

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  38. Yikes. How did that happen. Feel free to delete my, um, stutter.

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  39. Welcome to the world of using your real name on your blog. I chose the same route.

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  40. I always wanted to refer to you as Lisa after I learned your name, but never was sure if that was proper on your blog.

    Now, no worries!!!! :)

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  41. Coals to Newcastle--'cause you've got more well-wishers than Bush has holes in his nasal septum--but I thought I'd say good luck on the new endeavor.

    Nice to meet you, Lisa.

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  42. Love the look and permission to call you by name. I have updated my favorites and will do the same with my blogroll. Thanks for including me in your X Chrom list!

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  43. Whatever name you want to use if fine with me (even if you are id as Lisa, the blogger formerly known as DCUp, at my place). Congrats on your new place.

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  44. I love it that you are "out there" enough now to just be completely you AND use your whole name on your blog. Go for it.

    But I also loved the unapologetic fun of the DCup Politits venture. I still recall exactly where we were on a walk when MLight told me about your blog. I checked it out that very evening. No way I could forget how to look it up...

    And I understand the desire to build some writing background that you could refer to professionally, as you pursue your dream. And you've got good reason to pursue it - you write with startling clarity, wit, and panache.

    And it was worth reading the entire thread of comments just to read Pagan's. Another classy lady who speaks her mind loudly at times. As much as I love your blog, I am as grateful for the intro to The Pagan Sphinx.

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  45. Oddly enough, it took me a long time to realize what "DCup" meant. In the blogging world, there are so many people with cute 'n' cryptic pseudonyms that it just didn't occur to me that it was in any way unusual. Eventually, I made the connection between the names PoliTits and Dcup, and now that I understand the reference, it still doesn't seem particularly weird. All that said, I have always found it to be odd that so many bloggers seem to feel a need to hide behind pseudonyms and be anonymous. On my blog, although I have followed the convention of avoiding direct reference to my real name, it wouldn't be very hard to figure out who I am. I suppose there are wackos out there, but I guess I feel like my presence in the blogosphere is pretty insignificant and I don't worry about it. Maybe other bloggers who have greater readership might have reason to remain anonymous, but I question the real need. Anyway, good for you for following your muse, as they say.

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  46. Funny and well written. I think I can deal with Lisa better because it will be easier for this weak pile of man to look in your eyes while speaking, lol.
    Alan
    PS, I thought I had lost a follower on Robot Nine then you popped back up. Sheesh!

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  47. I just found Fluffington Post today and went to Tanya Espanya for a referral on DCup who I thought was a brilliant parodist. She gave the big nod and shunted me straight over here. And am I ever glad she did.

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  48. I have to admit, it was your name that first caught my attention--I saw a comment you posted on another site, and your name just cracked me up--had to check it out--from there, your profile led me to "Politits" which, as I've said before, has got to be one of the best blog names I ever saw--cause it just fit so perfectly.

    Although I am in a substantial minority here wrt ideology, I am firmly in the majority of well-wishers for the new site.

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  49. I should have been over here earlier. The picture looks like something from a Giant Woman post over at my place.

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  50. You know what you coulda called this new blog, don't you, Lisa?

    (Maestro, drum roll, please. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........)

    My DDCup.

    (Rimshot, warbled, offkey trumpet. The end. Thank you, I'll be here for the rest of my life.)

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  51. What better than to be able to come home to than yourself? And the reason most of the asshole commenters are named Anonymous? Maybe because it sucks to be yourself when you're a dickwad.

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  52. Shall we investigate 2 obvious alternatives?
    1. dickless wads
    2. wadless dicks

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