Thursday, February 5, 2009

Administrative Procedure for the Compulsively Worried Blogger

Disclaimer: I realize that in the grand scheme of things, the importance I occupy in your life is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence. But I know bloggers who do a fabulous job of both responding to the comments on their blogs and getting out there and reading and commenting on others' blogs. Dang if I know how they do it.

Anyway, I've learned that my job situation is going to change and I'm going to have far less time in my hands for blogging. I love the fact that you come here and comment. I know I've been incredibly spotty at responding to comments in the last couple of months. So now I guess I'm putting it to you. Please tell me:

Which is more gratifying to you?
a) Having me come to your blog, read it and leave comments
b) Having me respond to your comments here

Just writing this question seems so silly, but you've already figured out that I'm a shameless people pleaser and, more than anything else, I want you to love me. Or at least not hate me.

So I want to know - if I have to choose between activities, which would you prefer? Feedback on what you say to me here or feedback on what you say at your place? Sadly, most days I'm not able to do both.

I keep trying to figure out how to add more hours to the day. So far, nothing. The Shiftless Spawn continue their endless, selfish campaign for food and clean clothing. The lawyer still hasn't found a way for me to legally auction them off. The Pussies for Peace still refuse to pick up the slack, even though I've upped their canned food allowance to two teaspoons per day. And MathMan? Well, what can I say? He's fabulous and has made great strides since the Days of Fury, but he doesn't have enough hours in his day either. Or so he says. Something about students, administrators and an upcoming baseball season.....

So here I am. A pleading mess of goo, begging you to tell me what to do. It's pathetic, isn't it? Perhaps if I cared less what you thought, our relationship would be healthier. Maybe if I didn't answer the siren song of your every rss feed, feel the tug of every email telling me you've left me another sumptuously witty comment, I wouldn't be on my knees before you now, hoping for some clue, some crumb of knowledge about how to keep you not happy - but the happiest.

You see right through this, don't you? You know that I want you to make it easy for me, so I don't have to feel guilty when I open the emails with your comments, greedily drinking in your wisdom, love and humor, knowing full well I don't intend to go back and attempt to respond because the chocolate supply is running low and I haven't played Rock Band in days!!!!

Please advise. Thank you.


  1. just do what feels right. don't force yourself to comment here or anywhere else. don't sweat the small stuff.

    (omg!! i hope lisa answers me!!!!)

  2. In my humble opinion,it's nice to get a perspective of other bloggers by visiting their sites. It's very easy to get in a fishbowl without venturing out and visiting people on your follow list, at least occasionally.

  3. well, I'll be flat out selfish and say that I would prefer a visit than me come here and try and find your response to my comment in the 100 responses there might be to your posts! and besides, I know you read your comments so I know you have read what I said to there you go, girlie, whatcha' gonna do now?

    and I love you no matter if you respond or not! I'd comment anyway.

  4. As one of the small blog proprietors (weekly views 75, weekly comments 2), I have to admit that I like the comments best. Most people email or facebook me or tell me in person if they have a comment, which is so much less genteel than letting me receive the comment email. Like the way a handwritten anything stands out in a pile of junk mail, that's how blog comment notifications seem in the inbox.

  5. I do agree with Summer. I love when I find a comment has been left. I rarely revisit a post after I have commented to even know if a response has been left there.

    I will read you one way or the other, though, so focus on what you need to do.

  6. Lisa, what a timely post! I came over with a big lump of guilt in my throat for not getting here sooner and more often. And I see you're dealing with the same frustrations.

    Frankly, I enjoy hearing from you either way. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel a lot like Lisa, too. It's always a big pleasure when you find a minute to breeze by my place, whether or not you leave a comment. (I know a lot of what goes on over there is less pertinent to you than the regular commenters, which is totally fine...)

    Bottom line, though, this blogging business is supposed to be fun and engaging. How's that supposed to happen if it becomes a time-consuming obligation? I say do what feels most enjoyable for you at any given moment. Some days I just want to hang out at my place and answer my readers. Other days I want to get away and wander through the Nets, leaving bread-crumb comments all over the place. With all of us saddled with so much we have to do, we owe it to ourselves to spend our time online on things that are fun to do.

  7. Both are good. I am a man-whore for comments and I also like it when people respond to comments I leave.

    But ... If time is short I would much prefer that you concentrate on blogging - telling stories and other amusing things, rather than appeasing us by responding and/or commenting. After all, the blog is meant to be *your* release, not necessarily our ego tool.

  8. I say read and write.

    You are a writer and as they said in Throw Moma for at Train: "A Writer Writes, Always." Focus on writing your blog. As long as I've know you you've been a reader and I am sure you'll continure. Now - write for yourself.

  9. write for yourself first. respond to my comment--not needed really. come see me, I like it but I understand when other things happen.

  10. I say do what fits your time constraints at the moment. Of course I want you to read my measly, frivolous, fluffy blog, but I totally understand that you have only so much time to share with your 100+ followers that I'm just glad to hear from ya!

    More important and MOST paramount is that you KEEP BLOGGING! I come here each day to see what lovely gem you have unearthed for us. Don't ever stop. MMMUAHHH! (That's a smooch!)

    I hope the added responsibilities also mean more money, or at least more job security.

    Have a great Friday !

  11. Which is more gratifying to you?
    that you are happy and the mathman and the kids are as well

  12. Yeah - what they said. Write for you first, then I'd pick a visit to read my post and drop me a line than replying to mine on yours. As Linda said, we know you read them. AND as she said, we love you and will come and read and comment anyway.

    Love is not measured in comments left or the regularity of the visits made. So chill, woman.

    Now if I can just take this advice myself... (I mean everything except the "woman" part).

  13. Don't burn yourself out trying to please everyone. I am happy knowing you drop by once in a while - and you don't even have to comment. I have ways...I will always know when you have tiptoed across the page. With tax season upon me..I am trying my best to get a post in a day, and that may be hard. So if I miss a day - I know I will return. Just keep on plugging along.

  14. Have you noticed that Steve is one of the best commenters around? I completely agree with what he said. Make yourself happy first. You have no obligation to any of us. We come because we're a bunch of voyeurs and love the life you let us share. You let us in in a way no one else does. I'm completely addicted. Have I ever missed a day? Now I'm going to go visit Mathman while you're out of town.

  15. Write here. We will be here. Comment when you can, when you want. It's all good.

  16. You're on your knees before me (us), asking how to keep me (us) happy?????

    Does Mathman know anything of this totally selfless, and quite un-necessary act?

  17. Since you are one of the only people who reads my site and comments i will selfishly hope you continue that. also I am the worst at responding to comments so I get that whole thing!

  18. Screw responding, I did it and it feels sooooo good. I'd rather see you comment on other blogs even if you never comment on mine anymore, he whined.

  19. It looks like it might be unanimous--#1, write here. #2, visit us. #3. comment at our places. #4. respond to comments here.

    Before all of that, be happy in your life with Mathman and the Shiftless Spawn and the Pussies for Peace.

  20. Well I like a visit now and again and a comment. Thanks for the recent ones.

    But I know what its like to be busy and not be able too.

  21. Do whatever works for you. It's your life, not ours.

  22. Can't say more than what's been said so well already. Just do what feels right, I'll be here reading and commenting regardless.

  23. Bloggers need strategies to keep it manageable.
    I keep it down to about 10 blogs daily. These are the best of the best IMHO. I put energy into these blogs because I consider them blog friends. You rank in this esteemed category because you are my new BFF.

    When I leave comments, I don't often remember to go back and check to see if the blogger has responded. So I prefer to see your comments on my blog.

  24. Hey,

    I love it when you come visit me (and I don't always respond, either).

    So don't stop.

    I don't always even check back at sites after responding, unless I specifically ask a question.

    When I woke up this morning (had a long day of travel and no pc time yesterday) I had over 450 entries in my Google RSS Feeder Page. Most times, I just scroll through them, but I have a section called "My Favorite Blogs" which I give special attention to.

    That's Why is found in that section.


  25. As a blogger I feel for me personally that I do not need to have my comments responded to directly when I leave them on any blogs I visit.

    Selfishly though I do love it when others visit my shabby little shack of a blog and leave me a comment when I write something worthwhile which is not very often.

    No matter where you write I will follow as your posts have a way of keeping me intrigued and thinking. For that I am always grateful.

  26. Dang if I know how they do it.

    We don't actually do any work at work. Duh.

    Anything that has to do with your blog should take priority. See what happens when you become famous? Muahahahahaha!

    Of course, comments at our places are always welcome, even if they're of the "you suck, bastard!" variety.

  27. I love that you have taken the time to visit my humble abode and say nice things to me... I don't think you have to say nice things when I visit here to say nice things to you... but it is nice if you have time... I drive by and honk...if you have time to wave that's fine...but I understand that is not always do have a life...

  28. Looks like the commenters are all over the map, but it is your life and you control it. You can't please everybody and what's the worse that will happen, some may stop doing their drive-bys??

  29. A for sure.

    It helps me not lurk and honestly after I leave thhe comment for you I don't usally check back on the off chance that you have responded.

    So A is my vote.


  30. I love comments on my blog, b/c I am notified immediately via email, but I'm also happy with reading through your comments. Do what is convenient and easy for you. :)

  31. I'm pretty much totally aligned with Tim on this question. I will add, though, that I always read the comments people leave for me. On the other hand, even though I also have feed and provide clean clothes for demanding children, I don't have a full-time job!

    I will also emphasize (and others have said this, too) blogging should be FUN. There are enough responsibilities in life.

  32. I think Pissed in New York said it well: It's all good. Do what you can do and remember we are still here for you!

    I agree with the others who have said that blogging is supposed to be fun, not a responsibility or something to feel guilty about. Don't get me wrong, if I don't post for a few days I do start getting that guilty feeling so I know what you mean. ;-)

    Just keep us posted that you're doing fine and are just busy when you don't post or visit as much and I think that's what matters. The worst thing in the world is if a blogger just stops blogging and never explains it. I always worry then.

  33. I'm selfish. I like comments, but it's your time and your life.

  34. Be well. Keep smiling. Visit when you can. No obligations :-)

  35. People pleasing.

    Keep that shit up and the people who are the most important to you will end up hating you.

  36. Tim and Bee and all the others said it well--

    I love a visit, and I love to visit you, too, and if you can comment on my, great, and if worries. Life is sooo busy sometimes, and you just don't have time for everything. I guess that was your point in the first place.

    Blogging is about fun and expressing yourself and making community. Don't worry about pleasing us--your writing does that well enough. Blog without obligation. We will still eagerly read your posts.


  37. Lisa, you are the most amazing woman I have ever known. I can't imagine how you find time to compose an interesting, entertaining blog post, every single day, no matter what. And now, you are fretting over whether your comments are pleasing all your legions of virtual friends.

    To answer your question, I have to say, no matter how selfish it may sound, that it always makes me happy to find a comment from "Lisa" on my blog. I was especially touched by your very thoughtful comments on my recent "diary" post. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    That being said, I agree with the other commenters here, that you should think of yourself and your family first, and not over-extend yourself. Just do what you are comfortable with. We will love you, no matter what.

  38. You were one of my first commenters, so of course I love still seeing you over at my place. But you're so popular and stuff now, I don't know how you find the time to visit us all. I can barely find the time to post or comment myself, so I don't feel right making any requests!

  39. I like your comments on my blog. I believe the very first person to comment on my very first post, was you.

    I don't always get to respond to every comment, either. If someone asks a question I almost always answer it. If someone makes a particularly interesting or funny comment, I almost always have to respond. I can no longer respond to each and every comment anymore.

    I do try to go out to see the blogs of the people who took the time to visit mine. To me, a return visit seems like a nicer compliment than a response they may never read.

    And yes, you are loved and appreciated whether you come by my blog or not; whether you respond to my comment or not. It's about enjoying what people have to offer and not always about reciprocation. Though to reciprocate does feel nice, both ways.

  40. I love it when you come to visit and weigh in on whatever I've written.

    Don't bother to respond to this!! Just keep coming over to see me when you have a chance.


  41. I'm late, see what a pain I am?? I've been awful about reading and commenting lately too........ugh. I almost always read, but some days commenting too comes slower.

    I'm selfish as others have admitted, I'd rather you comment my blog, as I dont' go back to see if you comment the comments. Gosh I must be slacking because I rarely do that on my blog.

    I just enjoy any interaction with you Lisa!


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