Monday, March 16, 2009

Good News Sprinkled with Sick


Oh for Cliff's sake. I've been infected by some mysterious bug that's left me achy, feverish and exhausted to the point where I'm so tired I don't even want to surf porn even though I'm home alone. People of the Internets, this is serious.

I'm no doctor, but I know it's not the influenza. I didn't get the shot for it this year because I thought I'd take a pass on that illness this year. I've never quite understood the appeal of the flu anyway, but whatever. If all those people want to get it, let them have the shots. Me? Not interested.

I could also be suffering from an adverse reaction to cleaning supplies since we went to the new house and gave it a middling scrub down before we start moving in. It was actually in great shape, but you know me - if I haven't doused it with bleach, scrubbed it with something abrasive and made it shine with the bluey ammonia goodness of Target's version of Windex, I'm not satisfied that it's clean.

So yes, there is good news and more good news. As MathMan puts it, we have new digs. There will be a new Golden Manor. Details coming shortly.

The second bit of good news is that on Friday I discovered the power of fucking around. Truly, I did. I'd made that arduous climb once again across the gear shift and console to climb out of my car's passenger's side door because the driver's side door was still mysteriously stuck. I'd become quite inured to the stares of strangers so as I did my quick moves up, over, across and out so I just ignored the astonished stares of the woman across from me at the gas station. She smirked a little as I sighingly flicked my hair out of my eyes and went about the business of pumping gas.

I stood there silently cursing the sloooooow pump and decided that I'd had enough of this car door nonsense. I fished the ignition key out of my jeans pocket and inserted into the lock. I turned, jiggled and wiggled it while tugging on the door handle. When the door actually gave way and opened with a pop, I jumped back and let out a little yelp of surprise. Now I didn't care who was looking as I did "Door goes open, door goes shut. Door goes open, door goes shut." and clapped by hands with glee.

After the gas finished it's slow dribble into my car's tank and the meter read "full," I happily got into the car using the driver's side door, closing it behind me and opening and shutting it three or four times in astonished wonder.

As MathMan so indelicately put it, though, it seems as if I've broken up with my gear shift. Oh, well. I'm overjoyed at not having to contort myself wildly each time I get in and out of the wretched vehicle. Oh, the simple pleasures in life.

So for now, I'll just sit here fighting the crud or ague or whatever it is. While the laptop burns vent marks into my legs, I'm testing out the healing properties of DVR recordings of British murder mysteries, copious pots of tea (PG Tips - thank you, my friend!) and those delightful lemon biscuits sent by Bee. I may be sick and tired, but I can manage to munch a few biscuits to keep up my strength. I'm also enjoying the companionship of a couple of cats who think that having cat butt in my face is a tonic for whatever ails me. They are dead wrong.

Will be posting nauseatingly boring pictures of the new Golden Manor soon. We're handling all the necessaries now - transferring utilities, getting television and telephone services sorted out and making sure that we'll actually have high-speed internet for a lovely change.

As for you lot, be well. Really. Because this thing, though an excuse to blog in bed, just sucks.
That's why.

44 comments:

  1. Not interested in surfing for porn when you're all alone? Damn, you must be sick! Get well soon!

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  2. Huh.

    Cat butt isn't sovereign for all ills?

    Yay (again) for New Golden Manor!!!!

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  3. Actually, achy, tired, and feverish are classic influenza symptoms. The influenza they give shots for is an upper respiratory infection that most people will think is a bad cold when they get it; it's not the stuff most people refer to as "flu," the various types of enteritis that involve lots of dashing to the john.

    Try some chicken broth or channel your inner Jane Austen and have some calf's foot jelly (aka Jello) -- tea's a diuretic so could aggravate dehydration. And stay warm.

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  4. Can't WAIT to see the new digs. Feel better soon. I can't believe how much "ague" is going around here. My friends all are getting sick over and over, and I have horrible allergies although haven't for many years prior.

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  5. Ahem. Stately Golden Manor. You have not been studying your Batman.

    Regards,

    Tengrain

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  6. Feel better soon.. you will need all your feel good in order to move.. I am sorry you feel badly though.. wish I had the magic pill.. but I am sorely lacking in that regard.

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  7. So sorry you've got the crud. It does sound like flu, which is definitely not what you need when you are about to move. Take lots of vitamins along with Nan's broth and Jello. When you're feeling up to it, a nice bit of steak and mashed potatoes was always my family's cure. The protein will help you build your strength again.

    Don't work to hard with the move. Let the kids do the heavy lifting while you supervise. Isn't that what they're for anyway?

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  8. I don't blame you for passing on the flu shots. I have noticed that most years when I have gotten a flu shot, I got the flu. This year I didn't and so far have not had the flu. Drink plenty of liquids and it you get a nasty cough, I recommend Southern Comfort.
    As for the car door, the linkage was probably stuck and you jiggled and beat on it enough for it to move.

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  9. I left you along thoughtful and sympathetic comment, but the fucking google doesn't recognize me and makes me re up. It's like the monthly curse. WTF? Anyway, it was really good. I'm telling you it was one of my best comments EVER! But you'll never really know will you?

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  10. I happen to think that new pictures of Stately Golden Manor will be VERY exciting. Feel better!

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  11. Hot lemonade - I'm telling you - it works like a charm. Wish I could pop round and fluff up your pillows and make a thermos full of hot stuff for you.
    What is it with cat butt anyway? Gah, I hate when they do that.

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  12. Can I bring you some Chicken Soup? Get well soon! Congrats on getting the new digs settled.

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  13. Sorry you're under the weather.... I'm sure one of the spawn brought it home to you!

    Congrats on the new digs... YAY!!!

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  14. I am sorry you sick. You will get better. I hope you a speedy recovery.
    What is Really Healthy-Health Blog
    Humor & Fun World-Funny Blog

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  15. Look for the positive here: Weight loss!

    Your annie-rexic wannabe,
    Scandy

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  16. Glad you found a new place and I'm really glad you don't have to wiggle in and out of your car anymore.

    I recommend lots of bed rest with family fawning on you hand and foot. Yeah, right. So get better soon dear.

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  17. Score:

    Sick, cat butts, lady sniggers at the gas station... 16 for the enemy.

    New digs, cleaning done, car door opening, tea and lemon biscuits, blogging in bed... 25 for your side.

    Even with the sick, it looks like an up tick for Team Golden.

    Hope you are feeling better soon. Let me know if you want me to mat the CD Cover to some particular size... I'd be happy to make it as simple (and inexpensive) as possible for you.

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  18. They say breaking up is hard to do and that shift won't give in easily since - every morning, the hand and all.

    I hope you feel better tomorrow that today.

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  19. Sending you love and virtual chicken noodle soup. Thanks for the good news. I am so impressed by your "can-do" spirit.

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  20. crap...this is not the time to get sick and all. You are probably just "worn down" from all you have had to accomplish lately. Recup soon - and then get cracking.

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  21. i hope you and your gear shift can at least remains friends

    and that you feel better soon

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  22. I'm sorry you're still ailing, my sweet. But glad to hear the good good news you had to share! I'm excited to hear about the new digs!

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  23. A car door that opens AND closes - do miracles every cease??

    Never saw pics of your current digs, so looking forward to you being a good hostess this time around.

    Feel better.

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  24. I'm sorry you're down with the ague, but I'm glad that it has not kept you from tea. The most intolerable part of stomach bugs is the lack of tea.

    I wish I trusted myself enough to watch Poirot and Miss Marple in bed, but, alas, I think I would roll over and kick my laptop off. I'm sure AppleCare warranties don't cover "tumped off bed" computer injuries.

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  25. That is exactly why I don't clean! I will be printing out this post for my household to read :)

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  26. You'll know it's flu if the muscles in your back and the back of your limbs ache like they have never ached before. Odd symptom, but there it is.
    As for the car door miraculously fixing itself? Maybe it's a sign. Just saying.
    And congrats on the new digs.

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  27. Hmmm...Sounds like "the thing that's going around," which tends to have flu-lik symptoms and goes away in a few days. Sometimes. Stay hydrated, stay in bed, enjoy the mysteries (have you got Midsomer Murders? Somewhat clockwork, but satisfying), and reflect on the fact that at least while you're sick, Gatorade will taste good.

    Feel better soon, Lisa.

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  28. You just make me laugh, lady!! :) I was sick today, too...feeling better now, but ready to go to bed soon in order to actually go to work tomorrow. (Sigh....) By the way, I lost it at your "cat butt" comment--LOL! :)

    Feel better! :)

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  29. I'm delighted to hear Golden Manor will be renewed en tout. Happy days and soon you'll be out of bed or back in moaning rather than groaning.

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  30. Great news about your new place, Lisa, and the car door! Sorry to read that you're under the weather, though, bless your heart. Hope you are feeling better with the sunrise!

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  31. I laughed out loud at this post. Visions of you opening and shutting the car door as people watched - a look of bemusement on their faces. I'm still laughing. Good luck with your new home xxx

    PS: get well soon:)

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  32. What is it about cats and cat-butts?!!

    Seriously though, try Airborn. (or is it AirBourne?) It does work and be sure to partake in lots of H2O. K. always says sex cures EVERYTHING, but I'm skeptical...

    Anyway, get well quick, and just know I am so in your corner on this moving thing. It's no fun; but once it's over, you have a new chapter to embark upon!

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  33. how lovely, lisa and family!! you are finally moving into your new place, i think that's exciting so get well quick..if i had lemon cookies with tea and milk, i'd get better faster....lots of water with lemon is good too, warm water...hot baths, showers, sleep late and think good thoughts....get those kids busy cleaning!! with the blue stuff!! YAY!!!

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  34. Congrats on the new Golden Compound, condolences on the unhealthypants. must be a virus goin through the tubes as EB Misfit and Onery Bastard are afflicted as well. Far as I can tell the porn sites are unaffected.

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  35. So sorry you're sick, but hot wiskey! Make sure it is Powers or some other Irsh wiskey. By now the porn gene should be kicking back in. So, this comes from cleaning the house. I promised my mom I would keep the house clean, but now I have an excuse. Been three weeks and I haven't done any cleaning yet.
    Congrats on the new Golden Manor! Can't wait to see the pics.
    MaryCatholic

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  36. I hope you feel better dear. And I agree with anonymous... hot whiskey!

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  37. Bad about the flu thing and the cat butt; good about the NEW HOUSE AND THE CAR DOOR!!

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  38. Sounds as if you have what my mother used to call "la grippe." The good news is, it does go away a lot quicker than influenza. Feel better!

    Congratulations on the new digs and on your magically opening car door!

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  39. poor sick angel........get better NOW !!!!!

    Lisa xx

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  40. gee, no porn. wow! feel better.

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  41. Not so fast, young lady! Cat butt in the face may be just what the doctor ordered.

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