Sunday, March 22, 2009

Heard Around Golden Manor


The soon to be Former Golden Manor, that is....

Setting - MathMan and I sitting at the blogging ops desk, facing each other, laptops glowing on our faces.

Me: I was just looking at my Facebook friend list and assigning my friends to groups. I think I could actually have a list for people I've slept with dated.
MathMan: I think I could, too. I mean - I could have a list of my friends that you've slept with dated.

Help me, Rhonda. It's true. There's been some, um, overlap in our lives.

Setting - MathMan and I sitting at the blogging ops desk, facing each other, laptops on. I'm distracted, looking out the window next to the desk. I spy the outside cat Pyewacket. MathMan is staring at his laptop.
Background - There's been some discussion with neighbors about leaving Pyewacket with them since he's been cheating on all of us and pretending to belong to at least three different households. (As if a cat "belongs" to a household.)

Me (with a sigh): Should we just bring the little guy with us to new neighborhood and hope he adjusts?
MathMan: Yeah, I think we should bring The Actor.
Me: Honey, do we have the option to leave the children behind? Because if we do......
MathMan (cutting me off): I thought you meant should we take The Actor with us to the grocery store.

Dang it. He got my hopes up for a minute there.

I get the distinct impression that MathMan doesn't really listen to me so much when I flap my jaws at him. Perhaps I'll start communicating with him through a serious of burps, baseball signals and finger snaps.

25 comments:

  1. That might work. Sometimes I think M never listens to me until I say something I really don't want him to hear...but, oh yeah he hears every one of those words...

    Have a great Sunday. Gray and rainy here. When is moving day?

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  2. So are you saying the previous belches, farts and other noises were not communiques?

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  3. You are so funny facing such an uncertain and difficult situation. And Saoirse is right about men hearing the things you don't want them to really listen to, but ignore the things you really do want them to listen to. Still, I wouldn't kick Mathman out or leave him with the neighbors. He can balance the checkbook. He is MATHMAN!

    I say put the kids to work in the new neighborhood. Paper route for Garbo, job at the local grocery store for The Actor--he can try to "act happy" about bagging groceries. And The Dancer could probably sell women's clothing or something like that. Give them my proposal for their future, and they'll think you're so much nicer than some other mother might be. Tell them about the old days. If you never lived through the days when kids routinely had jobs at fifteen, give me a call. I'll tell them about the "good old days."

    Maybe it's time for all of us to read some books about the other "Great Depression." It's bad now, but it's going to get worse. Read history, get ready, stop consuming (as much as possible). I think you made such a smart decision to take the less expensive house. And you did it for all the right reasons. Pat yourselves on the back. Then pat mathman on the back for me.

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  4. I have no doubt my DH does not listen to me. It is obvious. But comfortable.

    My mother once had an outdoor tomcat (this was back in the old days when people didn't fix their cats) and when they moved from one side of town to the other he kept going back to the old house; perhaps it was his tomcatness that made him so territorial. Hopefully if you bring your guy he will adjust - just keep him in for awhile after you get there.

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  5. I'm sure if I were married I would listen very attentively to everything my wife had to say.
    really

    hope the move goes well

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  6. Truth is, in my house, Keith only listens to half of what I say but I only listen to a quarter of what he says so it works out.

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  7. I do listen - I heard the whole conversation. I just have trouble with pronouns and whom and what they reference.

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  8. My Facebook worry (not knowing people who want to befriend me) seems minor compared to yours (knowing them rather TOO well). And I thought that Mathman's kissing poll thing was just hypothetical -- or rhetorical -- or something.

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  9. I saw Mathman's comment about pronouns above, and I had to laugh!--Iwanski has the same problem with pronouns! :) It must be common among males.

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  10. I hope you're going to gut that house of all it's saleable fixtures before you leave it.

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  11. Oh!! I like Dr. Monkey's tactic!!!!!

    Yes, in marriages, don't we all come to some sort of aggreements or understandings about things...without saying them out loud? (For better or worse?!)

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  12. Ai yi yi.
    I think Facebook may be Satan's evil invention, designed to destroy the lives of people who over-network.

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  13. This "adventure of the move" is going to be great. I should hope their will be pictures aplenty for us all to enjoy.

    Lucky me, I have no male in the house, with which to converse. After so many years of the one who never listened - it IS a blessing. But I can imagine some of the conversations between you two. Sometimes they are better through blogs & comments. :)

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  14. Finger puppets get the job done, too.

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  15. Semaphore is good too and it lets you get some exercise.

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  16. mine never listens either....but you have a much funnier way of talking about it!

    {btw, lisa, i made some changes and had to fix them but i think it's working now...hopefully...}

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  17. I always threaten to call one of my husband's cop buddies any time I have something important that I need him to know...he'll listen to any of them with bated breath, but he's deaf to the sound of my voice.

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  18. Water balloons make excellent communication tools. Just avoid hitting the cat.

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  19. Or start each sentence with Holy Teenage Titties, my husband always perks up and listens when I say that.

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  20. ...what was that you said, dear?

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  21. Baseball signals work best from this time of the year to about October. However, they can get confusing. Sometimes I don't know if Ang wants me to take out the garbage or steal Second Base. A lot of it is trial and error.

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  22. Oh just leave the Actor behind. He'll adjust.

    Oh wait--I mean, leave the baseball signals behind.

    Or... what? Did you say something?

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  23. You guys need to come up with your own hand signals, or something. :)

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  24. Maybe Mathman should start with amateur nouns for awhile before moving up to the pros.

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