Monday, April 6, 2009

Blah, Blah, Blah, Pretty Much There

Well - just don't look at the garage. We still have some intense reorganizing to do before we can park two cars in there, but I'm confident that we can manage it. Look - I admit it: After ten plus years of schlepping babies, diaper bags, briefcases, class projects, sack lunches, toddlers stuffed into snowsuits and groceries to and from a car parked at the curb in our old Illinois neighborhood, I will not have a garage so stuffed with things that one can't properly park a car in it. That simply will not do.

So we carry on....we are mostly done moving our household. Holy cats, what a process. The packing, the culling, the unpacking, the stabbing comments, the climbing up and down stepladders, the sleepwalking, the confusion when you say the word "home," the hiding for a few moments of peace, the laundry back up, the lack of sleep, repetition of phrases like "Where did I put the....," the dance breaks with and without jazz hands, the shouted threats and muttered oaths, the disappearing wires, screwdrivers and toilet paper and the constant need for someone to announce their current state of being - tired, bored, hungry, horny, weepy, exhausted, sad, hot, cold, achy, gassy, wheezy, overwhelmed and over it. (And that just covers my announcements. You should've heard what issued from MathMan and The Spawn.)

Let's get on with it, shall we? We're nearly done. Nearly done. Nearly done. Like Dorothy clicking her heels three times, I'm hoping that repeating it three times will make it true.

Following is some photographic evidence of our nearly doneness.

Garbo is learning about the pleasure and pain of neighborhood living. She's already been shoved down and scraped up her knees when a friend of the little boy across the street got the better of her in a fight. In retaliation, she's formed an all girl street gang dubbed the Covered Bridge Springs Tarts. I wouldn't mess with them. They fueled on Freezer Pops and Dum Dum suckers.

The laundry room might be my favorite room in the house. It's like the panic room, I swear. I can be in there for a long, long time before anyone finds me.
And, yes, those hangers have been sorted by color. What of it?

XBox Central. It reeks of Axe, Doritos and root beer burps.
Caution: Extremely high testosterone levels may be combustible and
make you misspell words like martyred.

Blogging Operations are nearly complete. Thank goodness.
Not having online access is akin to _____________________.

The Dancer enjoys practicing her sloth on the same sofa in a different living room.

When discussing whether or not to hang the Chinese market silk thing over the toilet again, MathMan announced that he likes looking for the dragons while he pees. That explains a lot.

I give the framed picture on the counter two weeks tops before it's lying shattered on the floor.

P.S. My mother would call my style of decorating "overdoing it."
At least I never decorated in that late 80s "country" style rife with powder blue geese
and mauve pineapples, so there.

We're down to a couple of unpacked boxes of books and the moving around of a desk or two.
And, of course, we need to find a place for the junk drawer. We don't have a junk drawer yet.
It's not a home until there is a junk drawer. That's a rule, right?

I've decided that it's high time The Spawn learn geography.
Now if I can just get them to shower.......

Whenever we move, this is a common MathMan activity.
I think he does this on purpose so he doesn't have to put away spice jars.

I finally stopped shrieking about how much I hate organizing the kitchen around 5:30 p.m. on Saturday. MathMan got involved and things went much faster with two sets of hands.
Now we just need to deal with the ants that have come in through the window over the sink.
Demonstrating once again, it's always something.
P.S. WTF, cabinet installers? Why install cabinets to open in the same direction?
Clearly you've not spent much time in the kitchen, if you think this is efficient.

And finally, when things have settle down, we're treated
to a little something new by MathMan who found a harmonica randomly tossed into some box.

Le fin.......thank goodness.


  1. Things are looking good. How many dragons has mathman spotted?

    What's up with the word vreification?

  2. That looks like a nice place, congratulations.
    Sadly the video says it's no longer available - perhaps because I'm out of the country? Perhaps I need a passport to access it

  3. Youse guys are amazing.... I woulda (oooops, I have) lived out of boxes for months at a time after a move.... (There's a story there, trust me!)

    Congratulations. I hope it feels like home!

    (OMG! You turned word verification back on! Did you mean to?!)

  4. The reason for the kitchen design problems is that men design kitchens and we all know how often men actually cook in the kitchen. Don't tell Mathman I said that.

    I love the tough girls and their kick ass club. This is a great start for the girl who will grow up to rule the world. Tell Garbo I said so.

    The dancer looks just tragic. Practicing your tragic looks is good for the career in dance or film or stage. Or marriage for that matter.

    Doug looks happy with his glob of??? Wires, tangle of extension cords???

    You sound like you have it all under control. The mark of any good organizer. I predict you will be very successful at whatever you need, want or have to do to survive. And with a cheery fuck off just rolling off the tongue like honey.

    I love you dear. Let me know when you're ready to run away and become my next adopted daughter. Don't tell Doug I said that. I'm hoping he'll solve a math problem for me before he gets really mad at me.

  5. It looks wonderful! You must be good at making anyplace a home. You are giving me confidence that moving to a rental is not THAT big of a deal.

  6. The cabinets come with the doors installed. Either somebody ordered the wrong ones or they got installed in the wrong place. Considering the area, it could be either one or both!!

  7. You are getting there.. looks like progress to me. Thanks for keeping us updated..

    Enjoyed the serenade too... Thanks Mathman.

  8. Can you come to Denver and help me? Because I've been in my new house over a month, and as far as I can tell, you're miles ahead of me in terms of unpacking and getting organized. *Sigh*

  9. Nice house. We have the same couches. Costco, right?

  10. 1980's "country style," ewwwww. I hated that powder blue crap and the quilt racks and the whole ten yards. Yuck. Ick. Love that shower curtain!

  11. Side note to Utah, the men you know may not cook much but you're dead wrong if you think all men don't cook.

  12. cool photo angle in the kitchen picture. It looks like the window is a mirror and YET YOU CANNOT BE SEEN! Either, you've actually worked yourself to oblivion or YER A VAMPIRE and you've used your immortal powers to accomplish this much so quickly!!!

    Yup. Those are the only two options.

    So, congratulations on that then!

  13. The dancer looks like she is trying really hard to continue staring straight ahead while you take her picture, without turning and making a face at you.

    Like everyone else, I'm amazed at the progress you've made. Seriously.

  14. I don't have to look for the dragon when I pee . . .

  15. Whoa baby - those cabinets opening that way are like bad feng shui!

  16. I wish you the best in your new digs. I provide you a housewarming gift full of positive thoughts. I'm holding you all in the light.

  17. You all work fast!

    Don't forget celebratory beverages when you're done!

  18. Geoffrey, I tell Lisa it's the dragons but there are boobs on that print.

    I must that I am tired of moving stuff. But tomorrow, I will get more done.

  19. MathMan and Lisa - my Lisa says we are both TMs (typical males). When I told her what I wrote, she gave me the look and head shake that said, "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"


  20. Looks like things are settling in. Garbo's posse look tough! The dancer looks worn out, many men have the need to handle tangles wires and cords, I'd give up.
    Glad that blogging room is looking up, missed you!

  21. Can you find Waldo on that shower map?

  22. I've lived in my home for 8 years now and you have more unpacked boxes than I do.

  23. Sorting hangers, by color or otherwise might indicate you have a problem....I know, as I do it as well.
    You can fix the cabinet door by rotating it 180 degrees....of couse the handle will now be close to the ceiling.....don't thank me, it's a gift.

  24. Wow! It looks fantastic! Once again proving your astounding powers or organization.

    And how come the Dancer still looks so fucking elegant just lounging on a couch? Unfair, unfair.

  25. I love the Video!!!!! Mathman just about won my heart with that harmonica rendition was it he was playing anyway? ;)

    The hangers sorted by color made me cackle like a crazy person...but a quiet space is needed by everyone..that's why my office door has a lock on it..that only works from the inside.

  26. Color me impressed. You got a lot done. So this coming weekend will be your weekend of rest, no?

  27. its looking pretty good sweet girl- maybe you can rest over easter- kick the dancer off that beautiful lounge for a while.
    you deserve a chardonnay xx

  28. Dragon boobs? that girl gang can kick some ass!

  29. Cool pics and it looks pretty comfortable but what about love tub? Saving that for a special post, are you?

    I always pack our junk drawer in a clear plastic bag because you can be damn sure there's something in there you'll need the first day.

    I have a feeling a whole new world is opening for Garbo's new friends. Covered Bridge Springs Tarts! Hah!

  30. The kitchen cabinets that open in the same direction would drive me NUTS! Who was the brainiac who thought THAT was a good idea? :)

  31. Welcome home, Lisa. I hope it's a good place for all of you. Love.

  32. Looks like it is coming together. I hate moving. We have that problem in our garage. Too much stuff. This spring we are cleaning it out so both cars can fit in it.

    Check went out on Sunday. My desktop computer went out - new motherboard the genius says. Thank goodness for the laptop.And I went home sick from work. Bad cough. May do it again tomorrow.

    Have a peaceful night.

  33. I must admit: I kinda like the shower curtain! Most of all, I have to confess that after three years of living in Alaska, we still can only wedge a motorcycle into our 2 car gar-age!

    You guys are amazing!

  34. Did you really have to go with the Mercator projection on that shower curtain?

    As a fellow dude, I fully support Mathman and his untangling of cords for hours and hours.

  35. I am so impressed with your management skills. It appears everything is coming together rapidly. The new place looks great. I will take the bet on the picture on the bathroom counter though! Garbo and her street thugs are looking good too. I found the easiest move I ever made was in 1984 - when I lost everything in a fire - pick out a house and buy new and have it delivered! I couldn't tackle a project like moving anymore - my body hurts just thinking about such a chore. Your updates have been great!

  36. Those kitchen cabinets are something else! I suspect the logic is that both sides open from your side when you are putting things away from the sink. Since they have that darned center stile between the doors anyway, there's no point putting anything bigger than one side in there.

    Do whatever it takes to get rid of those ants, PRONTO! Otherwise they'll soon be into the cat food, and then they'll call all their friends to move in with you.

    Congrats on the move. I wish I had the gumption to do it myself.

  37. Also, thumbs up to Mathman on his rendition of The Mover's Lament!

  38. When we move, my husband does almost nothing but sort through his box of wires and cords. I don't know why he has so many, but he does.

    The neighborhood girl gang looks fierce!

  39. The little girls shirt says "Save the Humans". Ha! Too late.


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