Adventures in Real Parenting: Trivial Pursuits

I am supposed to be ironing.

Ironing is of the utmost importance at the moment because there is a very busy week in store for us here at Golden Manor. Knowing that, I could really use the comfort and meditation of ironing.

Since it's already 10:53 p.m. and I have to get to work early tomorrow for a drive to the north Georgia mountains with my boss, it's rather unlikely that I'll get to iron much. Thank goodness MathMan had the forethought to grab some blueberry scones today at the grocery store so we can have something to go with the coffee that won't be left sitting on the counter when we go blazing out of the house in the very early a.m., shouting instructions to the still half-asleep spawn over our shoulders.

MathMan knows that feeding me carbs in the early morning will keep me from gnawing on his arm as we drive.

The Spawn will be so morning dreary that I predict we'll be on I75 before we get our first unpleasant call from one of them. I'll be driving so I can leave it to MathMan to referee. He's much better with tears than I am anyway.


Despite the morning difficulties and the ongoing jockeying for most preferred child status, it's really not all bad. Last night, we even managed to have family game night and not a single punch was thrown. There were no pistols at dawn nor monkey knife fights. It helps, of course, when the parents remember to put away all the sharp objects before they commence getting totally lit.......

His alter-ego.....

The evening actually took shape in a rather organic way. We tossed around the idea of a movie, but that just seemed too passive for some of us. When The Dancer brought up the idea of playing Trivial Pursuit, we just went with it. I was a bit astonished, frankly, when The Actor wanted to join in. Lately, it's hard to disconnect him from his XBox.

So there we were, being all wholesome and shit. It was a real Norman Rockwell moment for the Goldens......

In a strange twist of events, I swept the first game, getting the easiest questions. I won with an ease and speed that was a bit spooky. So we played a second game and the alcohol must have kicked in because I was no longer be-boppin' and scattin' my way to Trivial Pursuit stardom. In fact, it seemed I couldn't answer a single question correctly, not even using the old fall back answers Josef Stalin or The SALT Talks.

Nevertheless, I was able to offer my expertise to each child at some point, taking care to help each of them the exact same number of times so that there would be no screeching about who I loved the most. Besides, they all know deep down the answer would be a major disappointment because it's one of the cats.

I did go too far, though, in attempting to help Garbo a second time which would make it one time too many according to the other children. I immediately knew the answer to her question and after watching her struggle for a couple of minutes, I leaned over and whispered as quickly and quietly as possible. She took a deep breath and gave her answer...."Mrs. Vinyl Tap."

Close, but no cigar........


P.S. Busy couple of days coming. I won't be around, but I hope you'll go visit my pals on the blog roll. See you soon......