Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Pensieve

I know, I'm a shit. I tell you I'll be here on Wednesdays and now my writing is happening somewhere else right now and I won't even show it to you.

My apologies. This is my serious face. This is what happens when I finally stop goofing around and thinking about doing stuff and just do it. And for the record, so far, the story is going well.

But there's so much I want to tell you. There's the blow out I had with Nate. Major. Later, when he was sure it wouldn't result in physical violence, MathMan told me that watching was like that scene in Brighton Beach Memoirs. I'm not sure who was the workhorse and who was the pretty one, but the point is we both felt like we weren't getting what we needed from each other. The argument was cathartic and now we seem to be closer than ever.

This being a mom gig is so not my thing and yet......well, I love them and they love me and want to be around me anyway. I don't get it, but I'm glad for it (mostly).

Then there's Chloe who has put me in the unfortunate role of sounding like my own mother who once, upon having had enough of my tearful pleas to pleeeeeeease be fetched from Ball State and taken back home where I belonged, said to my father "Do not answer that phone or I'll kneecap you." You see, Chloe is having some transition issues and I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the nest kicking at her every time she tries to fly back in and rest her troubled soul. My poor darling. I want to fix things for her, but that's not my job or role now. And it hurts.

There's Sophia who's not off the rails but who is coming into her own and she's different from both siblings. She's artistic and sensitive and smart, but there are just some things she doesn't care about. Until it's too late, that is. Let me just say that playing Good Cop/Bad Cop with Mathman starring in the Bad Cop role during our parent/teacher/principal conference last week was interesting. So far it seems to have been effective, as well.

Also - were I to have the chance, I would love to say sweetly to the smiling teacher that it's bad form to lecture a parent about all the resources available online only to have that parent discover that you have not, in fact, put those notes on the web. Unhelpful.

Work is work. Writing is where my heart is. I want a passport. I want gigantic piles of money. I want a cabana boy who can vacuum better than I can and who loves to fold laundry. I want world peace and for average Americans to understand that we're all fucked as long as money controls our elections.

Veering back.....I want to have the cats laminated after they are de-fleaed. I want more time for everything. I want to drive up I85 without dodging dead deer parts. I just realized that I look like I'm dressed for a funeral today. Oh the irony. I want the passenger side window of the car to stop sounding like a wind tunnel. I want my friend Diane to start writing some of those stories she tells me. The one about the old guy who asked his daughter to take him to he doctor for a prescription for viagra so he can up the fun quotient of his visits with his girlfriend in the nursing home deserves to written, don't you think?

I joined the gym. I am going to get so fit it will only seem natural that when I keel over of a heart attack people can say "Well, how ironic, when she was fat and thought an ice cream and Oreo lunch with an M&M chaser was a bright idea, she was in great health."

Until next Wednesday,

Lisa


Oh yeah......

23 comments:

  1. All I can say is "Yes" to all of the above. and also, where do you find these vids? and also, when you're done with the cabana boy, send him up north.

    peace, sister

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  2. No need to waste time building a lovely corpse, save the money from the gym for booze and chocolate. I could never figure out "a lot" or "alot" either....or is it "ither"....or "as well". Guess that's why I'm not righting (sic) a book! You go girl!

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  3. your life sounds a bit crazy right now and then this too...

    dodging dead deer parts

    somehow that sounded so dreadful to me, like the cherry on top of a very bad month or year or decade or you live in the wrong place...we could even take it as a sign but i digress...may i say it is good to read you again? :)

    ...although the girls and son are making you crazy as is your funereal garb, on the other hand, how lovely you and son are speaking well...which is bound to piss off little missy even more but can't win, can we, no we can't...i am here to tell you that, a parent is not meant to win, a parent is meant to somehow survive intact long enough to watch their kids have kids and pull their hair out while you sit on a beach....where's my beach i want to ask.

    kisses... ♥

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  4. when you advertise for teh cabana boy please consider my resume!

    change aint easy on a family is it? I guess all I have to add to that is if you are lucky everything comes back together better and stronger afterwards.

    And if you want a piece of advice from my Mom when the yung'ns go off to school all you have to say is "You'll never live in this house again!" LOL (but she meant it the darn woman)

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  5. I love the title 'Bite for Bite: NOT a Vampire Story' and the synopsis sounds a little familiar, non? But we write what we know and what we understand about what we know once we're old enough to get a handle on realizing we don't really know anything is a good place to write from. Your stats are pretty impressive and I do hope you'll share the novel to someplace where we can read it once the month is over. I'm so proud and happy to know you.

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  6. Different players, but I'm in a similar place. The time flies and I look back and try to see what I've accomplished and sometimes I don't see much. Good luck with the writing.

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  7. Careful with the exercise, my neighbor UP on the Tundra dropped dead while on his treadmill!!

    I always liked the line, "Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids."

    As for dodging dead deer parts, they must be slow in getting 'critter du jour'.

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  8. You just scared the hell out of me. I'm going to go see if I can score some ice cream. Bonne chance with the writing - you better fucking share it or I'll send John Boehner to your house - and the *chuckles* parenting. I laugh because I care.

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  9. Are the maggots gone? I'm only coming back here if the maggots are gone.

    I see Randal is still here.

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  10. You are getting things done and that is good all around. Do I miss reading you all the time? You bet! But I am prepared to make that sacrifice if you accomplish this novel writing. I know you are really impressed with my dedication to your cause!
    :)

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  11. Get back to the novel. Git! How'm I supposed to brag about my friend the bestselling novelist if you're going to hang around here and not write your book? Back to work!

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  12. Phew! Your plate is F U L L. Hang in there.
    xo

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  13. The gym has really proven to be a stress-reliever and structure point for med. At first, I hated every single minute I was on the elliptical and the weight routine, but now if I miss it even a day I feel cranky.

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  14. You will have gigantic piles of money if you keep up the writing :)...and then you will remember your friend in Chicago who encouraged you. *smiles*

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  15. I am so in the same
    place with our youngest. And my older daughter was so unhappy her first semester - it does get better and she will work it all out. You are right to leave it up to her - hard as it is on your heart.

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  16. you write on wednesday
    i ready on sundays

    days of future passed

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  17. Well it sounds like you're not going to be back on twitter flirting back with me.

    I'm glad the writing's going so well. I think I'm making progress too. Just posted a short story on the blog. And just sent 3 poems and 1 short story to Reed Magazine. But I can't remember which story. I'm all about the editing but record keeping and house cleaning are not high on my skill set.

    Give Mathman a big wet kiss for me. Say HI! to the kids.

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  18. Wow. I'm seriously behind with my reading here. Great to hear about the novel. I always knew you had one (or more) in you.

    Regarding Chloe: it's hard to let them fend for themselves when they're away at college. They get used to it, though, and so do we. As a junior in college now, SG2 is ready to be on her own - wants to spend next summer in Boston, instead of coming home as usual.

    Come by Pagan Sphinx and say hi sometime! Actually, there's not much there of late but it would be nice to see you anyway! :-)

    Hugs,
    Gina

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  19. Laminating cats is actually far more difficult than it sounds. It usually ends poorly and involves Blue Cross. We missed you at the Americans United for Separation of Church and State Annual Blogger Meet-Up! :o)

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  20. The whole first few weeks of college is tough for just about everyone but the most jaded kids. Chloe just needs to adapt and find herself in the social structure of her school. Might I suggest Tom Wolfe's "I Am Charlotte Simmons?" I think it should be required summer reading for any incoming college frosh.

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  21. So are you getting down to the wire with the novel? tick, tick, tick..

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  22. susan - I'm at 41,500 words and I still have over half the month to go. It feels very, very good.

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