Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sick or Depressed?
Or same thing?
Something has rendered me quiet (except for the complaining), chock full of the mehs, and feeling like doing nothing at all. Or at least nothing productive. Even my cherished act of ironing - the domestic engineering equivalent of Xanax, isn't working it's typical magic today.
The fun has even been taken out of comfort food. Chloe, the Dancer, has taken up her post next to the kitchen door and I can feel her silently judging me as I drift in and out of there hunting for something to make me feel right again. I know that she looks at my growing ass and thinks "dear lord, is that what I have to look forward to?" right before she starts clearing her throat and throwing disdainful glances at my bowl of ice cream or glass of soda or that Duggar-Family sized bag of cheese doodles I'm pulling in the wagon behind me.
Nothing tastes right, I'd really rather just sleep, passively watch old movies or kinda sorta read. And there's this nagging sense that I should be doing something. It's an internal nag, not an external one. Except for the moment when MathMan very sweetly wondered aloud if I'd be joining him at the gym today, I damn near took his head off in a most unpleasant growl "Did you not just hear me say I don't feel like doing anything?" I hit almost every word in that sentence so hard for emphasis that I don't even know where to place the italics.
I'm sorry MathMan. As if you need a grump of a wife to deal with now.
So my question is out there - sick or depressed? Please discuss. Before I make another attempt at the ironing, I'm going to don a disguise and sneak into the kitchen for some pudding. I think there's whipped cream, too.......