Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's a Gas, Gas, Gas....

Good morning.  I'm sitting here bracing for an exhilarating shower while you're sitting there all snug in your office, kitchen, bedroom, parents' basement, bomb shelter, right?

The Goldens didn't pay their gas bill on time.  Talk about nasty surprises.

We discovered this bad bit of business last night when Chloe tried to make some pasta on the uncooperative stovetop.  Tick tick tick, IGNITE! go out. 

So perhaps it's no surprise at all.  It would help if we'd gotten some sort of disconnect notice, though.

As it was, we each had all night to consider the back to nature joys of a cold shower.  I believe Joan Crawford was a fan of the cold shower.  Better for the skin and all that....

Not that I want to use Joan Crawford for a role model or anything.  I mean, there was that questionable business with the wire hangers and she was a fan of Pepsi, not Coke.  Here in Georgia, Co'Cola is the state drink (with or without the moonshine chaser).

Because perspective is of the utmost importance, I shall think about how this little speck of trouble fits into the broad scheme of human experience.  This is when I roll out the Pioneer Living Scale with 1 being "I'm not whining about a minor inconvenience, I'm simply noting that I've noticed the difference between now and then" to 10 being "At least we don't have to dig a hole in the meadow where we can bury our dead." So this is what?  A 1?  Maybe a 2?  Nah, a 1.  It's a cold shower, for heaven's sake, not an amputation or the roof of the lean-to caving in during a blizzard in June.

It could be worse, of course.  It could always be worse.  My soap is not made of lye and fat butchered from my favorite cow and, what's more, when I've toweled off and turned back to pink from blue, I'll just stroll right back into my well-appointed home office and be grateful that I won't have to waste fifteen minutes surfing porn (to take the edge off, you know) before my mind is clear so I can get busy writing.


How was your shower today?


  1. You never know how much you rely upon and need things until they are no longer there.

    Cold showers are for the birds I think.

    So you feel clear headed now you say!

  2. If you just show a little patience, you can take a oil and dispersant bath that traveled over 1,000 miles to get to you, courtesy of BP, Transocean, Halliburton and the Bush/GOP appointees at MMS.

    When the temperature in my room tops 100 in three or four months, I will love an occasional cold shower.

  3. Would it help if I said mine was freezing, too?

  4. Sounds fairly miserable Lisa. Sorry that you are having these troubles. Life can be shitty, but then, in ten years, these become the funny stories. Not much comfort now I know. Am thinkin' boutcha!

  5. I haven't had any time to even take a shower yet today!

    And yes, I have to agree with you, Coca Cola is WAY better than Pepsi!

  6. I thought it was all Co'Cola, like R C Co'Cola and even 7Up Co'Cola.

    As for the shower, you could do like I did UP on the Tundra. Get a solar shower rig and after the sun heats it hang it from a tree. Just make sure it's where the neighbors can't see you. Wouldn't want to shock them, then again, why not??

  7. Oh, how I detest a cold shower.

    Great writing, Lisa. So enjoyable. :-)

  8. Yikes is right, Dr. MVM.
    You're so right, Liberality. We've been testing our mettle. 2 weeks ago it was water, this week the gas...let's just hope we don't get to see what it's like to be without phones or electricity next week.
    TomCat, yuck! And if it gets to 100 here, I'd look forward to the refreshing briskness of a cold one.
    Randal, that would help immensely.
    Thank you, Sherry. I definitely try to approach these rough patches like little comedy sketches. It's that or stick my head in the oven when the gas is turned back on.
    Meleah, I have days like that. I delayed the shower today out of dread not busyness.
    kkryno!!! Yes!!! and brrr.
    Kulkuri - That sounds like a decent backup plan. Our neighbors can suck it.
    Pagan, thank you. These blogposts have become my morning writing exercise before I get down to the "serious" writing.

  9. I'd've been heating water on the stove. Oops! Sorry :-)

  10. What blows is that no gas = can't heat up water. Because here in glamorous NYC I've had to boil more baths than I care to admit. But mine were due to my bastard landlord refusing to send in a boiler repairman. Or emergency oil delivery. Etc. I hope the gas is on tomorrow. I can deal with heat, but no heat, no hot water? Impossible.

  11. Sounds miserable actually. Hope they turn it back on again soon. You could always do the old hot water tub in the kitchen. Just make sure you go first!!

  12. I think you first surf the porn and THEN take the cold shower, right? :)

    This requires a trip to the actual utility office with a money order, yes? Until then it's "make friends with the neighbors" day on the block.

  13. Oh, Lisa, I'm so sorry. It must be tough...but remember that brighter times are ahead! (They have to be, right?) In general, you are a positive gal--that helps. I'll be thinking of ya'!

  14. I've had to boil water on an electric stove, but total cold turkey cold shower no....brrr!


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