Tuesday, July 6, 2010

What's a Goal Without The Vuvuzelas

Boy have we been on about goals around here.  We're so busy being all up in each others' shit, it's a miracle you haven't seen us on Cops yet.  This year, of course.  You guys saw us featured on that award-winning program last year, right?

Wait - that's not the direction I wanted to go.  I don't wish to get all braggy.  What I mean is that we did try again with the Family Time thing, but it petered out of after the first round of Apples to Apples.  We lack attention span and senses of humor when we come together, it seems.  We also lose our ability to use our inside voices.

So before I even got to tell you about our goal to spend more time together as a family, the goal is blown.  It's only the 5th of the month in which Everything Was Supposed to Change and I'm talking in the past tense already.

Don't assume, though, we don't cling to some of our goals.  I established a word count goal by which I aim to finish this manuscript.  Today I'm liking it.  I'm walking on sunshine and seeing rainbows and unicorns behind every bush.  It's such a refreshing change from my usual state.  I know you can tell because I didn't call it the damn manuscript.  And I am pleased to report that I did write over one thousand words today.  That's in addition to a couple hundred words of a book review, this blog post (fill in number of words here), and the entire Smiths discography listing every song ever recorded by them written out in long hand.  I realize that doesn't count toward my word goal, but it sounds cool anyway.  Shut up, MathMan.  You know it's true.

Now about those weight loss goals....yeah, well.  I'm inching my way toward something.  Lean and fit might be over-reaching, but leaner and fitter?  I'm doing it.  It does feel good, I admit.  Not as in "Oh my lord, I can finally give up sugar entirely!"  But good as in "Well, I can eat five Milk Duds instead of the whole carton in one sitting."  You take your wins where you find them, yo.

See, the trick is that I don't tell you specifically what my goals are.  I don't wish to be that accountable.  Plus I don't want to tell you my weight, for goodness sake.  Regarding my word goal, that's easy.  1,000 words per day until done.

I'm not the only one with goals, though.  Recently MathMan noted that he's struggling to run his intended amount each time we go to the gym.  I, very generously, diagnosed his problem right away.

"You need to set a new goal.  You ran just fine when you were training for that 5k race."  Sentences beginning with the words You need to are always received so warmly around here.  But he knew I was right.

Chloe, having set her own goals for the summer (hint:  earning money so she can afford an iPhone) provided the answer.  She announced that she'd been roped into running a 5k in August.  And so now MathMan has his new goal.  He'll get all obnoxious and gung ho about it and make me feel like a pointless slug because I can't run a 5k, but that's what marriage is all about, right?  You on the upswing, your spouse on the down.  No, that's not quite it.  Mutual disdain?  No.  Humor barely covering up that well-honed contempt bred by too much familiarity?  Now I'm getting warm.

This morning I mentioned to MathMan that I'd concluded that a large part of my weight issues had to do with the fact I use my excess body fat as armor.

"Against what?"  I could tell by his tone he wasn't buying it.

"Lots of things.  You know.  When you're fat you're invisible."

"But you don't want to be invisible  Not really."

I chewed my lip and thought about that.  "In public I do.  Sitting at my computer, I'm fine."

Derisively.  That's the most accurate way to describe how he laughed.  It was close to a snort.

"You're addicted, that's all.  You just need to....."

Go on then, what are you goals?  Do you even bother?  Don't you just love it when someone starts a sentence "You need to.....?"  What are you trigger phrases?

It's a skate key.  It has no further relevance.


  1. I'll blow your vuvuzela any time you need me to.

  2. You're addicted, that's all..that's all? Does he happen to have the magic cure to such an easy problem?

    My goal is not to kill my husband who is driving me crazy while traing for a ridiculously hard bike event he signed up for and is traing for and talks about and whines about constantly. He is spending money we don't have on bike parts and massages and talks about losing weight but eats stays up late and eats stuff (which I know because he leaves sticky messes all over the kitchen.) He keeps going out on training rides and breaking down and then I have to go get him and it is still 3 weeks until the damned event...Aren't you glad you asked?!!

  3. My goal for now is to finish these classes and get that master's degree. I only have a few more classes but at one class per semester it just seems like forever and a day before I'll be done.

    Then, I intend to get serious about my thighs. They are turning to lard I'm afraid. I tell myself it's the aging process and that nothing can be done about it. That may be true but I suspect it's all this computer/desk sitting on my fanny time and reading nonstop besides.

    However, first things first-degree, then thighs.

  4. Oh man, he needs to sympathize with you! Don't men get that???? *smiles*

    I am struggling a bit with my weight, too, Lisa--so I feel your pain...and I like sugar too much to give it up right now. :)

    Instead, I am focusing on getting stronger--and that I know is working. I can do an hour and a half workout on Saturday mornings and not feel like I'm half-dead the next day. :) I can now do the pilates "roll ups," which I've never been able to do before.

    These are good things. Now if only I could stop eating cookies and cheese and drinking wine. *smiles* Oh well, one thing at a time...

  5. Well, first of all, let me say that the next person in line to blow my vuvuzela gets a huge, HUGE prize and probably a wedding ring. Of course, he must pass a test first. That could quite possibly be my number one goal this year.

    Otherwise, my many goals are, well, many, including a hearty game of Apples to Apples with my nanaboys (they have wicked senses of humor -- don't know where they got that), and I'm hoping to achieve every one of my goals BEFORE I tell anyone what they are. I'm all about saving myself from public humiliation, a worthy goal in itself. No?

  6. Today's goal? The same as most days -- make it past the Dunkin Donuts on the way to work without discovering a maple-frosted donut in my hand.

  7. Funny you should be writing about this now. I just set a goal this weekend to finish the first draft of my novel by the time my husband graduates with the phD, which should be December (crosses fingers anxiously). I can't go another year without a finished draft, putting it off, or switching projects, or getting lost in the middle, or losing steam, or whatever. I'm sick of those old patterns. I may hate it when I'm done, but I don't care -- it's getting written, word by word, by December.

    Sounds to me like you have a lot of goals and are doing just fine, Lisa. What exactly does Mathman think you're addicted to? Food? Huh. I don't get that. Anyhow, we all have our individual struggles, we're all on different life paths. He's just lucky he doesn't have to worry about getting his first opus written. A 5K is nothing comparatively. ;)

  8. I do the "you need to..." thing with the Mr. all the time, much to his delight. If he would just suck it up and admit that my "you need to..." statements are usually spot-on, we wouldn't have a problem.

    My goals? Keep working out regularly to get into better shape, get back to school in the fall, be a better blogger, and trying to forget that macaroni and cheese exists (see goal #1).

  9. My goal is to get me and DH to stick to the Mediterranean Diet. Because we're both overweight and his blood sugar was just south of diabetic in his recent blood test, and I figure if there is any diet I can get him to eat it's the Mediterranean diet, since it allows red wine. Yes, I know, in moderation. Something we're not good at. But we can try. That's what goals are about, right? Good luck with yours!

    My trigger is when I tell DH I'm sorry about something and he says "It's OK, I'm used to it." It may be true but it's not what I want to hear when I'm apologizing!

  10. I think todays family has a lot of competition for attention. TVs and cell phones and hectic work schedules, etc. all conspire against traditions like a sit down dinner or game night.

    Our solution? We take family vacations. It's the thing you remember when you're older and you all live apart. It costs us a fortune to do it, but we do.

    And I hope its what I remember when I'm in that nursing home or hospice, because I sure as hell ain't interested in reminiscing about my job...

  11. My goal at the moment is that both of us are still able to laugh by October. When you spend 16 years doing much the same thing, even taking into account moving in and out of several apartments, the actuality of putting a major relocation into effect throws previously minor differences into high relief. We could have used some of that detergent around here these past weeks :-)

  12. My goal is to buy your children a set of vuvuzelas for Xmas.


And then you say....

(Comments submitted four or more days after a post is published won't appear immediately. They go into comment moderation to cut down on spam.)