Monday, July 18, 2011

Whipped


Kitty Noir. I sink deeper. I'm already referring to him as my Familiar. I'm going through the boxes of long-stored baby stuff hunting for the Snugli so I can carry him when I mow. I might have referred to myself as Mommy in context to him. I've given him worm medicine and looked carefully between his legs because, yes, I did once name a cat Phoebe only to discover that his love for me was less than pure.

For now, I'm calling him Kitty Noir because listening to NPR and loving cats go hand in hand like butt sniffing and hissing. Yeah, there's a lot of that going on. We're working on proper etiquette. And let me tell ya, Kitty Noir is not the problem. Fiona's hisser is cranked passed eleven. You can take the girl out of the ditch, but you can't take the feral out of the girl.

Thanks to Nan for posting the Free Kitten ad on her workplace's website. Nan is here in Atlanta, but I meant it when I wrote that I'll bring this cat to you. I mean, hell, people, it's not like I have a job or anything. I can pretend it's a vacation without the kids fighting in the backseat. Hey, I could do commute chat with the kitty!

See. I need this cat gone. I so need this cat gone that I'm willing to trade him for a five year old boy. And the only thing I need less than another cat is another kid.

I understand if you can't take this cat, but if you're still here through all this hectoring, then may I suggest that you at least make a tiny donation to help me pay for his fixing and shots. If I'm going to be owned by this cat, then I can at least be responsibly owned.

Or, share this info with your friends, family, acquaintances and associated crazy cat people. Male cat, medium length hair, approximately 8 weeks old, no shots (yet), not neutered (yet).

Honestly, you guys know that I can't even watch those Arms of the Angels commercials where they show the abandoned and abuse animals, right? I turn the channel because even with my back to them, my eyes brim with tears. I'm a complete sap. Like Laura said in comments - I want to scoop them all up in a basket and keep them safe. Rainbows optional.

Help me.

Come back tomorrow for a pussy free post. Well, unless, of course, I decide to publish the draft I've written about why I think women like Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann get media attention.

Until then, purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And thank you.


9 comments:

  1. Oh, he's gorgeous. He'd own me, too. Right away. I hope you get the funds to care for him because I can tell you love him, but short of that, a nice, new home...

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  2. Though I'd love to have you drive across the country and stay in my spare room for awhile and have some fun - everyone here is allergic to cats. Hope you find a good home.

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  3. Looks much like our demised cat Poppy - my kids named him after poppyseed kolaches. Good luck my dear.

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  4. I'm sorry but I couldn't resist digging up an old one. Maybe it's anew career plan?

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  5. We are already overloaded with pussies at my house....

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  6. I can't take in another cat although he is beautiful. Two dogs and two cats are enough, plus I am not in IL right now and I do not think H. would appreciate me taking in another cat.

    But I can donate so that you can take care of that kitty noir, food, litter, shots and medical stuff are not cheap. So hopefully you can find a good home for him, but if not he has found a great home with you.

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  7. I don't do paypal (they tried to fuck over Wikileaks), so I'll throw a check in the mail. I assume it's the same address that I used before?

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  8. after bawling through the previous post, yeah, i bawl through that commercial too, i have to mute the sound and squint my eyes every single time because the suffering we inflict on helpless animals in heartless and terrible...i shall donate as i know you want to keep him/her and so that way you will have one more to care and feed, no? you want to do that, right?? i will check back in the morning to see if you have had any regrets. i know you won't and it's a fantastic idea, not that ms. moneybags can donate much but every little few cents helps right? YAY! xox and one for all the cats, oh i forgot i don't like kitties except kittens!

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  9. I hate those damn manipulating commercials. But you can't manipulate me into taking in another cat.

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