It's like when you know you shouldn't date that person, but you can't resist their dark eyes, the shape of their fingers. That last vodka tonic after you knew you'd reached your limit. The second, or third, piece of cake. The gaucho pants that were on the clearance rack. The W tattoo. The agreement to jump off the bridge if all your other friends would.
The 2a.m. burrito. The white pants on the 27th day of your cycle. The devil-may care way you said "We won't run out of gas before we get home....." The Boston fern over the bathtub. The cartwheel on the wet driveway. Saying yes to the first guy who asked you to the prom even though he wasn't your first choice.
It's the way Sean Hannity is going to feel for aligning himself with George Zimmerman whose case just seems to get sketchier and sketchier.
It's giving away your art deco buffet because you just didn't feel like loading it onto the truck.....the perm you let your mom talk you into, the decision not to take the insurance on your cellphone.
Every day. Every single day I do this with my nemesis I75. And every single day I remember what a dumbass I am for thinking I can beat the odds, that I won't be thinking unkind thoughts about whomever caused the accident that has resulted in the bumper to bumper clusterfuck that is the worst commute in the nation. I lament the fact that they don't have formal drivers' education here, that the public transportation system is pretty much nonexistent and, of course, I berate myself for once again for forgetting that the back roads aren't just more scenic. They're more efficient, too.
At least when I'm sitting in traffic, I've got music like this to cheer me.
Ever wish you'd taken a different route?
I'm guessing the flying car hasn't found its way to the southern markets yet.
ReplyDeleteThink of how much of a character you are from all that building.
I don't like answering your questions.
We've already discussed this via email, Randal, but let it be known here that I want a flying car NOW!
DeleteI tried every alternate route available last night, to no avail. Should have just sat in the parking lot that was I-75 and enjoyed the music while trying to calm my growing ulcer created by Atlanta traffic.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it's been a total cock up this week. It actually started last Friday with three accidents between the 120 exit and Windy Hill. I thought many unkind thoughts about the drivers involved in those crashes. I'm so selfish.
DeleteI have never understood why MARTA did not have a rail line paralleling 75. I guess Cobb blocked them out. Traffic the reason I for work at 6:00 AM.
ReplyDeleteHi, Steve. I've heard a couple of theories about why we have virtually no regional public transportation. It's ridiculous. They could model a decent system on Chicago with its el, subway and Metra that goes way way out to the burbs. I'd much rather ride the train than drive.
DeleteAh, well. Some people commute on the interstate; some people vote for Republicans. Personally, I still put important papers in a "safe place," so that I am unable to find them two days later.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our bears to cross.
You crack me up. When I read this, I snorted green tea through my nose. I wonder if THAT will help my metabolism.
DeleteI heard that the reason MARTA was limited (because it was supposed to be bigger) was because the white people in the richer burbs were afraid that black people in the city might visit. Don't know whether that's entirely true, but it smells about right.
DeleteOh yes. The 2a.m. burrito & that last vodka club after I knew I'd reached my limit, get me ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can totally relate to your frustration with that highway. I'm laughing because I just posted something similar about the NJTPK!
We're so in sync, Meleah! I had ice cream for dinner, too.
DeleteI have NO good routes into Raleigh. Traffic issues here have no rhyme or reason. Delays are somehow worse on sunny spring mornings than during torrential rain.
ReplyDeleteThe worst delay that I have ever experienced involved an overturned turkey truck, at 6 am, on a humid Friday morning in June or July. I sat in traffic forever, seething with rage. Then I saw the clean up crew: a lone guy, in full Hazmat gear, shoveling dead turkeys into a pile.
I couldn't stop laughing.
I'm a horrible, horrible person.
Not at all horrible. You know a good sight gag when you see it. Pun intended.
DeleteI think I must be my own nemesis --- I can almost hear myself sniggering as I slip on the banana peels . . .
ReplyDeleteThere is that - our own worst enemy. Tonight I took the back roads, but I still had this need to berate myself so I had a DQ blizzard for dinner so I can feel bad about my food choices.
DeleteYou should never feel bad about a DQ Blizzard - the thought that I will have one in August when I'm at the cottage in Ontario keeps me going.
DeleteThank you, Downith. I should live where they are hard to get.
DeleteAs Mae West said, 'To err is human, but it feels divine'. Of course, she didn't have to commute.
ReplyDeleteI wish my commute was just up a flight of stair!
DeleteWe have a local freeway that turns into a parking lot @ peak times. Yet there is always some jackass who still thinks it is a freeway. You know the type... driving an inch behind your bumper and is all bent out of shape, because clearly if this anxiety ridden dolt would look ahead, he'd see the sea of red break lights ahead.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead jerkwad, jump in the right hand lane because that packed on ramp ahead is loading into your lane.
Folks like them are the reason for chain reaction multi car accidents. I swear, they need an electronic sign that says "NOT CURRENTLY A FREEWAY".
The husband's vehicle was totaled in a 3 car wreck on this very road. Some old lady following too close rear ended his car, then hit him again when her car was hit into him again when the car behind her hit her.
Wish I could flash a sign on the freeway, that says back the F@#k off!
When did people forget you don't tailgate @ freeway speed?
Oh yeah, Fran. The tailgaters are a dangerous nuisance. I think they're the worst on the road.
DeleteOh god. I'm in the middle of doing something right now and I hate to say it, but my gut told me at the instant of decision making that it probably is not the right thing for me to do. But I'm stubborn and doing it anyway. I won't know for a while whether it's going to be the right thing or an utter disaster.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, if it is an utter disaster, I might get some good writing-related jobs out of it. I hope. It's pretty sad when the question, "Could I eventually sell my shitty story to some magazine?" is the only thing that comforts you.
I'm going to be positive for you, Laura. It's going to be the right thing to do.
DeleteAnother of my bad habits is doing the right thing at the wrong time. Or vice versa.
I would go back in time and tell myself not to be afraid to share the naughty bits of my personality when I write fiction. Once I let everyone be horny and flawed, I suddenly became a much, much better writer.
ReplyDeleteYou really ought not hide that talent under a bushel. I'm serious, Summer.
DeleteI think it's the same way writer's gravitate to the same themes. Our obsessions choose us and then hang on with its pitbull jaws. The best we can do is train the little fuckers.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Lyra. I need a whip and chair for mine. Perhaps an electric cattle prod, taser and tranquilizer darts, too.
DeleteI used to have a commute like that. I took the zen approach and just stared at the birds or the bay...or course it was a rude awakening when I rear-ended someone, but that was the other cars' problem.
ReplyDeleteOmnipotent One, I try to be zen. And then I realize I've had too much coffee.....
DeleteTry free trade...I hear it works wonders:-)
DeleteAtlanta traffic was the reason we lived where we did in the city -- when we moved to Atlanta, we got there on a Sunday. The traffic was so hideous (long backups on I-75 due to construction, bumper to bumper on the beltway) that I said, if it's like this on weekends, I don't want to see it on a workday. We found a place to rent that guaranteed I'd never have to get on to the interstate. Not an option for everyone, obviously, but we got lucky.
ReplyDeleteAs for MARTA, long-time Atlanta residents told me there's one major reason it doesn't extend out very far: everyone outside Atlanta hates Atlanta and doesn't want to do anything that might benefit the city. Having watched Georgia politicians in action for a few years, I find that theory believable.
We have to move closer to the city. One way or another. With gas prices what they are, Nan, your idea seems the most sane. Funny though, I can't get the family on board with a move to College Park.
DeleteThis train of thought, this thing you've got going here --- it's pure effing gold. The Boston fern over the bathtub! I mean, come on!!! Hahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHere's to next week, and no b.s. on the road. Or at least lower b.s.
Thanks, Teri. I stuck to the back roads the rest of the week and my frustration levels dropped significantly.
Deleteto commute is to be in hell...period.
ReplyDeletei feel for you . and thanks for stopping over at my blog the other day! google decided to just lock me out of blogger for awhile, strangely enough. the nerve...
hoping for you a short country road that gets you right where you want to be. there. xxxlinda
Thank you, Linda. Your new blog is lovely. I look forward to more visits there.
DeleteAh yes, I always had the same dilemma, especially because I was always running late to get to work in time for a morning meeting. Take the highway which is a good five minutes' faster - as long as there's no traffic? Or take the back way which takes longer but is more predictable? Inevitably I would choose the highway on the day it was all backed up. My sympathies.
ReplyDeleteDamn, this was excellent. (Cartwheel in the driveway? Not on these jelly arms!)
ReplyDeleteLike getting on the internet at 10:30pm and saying "I'll only do this a few minutes".
ReplyDeleteI totally fell for the fern over the bathtub. Never again!
ReplyDeleteI think I-75 might not be so bad if the geniuses who designed our freeways didn't have it merge with 85 in the middle of freaking downtown. What the hell were they thinking?
I second moving closer to the city.
ReplyDelete