Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Who's behind the false face

Via Retro Weirdo

Special concern:  If you were in the path of the Hurricane Sandy, I hope you're okay.  Has anyone heard from MSB after the storm? I emailed her, but haven't heard back.

1. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo starting on November 1st. The family has been warned there will be increased neglect and I'll be acting like someone with PMS for the entire month, consuming sickening quantities of leftover Halloween candy (right down to the already-opened Smarties) and overreacting to all interruptions. Plus I'll be squeezing all this fun into the hours when I'm not at work or driving to and from. Predictions:  A 50/50 chance of success with a high probability of martyr-like behavior and an outbreak of adult acne.

2.  I want to write an essay titled "Why the Constitution is an Asshole."

3.  If Mitt Romney becomes our president, I'm cancelling my plans to get my diminished hearing checked. Listening to him lie is bad enough, but if I have to go through four years of listening to him do that ghastly tongue click before he speaks, well, that will be too much to bear. It's even worse than the classical radio announcer out of Cincinnati who always sounded like he was chewing a fistful of nuts when he spoke. I could picture him spraying spittle and flecks of pistachios all over the microphone.

Via Retro Weirdo
4. I spent nearly an hour yesterday evening looking at photos of vintage Halloween costumes. The entire Eastern seaboard is in a shambles and I'm trolling for vintage Halloween photos because the bad news all around is breaking my delicate nature.

5. I'm reading a book with the most atrocious dialogue, but I want to know how it ends. I'm halfway through and want to skip ahead, scanning through the dialogue because otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to lose my damn mind. But some writer - all right, Selden Edwards - worked really hard to write this story. Does skipping and scanning make me an asshole like the Constitution?

6. MathMan and I voted on Saturday. Spiderman was standing the prescribed number of feet or yard away from the polling place holding a sign for some fellow who's running for the local school board. After watching this, I'm thinking that having Spiderman on the school board would be an improvement. Goodness knows he wouldn't be our first mutant.

What are you hoping for in your treat bag?


24 comments:

  1. the constitution is an asshole....interesting, i'd read it...spiderman at the polls eh...interesting....i would vote for spiderman over some of these guys...

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  2. Please write that essay.

    I already got a treat yesterday when I got to stay at home with the wind roaring outside. I worked on the couch all day while surrounded by two very sleepy, warm, and affectionate cats. Best day ever. Can I repeat?

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  3. Since I always vote either for a fictional character or a dead guy, I fully endorse Spiderman. I know what I want in my treat bag, but I ain't telling.

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    Replies
    1. I would think Mickey Mouse would finally win at some point. Maybe Minnie would be a better bet?

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  4. happy writing! We are all decorated for Holloween. Haven't ever had one since I moved to Iowa. Nobody walks a half mile lane to get a piece of candy....lol...country kids don't trick or treat door to door. So we are ready with a half ton of candy. The dog should be amused at all the little kids. We look forward to having a busy evening.

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  5. Aaron James claims prior art:
    http://www.amazon.com/Assholes-A-Theory-ebook/dp/B008AEGGNS/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1

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  6. I'm hoping to read your 50,000-word essay on why the Constitution is an asshole.

    And maybe Twix.

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  7. New Jersey is an absolute mess. Things are really bad. We have no power, no television, no radio, no internet, no landlines, no cell phone service, no texts, no emails, no form of communication whatsoever – nothing. And it could take up to a week to restore everything. Also, the roads are awful. Trees and power lines are down. Streets, and bridges, and tunnels, are closed. No traffic lights work. Ect. Oh, and you can forget about trying to get gas in your car.

    Luckily, I was able to escape the disaster area, with my son, and and we made it to Pennsylvania safely. We are staying at my brothers house where  there is POWER and INTERNET and SHOWERS and FOOD and FAMILY and TELEVISION and LAUGHTER.


    * I signed up for BOTH. NaBloPoMo & NaNoWriMo I have officially lost my mind.


    Good luck to you with your novel. I am so excited for you!

    And Happy Halloween!

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  8. I'd love to read your take on the Constitution as it's a subject that really hasn't been discussed with the kind of humor and clarity you bring to everything you write.

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  9. You go, you NaNoWriMo you! I did it twice. Well, once-and-a-half. This year, amid hot flashes and fucked up Qi (according to my Chinese Medicine Practitioner), I'm doing NaNoWriNo. As in less is more. 10K words I like is my goal. I simply can't afford do anything in excess or I'll pay a price I don't have. That reminds me--time to take my (I shit you not) 24 BB-pellet shaped herb pills.

    Re the election, you know it'll be a complete cluster with Sandy and all. It'll make the chad-hanging, Florida debacle look like a fair and civil process. The ugliness quotient of this election will continue to ramp.

    But on a positive note, the vintage Halloween costume photos are adorable! Cutest thing I've seen all day.


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  10. per suzy's "i did it twice"...that's what she said.

    sorry, i can't stop myself.

    i want to read your constitution essay in mother jones or on the rumpus or here. please?

    i can't decide what i love more, those retro masks or that couch upholstery and the way it is snugged up against that hutch. (that's what my grandma called it... her hutch, as in, "go get the pinocle cards out of the drawer in the hutch."

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  11. I still don't like that retro includes from my lifetime. I too, can't wait to read the essay. A while back I bought a dictaphone so I could walk and write. It didn't work because I was embarrassed and frustrated with all the walking traffic I met while trying to use it (what are you doing? talking to yourself?), but it just might work in a car?

    My treat came in a decision to move back home. I spent yesterday breaking into random happy dances. Warts and all, I cannot wait to be back!

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  12. I think we used to own that couch. My treat was the flu so the kids went trick or treating with Daddy instead.

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  13. I emailed MSB too, but so far no word. Each day that passes makes me more worried...

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  14. One of the few times when I feel better off in Ohio than out east.
    ~

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  15. Good luck! I'll beta read for you if you want. You totally helped me out with my last.

    I'm plodding away at my next novel, but I'm not at a point where I can write it quickly yet. One of the central conflicts feels too personal right now.

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  16. Oh, and I forgot to say, sometimes I skip and scan as well. I had to do that with Austentatious, which had pages and pages and pages and pages of drivel, but was otherwise an interesting story. I could never believe that the character would really had such a looooooong set of internal monologues, or that she would need to repeat them every chapter.

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  17. Why the constitution is an asshole? Ha! Brilliant!

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  18. I, too, look forward to the Constitution essay. I think it will be a fun AND insightful read.

    A 'local news guy' featured on NPR sounds like Deputy Dawg with sinusitis. I have to force myself NOT to slam my car into a tree when he's on. I COULD just change the station, but PLEASE.

    I am currently reading 6 books at once, and am 10 books behind on my 'Goodreads Goal' for this year. I may or may not reach my hoped for limit.

    I haven't blogged in about 2 months. I am contemplating Blogocide, but don't know if I can follow through.

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  19. All I wanted for Halloween was to laugh a little and it happened. It happened again right here too! You could never be as assholish as that silly Constitution. You simply haven't got the constitution for it!

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  20. Lisa: The village only got power back on this morning. I was trying to get in touch with a friend all week who lives there and she was finally able to call me this afternoon. I think the power came on around 10:00 a.m. I think MSG probably lives close enough to my friend to have been in the same circumstances.

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  21. Good luck with NaNoWriMo. I guess that's why you haven't posted in November yet! Fingers crossed for tomorrow's election... Am finally reading up on my blogs to see what everyone's doing. Our Halloween was cancelled because of Sandy damage, and it's supposed to be today. Will see if we get anyone. Bought a couple of bags of candy just in case.

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  22. NaNoWriMo ... I think that's where James Joyce got his start. Either that or Redbook magazine.

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  23. I was wrong, he got his start at EenieMeenieMinieMo .... Or was it NaNuNaNu?

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And then you say....

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