Thursday, February 21, 2013

Bound


And so it has come to this.


Dear Colleagues,

It is with great sadness that I inform you about the loss of one of our faithful work fellows.

In my rush to do a job quickly instead of safely and efficiently, I jammed the binding machine. Joe tried his best to revive it, but the patient  never recovered. Dr. C. says we have no choice but to pull the plug on the Combbinder 6000.

The machine, which has provided years of dutiful binding service, leaves behind several orphaned spines and covers. Reports are that Combbinder went out with a burst of confetti that won’t be easily forgotten by the IT staff. Or their vacuum.

A private service is being planned. In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the Retired Binding and Folding Machines Foundation.

Murder and/or technocide by willful negligence charges against yours truly are pending.

P.S. Monique – can you order a new machine? Thank you.

Best regards,
Lisa
The bossfriend contacted the Purchasing Department to ask them to order a new Combbinder 6000 and was inundated with photos of possibilities, none of them an exact match to the Combbinder 6000.

Is that the right model number? We were having lunch in the staff kitchen.

I looked at her wide-eyed. Oh no.

Good thing she has a great sense of humor. 

9 comments:

  1. You are awesome, milady!

    You know, for a murderer of office equipment.

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  2. Oh dear. Shall we take up a collection for your defense?

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  3. Brings back memories of sending multiple copies of underwriting packages off to Fannie Mae at the last minute...

    (Not all that fond, either.)
    ~

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  4. Let's all take a moment to appreciate the little things in life, like how freaking awesome the name "Combbinder 6000" is.

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  5. I didn't think it was possible to kill a comb binder. Congratulations.

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  6. At least it wasn't stricken with a dread case of PC Load Letter.

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  7. You've reminded me how glad I am not being the person in charge of copy machine repair.

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  8. R.I.P. Commbinder 6000.

    Hey at least it died in service-- not like that copier from the movie " Office space" where they take the obstinate printer out to a grassy field, along w a baseball bat.
    Have a look @ You Tube Office Space printer scene.
    You have to admit, that scene looks satisfying-- #@$@# office equipment that does not work-- Ohhh to bust it up w a baseball bat.

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  9. That's our Lisa. Wreaking havoc and raising hell wherever she goes. ;-)

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And then you say....

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