Monday, January 19, 2009

Adventures in Real Parenting: Road Trip, The Sequel

We've returned from our road trip to Athens.

Now I am relaxing in front of the computer, as best as possible. I do keep watching my unread rss feed counter click upward. That's not so relaxing. I have to go to the office tomorrow. How will I ever catch up?

So how did the road trip go? Well, it did not disappoint.

Cupcake declared from under her covers that she wasn't going. When I discovered that while I was showering, she'd gotten back into bed with wet hair and half dressed, I didn't even pause to talk nicely to her. I went in to full tilt mom-bellow. She moved out of sheer terror, I suspect, but she cried, begged, and attempted to bargain her way out of this trip. I would not budge.

After that drama, I discovered that we are out of Dramamine.

It took us four trips up and down the stairs, forgetting things, retrieving things and slinging things around before we finally pulled out of the garage and got on our way. Cupcake cried in the backseat, The Actor grumbled "oh shut up" under his breath next to me. I turned the radio up and remembered why we didn't take more trips or get out more.

We hadn't gone ten miles before The Actor announced he had to go to the bathroom. We were going to meet The Dancer at the studio where she would leave her car so I suggested that he go to the bathroom there. "Maybe you should go too, just in case," I said to Cupcake. She refused.

Thirty miles later, Cupcake was in dire need of the bathroom. Of course. We made another stop so Cupcake and The Actor could go to the bathroom at the WalMart in Marietta. You know, their bathrooms leave quite a bit to be desired. Thought you'd want to know in case you're ever passing through on I75.

We finally got on the road to make some real progress toward UGA. MathMan called and we talked briefly. He's having a great time in D.C., doing some really cool things. I'm so happy for him (no that is not sarcasm, pouting, or martyred derision dripping from my voice).

I was not wrong in thinking that I would see the semi-digested contents of someone's stomach before the day. We'd gone maybe fifty miles when Cupcake started to smack her lips and make funny faces that indicate that she was about to blow. Thankfully, I'd had the foresight to line a small paint bucket with a plastic grocery bag. The Dancer tossed the bucket into the backseat, The Actor caught it and handed it to the now gagging Cupcake just in time.

The Dancer, The Actor and I responded inappropriately by laughing uproariously. Then The Actor, who was sitting next to Cupcake in the backseat, realized that Cupcake really was throwing up and jammed his fingers into his ears and started singing All the Single Ladies to drown out the sound of his sister's retching.

I used to be one of those people who would gag when anyone around me threw up. After three kids and multiple cats who throw up alot, I can be in the middle of a meal and get up to clean up vomit and never even stop chewing my food.

We finally got to Athens and drove around the campus to get more familiar with it. We had lunch at The Varsity while Cupcake hid in the bathroom. The Dancer, The Actor and I considered making a break for it then. We didn't. Really, we didn't. Well, she caught us sneaking away so we had to bring her with us....

The University has a lovely campus and Athens is the perfect college town, much like Bloomington, Indiana where MathMan and I attended school, met and got married. I could see The Dancer at UGA. Now I need for her to see herself there.


  1. So glad you are home, safe and sound. Poor Cupcake...puking her way to Athens. But hope she realizes what a prepared and concerned parent you truly are by having that lined paint can for her!!!

  2. Very funny road trip story.. but I hope poor Cupcake has recovered. The school campus looks wonderful with good lawns for dancing on.

  3. Oh, they laugh but I know that there is some truth behind this post. I live there, too. Usually. I am, as I mentioned earlier,

  4. Driven those iRoads... once a few years back to a funeral for a nephew then four who drowned in a pool. His death's anniversary was just days ago. He would have been 13. I do admire GA, but it seems I want to get out of it quickly to get to my destination or I'm on way home.

    love to see the off road pictures... any university where they learn from good teachers are ok... there are no givens anywhere.. wish you luck


  5. I am just up to speed: very wise you are very wise old darling: bring it all back home. Stay well all year.

  6. Someday you'll get a medal for putting up with those kids on raod trips. However that day is not coming any time soon.

  7. This talk of Cupcake and vomit together in one post may cure me of my craving for cupcakes.;-) I hope she is feeling all better.

  8. Oy -- too much fun for one person.

  9. You survived, that's good. Didn't know The Varsity was a chain. Is there one in every college town in the state??

  10. I'm with you on the puke thing. When I had my first cat and he'd puke, I'd have to call a friend over to clean it up.
    Now with three kitties, I can clean up a pile of puke with one hand while I'm eating a sandwich with the other.

  11. Amazing you made it through and still smiling.

    I lived in Bloomington, IN for awhile. The home of MTV. I worked in a real estate office, but, missed CA and returned.

    Enjoy the inauguration today.

  12. Isn't there some way to come up with the money to send the Dancer to a real school? One that values education and learning instead of worshipping a bulldog?

  13. too funny......but....not....but .....funny.......!!!

    Thanks for the Linda suggestion about the watercolor....! That's beautiful stuff she does! I had checked out Steve ...but not Linda.... I'll have to add her to my blog roll and reading list......

  14. My family has a bunch of family road trips that usually involve me puking on stuff in the back seat. Yeah, I was the Cupcake in my family, the baby who could ruin a party at the drop of a hat just by whining.

    Which may explain why I left the country as soon as I could and mostly stopped talking to my family for 10 years. But that's all water under the bridge now.

  15. Ha! You had me in stitches and yet I so felt for you!

    Good team work on passing the barf bucket so adeptly! :-D

    Would The Dancer rather attend college elsewhere?

  16. Glad you all made it home in one piece and that Athens has a nice campus.

    Cat and dog barf is not nearly as gross as people barf. I can clean the former up with no problem but won't go anywhere near people barf!

  17. Oh yeah, nothing's quite like that relief from catching up to your rss feed...

    Honestly, you need to write a book on parenting. The best stuff you write is the stuff about your Spawn. I can read hours of this stuff.


And then you say....

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