Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sore Thumb


Sometimes I'll think I should do something - it can be something simple and easy like cutting my fingernails - then I'll promptly dismiss the thought because something sparkly, shiny, chocolaty or bloggy will catch my attention and there I go down the other

I did that Sunday night. My right thumbnail was getting too long and, more than once, I thought 'I should cut that or it's going to bend or break.' I never did trim that nail. So it bent back, split and broke when I tried to pry apart the containers of bird seed that had vacuum sealed themselves together (when I sat the one with the lid on top of the one without the lid like a dumbass) yesterday morning. It broke below the quick and it hurts! Some of the nail clings on just so that when I bump my thumb on something, it can jam into the quick which is already tender and feeling raw.

One would think that a woman who, without painkillers of any kind, bore three babies naturally could endure the inconvenience and minor pain of an exposed nail bed. You would be wrong. This thing is ouchy, smarty, hurty and downright fucking agonizing. And of course, since I'm right handed, the sore thumb is on my right hand.

Pain makes me mean.

And cranky, whiny, nasty, petulant, vindictive and horrid. I believe I'm even putting off a mean smell. Or it could be the boiled egg I devoured in two bites so I would have time in my lunch hour to pound out this post (I'm just now finishing it at midnight). I believe the boiled egg and the not quite right cottage cheese that I ate six miserable bites of were conspiring to force me to inject a little sugar into my blood stream. I must admit that with each Milk Dud that passed my lips later in the day, a piece of my pain seemed to fall away.

My stupid thumb hurt all day. I was holding my pen funny when I have to write. Funny, today I thought I'd sit down and fill out some forms I've been dawdling over. Each time I begin, I note that I'm holding my pen like a pre-schooler, get disgusted and toss the forms aside to find yet another way to procrastinate. And yes, it does hurt a little to type, but it's so worth it to have a chance to fuss about this.

Of course all of this could have been avoided if I'd simply gotten off my ass and sought out the nail clippers and trimmed the too-long nail. Now I suffer the consequences of my inaction. Even simple things like trying to button my pants or grabbing my coffee cup from the car cup holder cause me pain and remind me that sometimes, it's okay to listen to the voices in my head.....

But really, this is about more than my sore thumb. I'm not sure what it's about, except maybe I am just like my thumb. Hurt, raw, a bit down to the quick, exposed, hyper sensitive. I knew last night that there was some whispering, nagging, niggling nasty sitting on my shoulder, poking small, barbed things into my ear and taking tiny chunks out of my shoulder with its jagged teeth. That little bastard gremlin needs to skedaddle. I've got a busy next few days and the last thing I need is his foul breath puffing into my face and making me itch.

Let's just hope the voices in my head go back to reciting funny limericks in faux British accents....

P.S. I do not believe it is hormonal. It may be related to being a woman, more specifically a mother, but no. Not hormonal. Entirely. Oh, fuck it. Maybe. Where's the chocolate?

26 comments:

  1. In winter I have to keep my nails short because they freeze and break. If I forget (as I sometimes do) then a very nice whine that helps with every painful crack and exposed tender spot is a vintage wail. It goes well with chocolate too.

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  2. I see my British friends visit you too. They must be the menopausal women voices and I guess they've got a helluva schedule to fulfil.

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  3. It took me three days from the decision I needed to get my nails done to making the appointment. About an hour a go I decided I needed water and a pony tale holder and I am still sitting here.

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  4. I have long nails. Very long nails. I tell myself they make my short fingers look better.

    When one of those suckers breaks you can hear me scream in Maine.

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  5. That sounds agonizing. Ever since the cancer took my thyroid I've complained I cannot grow long nails, now maybe I'm thinking it's a good thing. I'm sorry Lisa. Chocolate always helps. Hopes it feels better soon.

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  6. Ouch.

    For me, this is the time of year that my usual 20 or 25 hand washings per day just causes my skin to crack open and bleed.

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  7. Bubs and I are on the same page here. I wash my hands like Lady Macbeth, trying to keep from transferring a bit of germ from hand to face and then to get sick. I carry hand sanitizer in my purse, so at the matinee movie I can clean the kid crud from my hands.

    And still, when I trim my nails, I sometimes find a lose but of cuticle and try to trim it carefully so as not to break the skin. Never fails that I clip too deep and end up bleeding. Now I too have the sore right thumb just at the place the thumb taps the space bar.

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  8. Oh and I forgot to say, I'm making fudge every three days or so. Working on improving the recipe every time. I'm getting good at making fudge. Probably fat too. You cannot make fudge and not eat it, can you?

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  9. Remember that old saw about "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you."

    Just because it's hormonal doesn't mean there isn't some TRUTH hidden in those thoughts that appear seemingly out of nowhere. It may not be the top layer, but I've come to trust Christiane Northrup's assertion that those cyclical flashes of "emotion" are something in our life/relationships that needs to be addressed. Although, for me it wasn't/isn't actually about help with the housekeeping.

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  10. Here's to your pain, Lisa. It inspires some brilliant and funny writing. Long live your sore thumb!

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  11. I see you had some cottage cheese with that whine.

    If the voices come up with any good limericks, please share!!

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  12. All of my fingertips are cracked from a combination of cold and chlorine (swimming lessons for four year old). They all hurt. Winter sucks.

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  13. Eat the chocolate - your family will thank you. The dopamine will thank you.

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  14. In my personal experience, high doses of Biotin will help with fingernail health...just not the breaking sore part.

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  15. Now how will you poke people in the eye?

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  16. Hope your thumb starts to feel better soon.

    If I can't get to the clippers I use my teeth. Eeuuww? But it works. It forces me to go get the clippers anyway.

    For chapped hands I use pure lanolin.

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  17. I have very thin nails and this happens to me on a regular basis. (Why couldn't I have had thin thighs. It seems like an injustice, really.) I feel your pain.

    Much amused by your description of the things you were distracted by . . .

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  18. It's the little things that really, really hurt. Me, I broke my arm in two places back in my college years and went around for hours pretending nothing was wrong until I couldn't move it anymore. Get a paper cut, though, and I cry like a baby.

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  19. Oh! You can whine all you want -- As soon as I read the words "So it bent back" a grand shiver went down my spine. I can take so many bumps and bruises without complain, but nails bending backward .....

    {shudders}

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  20. Is it too juvenile and ridiculous to notice that you have 69 followers right now?

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  21. You were cranky? Hmmm. I just thought I had one of the things in my ear from the Wrath of Khan.

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  22. "I must admit that with each Milk Dud that passed my lips later in the day, a piece of my pain seemed to fall away."

    Hehe. Great line. So true. Only I don't like Milk Duds. I prefer kisses with almonds.

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  23. I find that when I am pms-ing I'm more sensitive to noise and I tend to hate my annoying co-workers just a tad more than usual. But for me it's not chocolate but meat that calms things down. Meat in its most perfect form: a bacon cheeseburger. Always does the trick.

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  24. Ugh, finger nail stuff... ugh ugh... bleck.

    Yes yes, go back to funny limericks in faux British Accents.

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  25. Ouch ouch ouch. Just thinking about it hurts. Eat more chocolate.

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