Thursday, April 30, 2009

Adventures in Real Parenting: Skip Thursdays

I saw the picture on the left Tuesday as I drove to work. For just a moment, I was pleased that I was sitting in bumper to bumper traffic so I could snap this photo. I knew it would be useful at some point.

So what am I doing instead of writing and reading blogs? Well, it's a varied list.

(1) Fretting over things (nothing new here)
(2) Doing the happy dance because I'm down another clothing size
(3) Actually working
(4) Trolling for just the right birthday card for someone special
(5) Wrestling with my desire to nap
(6) Being passive-aggressively difficult and annoyed because it's Thursday which means that I have to drop everything and take another kid to the doctor. This time it's not because someone has blood pouring from an open wound on his leg. No, it's someone who has something itchy on her leg and foot.

Hmmmm. While I'm there, perhaps I can ask about my unresolved itch. No, that's not a metaphor.

Well, at least I've managed to create enough guilt in The Spawn that they are sufficiently obsequious when they know they are causing me a pain in the ass. Upon realizing that I would have to leave work, drive 35 miles back to C'ville to take her to the doctor because she's one week shy of 18, and then come all the back back down to MathMan's school to pick him up later,

The Dancer sent a text of apology that read "I'm sorry I have disrupted your day. Thank you for taking care of this."

To which I responded "It's okay. I assume one day you'll come rescue me every Sunday from the swarming hordes of old coots who follow me around the assisted living facility by taking me to lunch somewhere nice."

Smart girl that she is, she replied quickly. "Of course, but what about Daddy?"

From me: "He'll be busy being cougared by the older gals. I don't think he'll want to leave the joint."

Her response: "I should have guessed. We'll bring him some takeout."

The Dancer is nothing if not practical.

Yes, she finally committed to a school. Phew. Details later if she says it's okay.


  1. My fingers are crossed that she chose Bullwinkle's alma mater Whatsamatta U!

  2. That would be up here in MN, at Frostbite Falls, yes?

    Sounds like a good exchange between you and daughter #1.

    I spend my time fretting too - how can we parlay this into a lucrative career?

  3. The Dancer appears quite level headed and quick witted, wonder who she got that from? That sounded bad, I meant from you!!!
    My new motto, it all gets done at some point...what can you do?

  4. Picked a school at last, huh? I'd wager you and Mathman threatened to come visit her every weekend if she didn't hurry up.

  5. Glad to hear she committed. I was starting to worry about her waiting too long and losing out on financial aid.

  6. At least you are keeping busy!

    Wait... did you say nap...?

    ...oh for a nap....

  7. It is always exciting to go down a clothing size! Well-done, you. (I guess that the dipped cones aren't an everyday occurance?)

    I hope the Dancer gives you the go-ahead to discuss her life because I can't wait to find out about her college plans!

  8. I think the Dancer and that pointy little son o' yours are the real parents here.
    You and Mathman are like goofier versions of Barbie and Ken.

    -Someone Special

  9. That Dancer, she's one very gorgeous babe. Wonder where she gets it?

    It isn't nice to brag about how you dropped a dress side as it makes some of us who recently gained thirty pounds pissed off and feeling FAT! Now if only someone would invent a corset that would squeeze all my belly fat up into my bosom or down and onto my bootay! They would be rich indeed. Especially if it was a product that actually worked as promised or was really cheap or both.

    You are absolutely right about Mathman in the Cougar den.

  10. She does love you, you know. I'm glad she decided on a school and can pursue her dream.

  11. I've said it before - one doesn't "lose" weigh, they donate it to someone else - who doesn't want it. Like ME!! Curse you Lisa!!

    Love the exchange w/ the Dancer. I hope my kids even consider visiting me in "the home."

  12. "Mrs. Golden(brown),you have a lovely daugher"

    what a cutie pie, how can you possibly say no to her?? no, just kidding,, i've got one too, i know how...but she's so cute and hope she picked the right will cry like a baby for days if she's moving OUT and away from you...just wait...oh no, not yet! :)


  13. KZ - you have us pegged we are not parents we are adolescents. The problem is that our parents can't get along. I just want lolly - cherry please.

    Why does this family think I need to be "cougared"?

  14. Mathman, it's not that we think you "need" to be cougared, we just know that you will be irrestible to the cougars. You will be cougared whether you need to be, or not!

    P.S. I *love* Karen Zipdrive's description, "You and Mathman are like goofier versions of Barbie and Ken." And who wouldn't have loved to have had parents like that?

  15. Well that's good, getting your retirement escape plans sorted....


    Glad the school thing's over...which one did she choose?


  16. Thank goodness she relieved you of that worry.. I know you had been concerned about her choice of school.

    Glad you could get her to the Dr.. hope all is well and it was not anything serious..

    I have to go with the consensus here about who is the parent and who are the

  17. Was that sign meant for debt collectors or was it simply apologies for delayed renovations?

    The Dancer has grown into a beautiful young woman by leaps and bounds. She's funny too so what else could you ask for? Ooops, never mind...

  18. Congratulations on dropping another size! I am so proud of you!

    The others are right, MathMan. You may not 'need' to be cougared, but you WILL be. I'm surprised that you aren't chased by old ladies now.

    Wow. That looks far creepier written down than it 'felt' in my head. Sorry about that.

  19. Congrats to the Dancer on her decision, whatever it is. She looks happy, so it's all good. So, while Mathman is being cougared, you will be doing what? Just asking.

  20. Good mom... good, good mom. Pat the back now.

  21. Congrats to The Dancer. I wish her well in her college career.

    By the way, tell her that when I used to visit my father in the home he lived in (and take him food) he really liked it when I brought beer with me.

  22. As you are parenting, remember the kids will pick the nursing home you wind up in. If Mathman survives that long, the odds will be in his favor at the home and he will be busy!!

  23. You never fail to make me smile and laugh--thanks!! *smiles*

  24. Reading about your family always makes me feel better about my family. I mean, we're all dysfunctional in some ways, radiantly beautiful in others. You guys exemplify that principle. Bless.

    I probably shouldn't post at 1:30 am. Everything I say sounds like total gibberish, but I was trying to say "you guys rock" and "thanks for being weird" at the same time.

  25. Congrats and good luck to her! (and you guys!) She looks relieved! and I bet you are too!


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