Thursday, April 2, 2009
Satan on My Tail
Life seems a bit surreal right now. We've got the whole blog-worn subject of moving. Enough said? Ha! I'm like my mother who used to yell at Darling Sis and me. She'd say a piece and then stomp back down the hallway to go fume. A little while later, we'd hear the heavy footsteps of her anger, our bedroom door would fling open and in would come The Big R again with more, more, more.
We were most imperfect children who richly deserved our mother's harsh words. But crimony, could she not have delivered them all at once.
And so here I am again talking about moving. Ho la la la hum, right? Right.
We're getting there, People of the Internets. There have been no shouting matches. There has been little bloodshed, no broken bones, minimum hurt feelings, no thrown telephones, Hershey's Syrup cans or broken dishes. Oh - no, I lie. I did break one of our beautiful crystal goblets. We received the pair for a wedding gift. I refuse to address the symbolism of that right now.
Compared to other times in our marriage, we're getting along superbly. Seriously. If we had a little spare time right now, we'd be like those middle-aged couples in Cialis commercials swinging footloose and fancy free down a wooded path in our light colored khakis, polo shirts and deck shoes or curled up lovingly in a hammock, gazing deeply into each others eyes.
Seriously, stop laughing. It's unbecoming. And that snorting? Just stop.
Okay - at least it's not like the time our marriage was breaking down and we did what all disintegrating couples do. We painted our house - together!!!! The living room was this dandy deep rose color (I had illusions of making our little tract house appear to be a Victorian on a tree-lined street). We were painting over the dark rose with a flat cream. During all of this, we were having some pretty heavy discussions as our wedded bliss was long gone and our future seemed rather in peril.
At one point, MathMan said "Hey, Lisa," and I looked up at where he stood. The words "FUCK YOU" stood out in bright white relief against the dark rose wall. Yeah. And I'm sure I deserved it. Later, after having left the room for one thing or another, MathMan returned to find the words "KISS MY ASS" painted on the wall opposing his message to me. I can assure you he deserved it.
And so we merrily trip along, unpacking, rearranging, talking about making lists of things we need to do, things we need to find, one or two simple items we'd like to purchase to finish this set up or that and never quite getting to writing those lists down. But we're making progress. Thank goodness because we're not painting and it would slow us down tremendously if we were to break out into a heated battling of dueling, angry text messages. Besides, we can do that from our cars and workplaces anytime.
Regarding the surreal mention up there, I've been so out of my element the last couple of weeks, being sick and then packing and moving that I am clearly not in any sort of routine. No matter, really, I suppose, since everything would have to be adjusted anyway. Still, I've been discombobulated, quietly crazed and slightly off kilter. I know some of you are wondering how I could tell a difference considering I'm often skidding around all askew and without a compass. And those are my good days.
Well, let me tell you - see that picture of the truck at the top of the post? I snapped that photo on my way to work on Wednesday. As I flew along, and I was going really fast because I was late, this guy came bearing down on me. I shook my head to clear it because I thought I was seeing things. I blinked and looked again. Nope, that really was a horned semi coming at me.
He got closer and I saw that this guy really did fancy himself somewhat devilish. The truck was red. Then I noticed that he had flames painted around his windshield. I snapped my pictures and this caused me to slow down a bit. He got closer and I wished that he would pass me so I could bet a better look, but when he was right up on my bumper, our eyes met as I glanced in my sideview mirror.
The hell, literally, with more pictures or gaping. I floored it. Seriously, People of the Internets, the guys eyes glowed.........