Well, Day One was mostly a success. However, there are some changes that I'll likely implement because it can't be chaos, mouth breathing and laughing at the crazy things people post on Youtube all the time.
For example, I really must shower. Sure, yesterday I conserved water, but that kind of sloth is unsustainable. I just had this conversation with CDP when she called me on Tuesday evening (thanks, C, for the call). The truth is, I don't function well until the blast of the shower whacks me in the face, so this business of not showering cannot be a long-term strategy for productivity. Note to self: shower, use that fancy body wash that makes you smell like a sugar cookie.
I'm also going to have to re-establish some boundaries with the children. At the moment, things are pre-holiday hectic, Chloe is home from school and there are all sorts of mini-intrusions that make me both cranky and guilt-ridden because no matter what I do, it never seems to be enough.
Having Chloe hang around the house is just too much of an incentive to goof off. She's a terrible influence. Yesterday, I made her breakfast and later, she made me hot chocolate. We fussed over how adorable the cats are. We sprayed adorable, but bad, cats in the face with water to teach them (again) that they are not supposed to be on the kitchen table. We watched David after the Dentist and its many spoofs. We laughed at this video. I did bake a chocolate chess pie and start dinner, which I soon abandoned to go chat with a friend who is in the middle of some personal issues, but honestly, I didn't write much and the laundry basket sat overflowing and ignored all day.
I was hausfrau FAIL and writer FAIL. I don't do anything small, do I?
I finally retreated to my office to attempt to get some work done on my book (that's code for fooling around on Facebook and reading blogs). Before I could shut my door and post the "writing" sign, Chloe had followed me in and lay on the floor. I mumbled something to her as I continued to stare at my monitor. A few minutes later, I asked her what she was doing and she replied simply, "Just lying on your floor." A few minutes passed and I heard her sigh. "Did you need something? Are you okay?" I asked.
"Nope, I'm just lying on your floor and sighing." Okay.
Another few minutes ticked by and she stood up in one fluid motion. I bothered to turn and look in her direction. "I guess I'll go back down to the sofa and breathe through my mouth in front of HGTV," she said and headed toward the door.
Some maternal instinct kicked in. "Chloe," I said to her retreating back "I don't mean to ignore you. Did you want something? Did you wish to talk?"
She paused in the doorway and looked at me with a crooked smile. "Nope, I'm fine."
I want blathering on. "Should I be more emotionally available and open to you? I'm so sorry that I'm such a self-involved and distant mother!" I held my arms out to her, palms up. See! See! I am here for you! See!
She cocked one eyebrow at me and and waved me off. "Me. Going downstairs. Mouthbreathing. HGTV. That's all."
"Yes, but are you sure?" I whined at her.
She gave me a frightened look and fled down the stairs.
When the other two kids got home, I provided similar motherly love and attention. Later, through their attorneys, they issued statements requesting that I knock it off.
So back to this being out of work stuff....to make all this productivity happen, I'm going to require a schedule. I need to know what I'm going to do most of each day, otherwise, it's an embarrassing free for all. I suppose I'll spend a good chunk of today working out such a device and plan. If you have suggestions, please leave them in comments. I'd appreciate it very much.
In fact, I've got a little prize for one randomly selected commenter today. To make it easy, leave a comment on this post and I'll put your name in a bowl and draw from the winner from it tomorrow. Comments must be received by midnight tonight (December 10, 2009). I'll notify the winner via another post about nothing and by email so if your email isn't connected to your blog profile, please check back tomorrow.
And, please do come back later when I tell you how the escort screening went! People of the internets, I have lived such a sheltered life, I tell you what.....