Tuesday, January 26, 2010
L is for Lisa who (fill in the blank)
Ever have one of those days when you're really, really glad that there's no one following you around with a video camera?
When the day started, I didn't quite feel that way. Oh sure, I began the day by locking myself in the laundry room. Thankfully I'd dropped my cellphone into my pocket and was able to text MathMan to come let me out. Actually, Nate heard me knocking on the door and let me out before MathMan arrived downstairs.
But that was just a fluke, right?
Later, after I dropped MathMan off at work and drove home, I was dealing with an increasing need to pee. Some of you are familiar with my need to squeeze when I sneeze because of um, plumbing issues. (Don't have kids? Laugh away. Your time will come.) Well, I sat at the last stoplight before reaching home and felt a sneeze coming on. The light turned green, I sneezed, forgetting that I had the car in first gear and as I reflexively crossed my legs, the car lurched forward and died.
I arrived home and rushed upstairs, dropping my purse on the floor outside the bathroom door. After I finished my business, I opened the bathroom door, forgetting that the purse had become a little booby trap. It was a nice fall.....
Did I mention that I think I broke a couple of my toes last week by stubbing them on the elliptical?
Typically, though, I'm pretty sure-footed. I suspect that existential pay back stuff is at work again. I have recently had the temerity to joke MathMan about being a klutz.
After I shook off the fall, I ventured back outside to gather up some trash that had collected in our side yard. We have a ditch that attracts all manner of effluvium from the neighborhood. I bent down to pick up a piece of a small, plastic clothes basket. I didn't realize that it was fused to the ground by a tasty mixture of dead leaves and mud. I yanked, but nothing happened. I yanked again, harder. I didn't have my mouth shut all the way which is how I know the mixture was tasty.
The rest of the day has been mostly uneventful. Mostly. After working on my manuscript for a couple of hours, I was feeling peckish. I looked in the fridge and there was the custard sauce I'd made to accompany chocolate chess pie over the weekend. The pie was gone (ahem, not me entirely) so I decided I may as well enjoy the wee bit of custard that was just going to go to waste otherwise. I spooned it out of its little glass cup enjoying its sweet goodness while I watched the birds at the feeder. A cat rubbed up against my leg. I dipped my finger into the custard and bent down to give the cat a lick. He gave me a warm thank you nuzzle and I stood, bumping my head on the edge of the kitchen table. The custard bowl clattered to the floor.
"Well, let's just hope that's the last of my klutziness today," I sighed and rubbed my head. The cat rolled his marble eyes at me and went about cleaning up the custard from the floor.