Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's Like a Faulkner Novel or Something

There's someone in my email who wants to show me what she's learned from adult stars.  Honey, if it's all the convincing moaning, I'm convinced.  But I have a question for her and for you because I know you know a thing or two about "Adult" things.  No, I'm not talking about arguing politics on Facebook without resorting to name calling or even paying taxes.  I mean Adult as in those things we wished we knew we liked and could be good at and comfortable with while we were still nubile enough to pull it off and look good doing it.

Digressing, aren't I?

Oh, wait! she screeched.  I had a question for you about Adult things.  Sex things.  Ready?  Put your thinking caps on, please.  I'll wait..........(deep breath)

WHEN DID SPITTING BECOME SEXY?

I swear, I like some good bondage or a girl on girl scene and sometimes you can find me sipping 7Up and giggling through a bit of bukkake, but for heaven's sake, stop with the spitting.  It's kinda gross.  Oh sure, I know it makes a fine lubricant in a pinch, but didn't your mother teach you anything?


Honestly. 

17 comments:

  1. Well, spit.

    (I don't get it either. Damn young people. Get off my porn!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, yeah. At first I was thinking you were talking about spitting a la Monica Lewinsky. Instead, you meant that whole nasty trend where the girls spit to lube up.

    Pretty gross, yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ugh.

    Spitting (any kind of spitting, erotic or otherwise) is one of the few things that nauseate me.

    G

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel so out of the loop as that's a practice I haven't seen. And I never thought much of bukkake either. I mean, if someone enjoys being humiliated, for god's sake, stick to the old-fashioned way by getting a job. Or by raising kids.

    I even get annoyed by athletes who constantly spit. Even that useta be more discreet as they turned away to spit. Now, it's just a rapid fire of loogies everywhere. It makes me think they were raised by goats.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm not down with the spitting either.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm apparently quite sheltered, as I have no idea what this means.

    The spitting OR the...what was it? Bukkake? No. CLUE.

    I'm a little afraid to look it up.

    Having said (written?) that, spitting is just frigging GROSS.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm with Renn, although I suppose if it keeps me awake tonight I'll resort to the old Urban Dictionary (will that help, I wonder?)

    But Kevin? Kevin wins with this: "I mean, if someone enjoys being humiliated, for god's sake, stick to the old-fashioned way by getting a job. Or by raising kids."

    Nicely put, sir. Nicely put.

    ReplyDelete
  8. WHAT?! Who's spitting? That is TOTALLY against the law.

    Somewhere.

    Especially anywhere near me.

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  9. The first porn I ever watched (and I was nearly 50 freakin' years old!) had a woman who spit on her fingers and then started rubbing her vaginal lips with it. I almost gagged.

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  10. "WHEN DID SPITTING BECOME SEXY?"

    Never!
    Ewwwwwww!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What ever happened to good old-fashioned jiffy lube?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Disgusting. I second Gine. I want to throw up when I see some guy (and occasionally a woman) hocking up god know's what into a subway grate or sidewalk. Aim for the curb, you animal. Better yet, wait and use a fucking restroom.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Darlin', it all depends if the spitting is before or after, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

    Regards,

    Tengrain

    PS - Faulkner is overrated.

    ReplyDelete

And then you say....

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