Friday, April 30, 2010

Pay It Forward Is So Yesterday

So yesterday was Pay It Forward Day. I totally screwed it up, of course, since yesterday was the day I finally acted on my selfish desire to pull a nylon over my head, pick up a water pistol and rob a bank.  My intentions were not good.  I was not prepared to play Robin Hood with the proceeds.  Oh no.  After a nice vacation somewhere French, I was going to be sitting around counting the cash over and over like they do on Wall Street.  Unlike those ill-mannered oafs, I would have given each bill a pet name and stroked it lovingly right before ..... wait.  Where was I?  Oh yes.  Pay It Forward Day.  Well, once again, I messed up.  I didn't pay it forward, backward or sideways.  Nah, I just frittered away my day in me! me! me! selfish mode.  It's nothing new, mind you, I just had an official, Foundation-sanctioned reason to feel like an ass for being so self-absorbed.  I took a pass.  I'm done with guilt.

However, today was a new day, Scarlet, and I seized it by its gonads.  To wit:

I get a text message from someone I don't know.  It reads as follows:  "My flight is Airtran ##### and I arrive at #:##."

I read the message twice and then sent back:  "You must have the wrong person.  Have a safe flight anyway."

The unknown texter responded quickly and did not mince words.  "Do not play with me.  Be there."

What to do?  I tried again.  "Who is this?"

She replied "Maretha."

I decided I'd better call.  I mean, I'd already irritated her, what else could go wrong?  Besides, I didn't want Maretha to be standing around the airport checking her watch and getting angrier by the minute at someone who never received the text about picking her up in the first place.

She answered on the first ring.  I explained quickly who I was and why I was calling.  She laughed and thanked me, explaining that she thought it was her friend giving her a hard time.  "I understand.  That's the kind of goofing my husband would do with me, " I said before hanging up.

And then a little while later, I was standing in an aisle at Target thumbing through coupons and trying to find the right size of Palmolive for my $1 off coupon.  An older woman approached me.  "Do you know where the lemon oil is?"  I wasn't wearing a red shirt so she knew I didn't work there.  "Sure.  It's right up here."  I reached up and grabbed the Old English and handed it to her.  She covered me up with thank yous and then asked if I knew where the Windex swiffer thingies were for high windows.  I found those too even though I still wasn't wearing a red shirt. "They should give you a job here," the lady laughed before thanking me again and moving on down the aisle.

Kapow, Pay It Forward Day.  I may be late, but I made it up in quantity.  Now I can go back to fantasizing about robbing banks with no intention of doing good.....

14 comments:

  1. Awwww! Good for you Lisa! Life is good! I'll drive the get away car!

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  2. Good job Lisa. You've done well!

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  3. Pretty awesome pay-it-forwards, and who cares if they're a day late? Especially if that means you got some work done on that novel. :)

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  4. Hmmmm,,,you'll need a super-soaker for that bank job and a silver Toyota with a souped-up engine (do people still soup up engines?) and hose that are just far enough off your skin tone to mess with identification. Maybe you can pay it forward a little more and someone'll loan you the Toyota.

    I got nothing.

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  5. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear this post was a silent cry for help in the furtherance of your secret desire to be the first female Blofeld. You know, minus the bald.

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  6. It was nice of you to call Maretha and let her know that she had the wrong person.

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  7. See? And you pretend to be such a hard-ass. :-)

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  8. You should D.B. Cooper this job.

    And I think you do a pretty good job in the PIF department already. I wouldn't worry too much.

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  9. Good job, Lisa. :) Sometimes it's the little kindnesses that can make a big difference to folks.

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  10. Thank goodness you can use your powers for the forces of evil again.
    Whew!

    I just passed The Honest Scrap award on to you. It was wicked, I know, but I couldn't help it.

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  11. Spreading kindness will come back to you.

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  12. I had no idea it was Pay It Forward Day! Good for you!

    And good thing the lady who texted you her flight information realized it was the wrong number after you called her!

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  13. Now, back to the bank robbery! ;)

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  14. now does it mean, cuz i read this, i have to do it too?? whine whine...................................................ok, if someone needs something at the store, i'll help them if i can but probably won't be there....can i plant my rose in my pot and think it's helping my rose to be a better rose for the other rose?

    how about this....i am working o n some drawing for gkids....can i work on them w/o helping out hubby in garden cuz it's for gkids afterall? and then make him some sweet tea and pick our lemons for him and not ask him to do it? how's that...........

    hell, i feel i just really should delete but dont believe in it so won't.........then it's getting paid forward and the next person won't either because of my excellente example and so on and so on.....gotit.
    now to sleep perchance to sleep......
    ♥to you, sweet soul-full woman that you are....don't hide it, it just beams from every pore.......xoxo 000 have you seen what susan's making, hmmm? ;)

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And then you say....

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