Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Sweet Scent of Friendship

 When I talk about you guys, and I do (it's all good! promise!), MathMan feigns interest enough to occasionally look up from his Calculus book although he might just be looking at my boobs.  The kids, on the other hand, feel compelled to qualify the relationship.  "So how do you know this person?"  Sometimes the word "know" gets air quotes.

You'd think they'd be so used to me blogging that it wouldn't matter, but for some reason it does.  I point out to them that even though I've never actually met this person or that person, having read them for a year, two, three even four in some cases, I probably know more about them than any of the friends I've made without the aid of a monitor and a motherboard.

It's an old debate for us, isn't it?  This idea of who's a real friend.  What constitutes real?  For me, what makes the friendship real is that they come to matter to me.  I care what happens to them.

Well, this weekend, I had the opportunity to add another of you to the column of people with whom I've actually visited.  For real.  I got to hang out with Fragrant Liar.   I even got to meet Miss America and Destructo and FL's daughter and son in law and the newest FL grandgirl.

FL is as funny and interesting and gorgeous as I expected her to be - even more so.  MathMan went with me because I'm still not allowed to cross the county line without supervision.  While he watched football and goofed around with FL's baby granddaughter, Fragrant Liar and I chatted mostly about....writing!  Quelle surprise.

It was so nice to talk to someone who understands the part-neurosis part-gift that is the need to write and more - the desire to be published.  We talked about current projects and future ones.  She's ahead of me in the process of finding an agent and getting published so it was really helpful for me to hear about how she'd done things.

This woman is going places.  I'm sure of it.  

This made me think that I really ought to make more of an effort to find a writers' group around here, but that would require me to put on a bra and interact with people.  Ah, there's the rub.....

Writing is a solitary thing, to be sure, but it's the human connection I find most interesting.  And each time I visit one of you, I find new things to think about, elements that could become part of story or the seed of an idea that might grow.  So thank you for that. 

And to Fragrant Liar, it was so good to meet you!  I hope we can do it again sometime soon.

Have you met online friends in the real world?  Was it what you expected? 


  1. Dude, her hair looks even better than on her blog.

    (I need a hair cut.)

    I'm so glad y'all got to meet up. :) Having writer friends is invaluable.


  2. Yes I have - a few bloggers are friends IRL anyway...but we had a blog gathering here in MN of a few bloggers and it was DARN fun.

    MNMom and WhiskeyMarie do NOT disappoint.

  3. A person I met online is now one of my dearest friends in the world.

  4. I am planning exactly (well, not EXACTLY but overlappingly) this topic tomorrow. Writer friendships are different, aren't they? I've met probably a dozen of my online friends, and in every case, I feel like they know me better than people in the real world... because I bond through writing.

  5. I agree. Online friends can be very valuable for writers -- and also for moms!

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  7. Last year I met a blogger friend who has a kid the same age as Zeke -- we sort of go through the foibles of raising a toddler together. We had a fabulous time. And I'm planning on meeting you in a few weeks -- can't wait!

  8. Who says you have to wear a bra? When I meet people, I never do.

  9. Hey! I'm all up in highlights!

    Lisa, I LOVED meeting you. I feel the same way about meeting up with other bloggers. I feel like I've known you for years, and what a great feeling it is. Hope we get to hang out next time I visit Atlanta, and that if you come to Florida, you come hang out.

    MathMan is a cutie. Please tell him thanks for carting you across the county line.

    Now get writing! ;-)

  10. Does going abroad to travel with a guy you met on a dating site count?

    I've not actually met any of my blogger pals yet - but I would love to meet quite a few of them. You connect with each other - often for some really deep reasons, and you share some things in common that really differs little than meeting a new friend in the "real" world.

  11. I haven't yet met a single online friend, but I dream of it...

  12. Well, that preacher came to see me and it ended badly as you may remember. I really should publish that story.

  13. It was better than expected. Ever.

  14. la Belette Rouge is the only mutual blogger friend I've met and her company was even more delightful than I could have imagined. I'd love to meet a few others (esp you for instance) but sometimes I suspect a little of me goes a long way for most.

  15. I have met people from "online" and thankfully none of been have been stalkers.
    I must be a fairly good judge of character, because I tend to gravitate to like minded people and they are exactly like they seem online. I've been on group message boards and met those people and a couple of bloggers too. Living near Orlando helps, too many people come there to spend their money...ha ha.
    When my travels take me through GA, I know we're meeting up!!
    Oh and my kids ask me those questions too.....but they've become more accepting of it. Years ago they they thought I was nuts.

  16. well you know my story pretty well and you and I have talked about this before.

    how odd and at the same time so very, very cool it is for you or I or someone else to someone else to use a term like friend or in our case family without ever meeting them.

    It gives me (not to sound sappy) hope for all of us. That maybe somewhere between the Koran burnings and wars and horrible situations we all may find ourselves in that we still have the ability as human beings to connect to one another.

    (sorry dint mean to preach)

    And I got the "bra" rub insinuation lol!

    One day my car will break down where you are and I am not looking forward to the bill but looking forward to a dipped cone with you, Doug, and the offspring at the nearest DQ

  17. You are one blogger that I know I will meet. I have met many blogger friends IRL and it has been a wonderful experience. It was so great to meet Phantsythat in person.

  18. Oh yay! I'm thrilled your meet up went so well!

    "Have you met online friends in the real world? Was it what you expected?"

    Yes, and yes. It was even better than I expected!

  19. Put on a bra? Isn't lipstick enough? Kidding. That said, I don't even own a bra (and if I did, trust me, underwire would not be necessary).

    As for meeting online blogging friends in person? I have. Met Fran, DCap, Morse and Spartacus. Hell, Watertiger was there too. And everyone was fabulous. Every single one. I think we learn a lot about each other online, more than we realize.

  20. Come on!!! I thought me and Mathman had a connection through you. Surely he gets it when you tell him of my words. (That is, of course, assuming that you even tell him.) I even got excited when you used QUElle surprise. I thought that was in some way a hidden tribute to me. That was until I did a Google search on what it means.

    But I'm with you on Fragrant Liar. (I just read this again and that didn't sound right.) I love her writing. I have been reading her work for several months now and she doesn't disappoint!

  21. I have met 5 or 6 local bloggers IRL, and have become great friends with two of them. We get along so well that it's like we're family. Without the fighting and hopes of an inheritance.

    I seem to flock to kindred, warped spirits. I wouldn't have it any other way.


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