Monday, January 10, 2011

Unemployment Diary: Uncle!!!

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So it is."
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Eeyore.
"However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."

I'll be honest with you. I considered not writing because how much more can I say on this subject without sprouting long ears and a pinned tail from my backside?

This is distressing because I never identified with Eeyore before.  I see myself as a charming melange of Tigger's exuberance and Pooh's steady cheerfulness with dashes of equal parts Piglet's anxieties and Rabbit's control issues and clenched anus.

The word dash is subject to interpretation.  The word anus is not.

But now, I need a bow for my tail because I am Eeyore.

As Monday comes to a close, I should be writing to tell you how things were resolved regarding the unemployment issue, but resolution is postponed.  What couldn't be addressed over the phone on Friday because of "privacy" issues, couldn't be dealt with today because of five inches of snow otherwise known as a weather emergency here in Georgia.

School closings were announced last night in anticipation of inclement weather.

Inclement weather sounds like your kindly great uncle with those owlish glasses and loose dentures.  This was more like a weather rave with a light show, thumping music and confetti falling into your hair and making it hard to see. The snow started lightly around 9:00, and by midnight, everything was sparkling white.  The brightest lightening I've ever seen streaked across the sky seconds before thunder rumbled around us causing the house to shake.

Georgia is not prepared for this kind of weather.  We don't experience it often enough to invest in snow removal equipment and material.  The way the economy is now, the state can't even afford to mow the sides of the road or pick up debris so when snow that wouldn't be considered significant in other places, better prepared places, falls here, we know what comes next.

Snow day!!!!

Although in this case, it means snow days.  Plural.  School has already been cancelled for tomorrow, as well.  And while this is fabulous news from the Yay, we can sleep in and do snowy things and drink hot chocolate standpoint, it caused me nail-chewing anxiety this morning as I phoned the Department of Labor to find out if the office was open.

You can guess the rest.

In the grand scheme of things, however, it's only money.  It's not life or death.  The world is full of horrors and tragedy. This is not a horror or tragedy.  It's snow and inconvenience and stress that will pass and be replaced with a good day followed by other good days and occasional bad days.

And every one of those days is a chance to be better, to be Pooh and Tigger and yes, Piglet and Rabbit.

"No Give and Take. No Exchange of Thought. It gets you nowhere, particularly if the other person's tail is only just in sight for the second half of the conversation."
Eeyore from "The House at Pooh Corner" by A. A. Milne

How do you pull yourself out of the tailspin?  Do you make up backstories for well-known characters?  You know.  Like Pooh smoked weed,   Tigger's energy came from a raging coke habit that he supported by bouncing in alleys for money,  Piglet popped Xanax like candy, Rabbit was a gambler and occasional huffer of cleaning supplies and Eeyore?  A total wino. Of course. 


  1. wonderful pictures, snowmen are free

  2. I identify too strongly with Eeyore to believe he drank. But he was clearly not keeping up with his anti-depressants.

    Like I said, I identify too strongly.

  3. I'd never considered the backstory on characters in children's books. Except the characters in the "Wizard of Oz", anyway. I'm convinced that they were all part of an acid trip, a la Lewis Carroll.

    I'm sorry for the snow/closed stuff around you. I'm in the same boat here. No school today OR tomorrow. Oh, and it STARTED SNOWING HERE at 4 PM today.

    Here's to a rapid resolution with the GDOL on...Tuesday or Wednesday. Wish I could make it better for you.

  4. You are such a great writer--so funny and intelligent.

    Oh the inconveniences. I hear you. Good ol' Uncle Inclement :).

  5. All I have to say is:

    Days, Weeks, Months. Who knows?
    -Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree

  6. so funny but not smiley funny - cuz i just got some eeyore fleece pants - and i rather started to feel like eeyore - why bother? - and they are really comfortable pants - and i almost feel guilty for liking them -

  7. I'd forgotten about Eeyore, or at any rate, how extreme he was, until my mom give Jordan a book on how Eeyore loses his tail. I've been him before, and I'm pretty sure he needed meds.

    I wish I could say relax and enjoy it, but I know that's advice that 1. I wouldn't be able to take, and 2. would make me want to punch the giver. So maybe...Liquor?

  8. I've always kind of identified with Piglet myself, having (once) been a small and somewhat nervous person. However, as I've aged I feel more Poohish. Look more Poohish too.

    I'm sure you'll soon be feeling Tiggerish again soon and that the unemployment thing will be resolved to your benefit. Enjoy the snow days...we're getting another foot dumped on us tomorrow night. I'm so sick of winter already.

    (I finally caught up with all the posts of yours I somehow missed since the last one I read!)

  9. My Eeyore is more on an emotional eater and prone to shutting himself up in his apartment with the curtains drawn as he vacillates between fantasies of greatness and of total and utter despair. He also is a fan of the Real Housewives franchise and has a fondness for Fig Newtsons. And no, I am not projecting.;-)

  10. oi. Sorry for your snow delay. If this were a civilized country, you wouldn't have to worry like this. I hope we live long enough to see it embrace civility, but I have my doubts....

  11. It's a fact: Snow is evil, best kept in the open plains where nary a creature stirs.

  12. I know this all well enough to recommend you post-date some of your own back story, the part that makes having to hunt squirrels for food seem like child's play. It will be helpful come suppertime when Nate inevitably becomes ravenous.

    At least lying to your kids is still free.


  13. And one of the worst things about the stress and real world crap is that it prevents you thoroughly enjoying what should be a "time out" moment with your family. I've also lost days of possible accidental splendor to job related fear and anxiety. More than a dash of Piglet.

    And personally, I see Rabbit as a secret maniac behind the wheel of a motorcar - like Toad of Toad Hall, but terribly afraid someone he knows will see him terrifying the countryside in his long black Daimler... It's chickens and geese that he openly triumphs over as he scatters them in narrow roads and streets. He keeps the car in a garage in another town, to keep his friends from finding out. Not even Christopher Robin knows. I only found out because I live in that town, and I saw him in the light outside the open bays, before he donned his goggles and canvas head covering, striding to the automobile in his long mustard colored duster. Once the car pulled out and roared away, the figure behind the wheel was unrecognizable, some driving fiend with possession glowing through his eyes and floating out over the horrified countryside in his maniacal laughter...

  14. That's a fine looking snowman you have there.

  15. "Inclement weather sounds like your kindly great uncle with those owlish glasses and loose dentures."

    That? Truly made me laugh out loud.

    At least making snow men is free. And fun.

  16. ok, enjoy the snow day with your kids fast becoming adults and try to forget tomorrow will be here before you know it.
    and interesting but never have i done the backstory to a story...maybe i should, maybe i could get a grip but doubtful! now i am wondering what's the matter with me, i don't do backstories, did you read steve's whole thing? backdoublefeature! i relate a little bit too much to reality, i'm afraid. ;)
    your ending to this saga is cheery and it is my hope you feel a tiny bit of it...the world is one horrid mess, sadly, dismally enough for too many books, and so, it is a good way to see, if it helps to stay a bit removed from one's own troubles, then it serves some purpose somehow perhaps? it also lends a bit of compassion for us all, including you, my sweet friend.
    and glad you have all those Pooh friends figured out for me now too, i have always wondered about Eeyore and you forgot Owl! now, i wonder what he's on...adderall with chocolate milk and pepsi or diet cherry cokes with a twists of liquid morphine, in the backseat of Rabbit's fowl-killing machine. and on that note, it's time to say xox [goodnight]. t.end

  17. sorry you are having anxiety. i also dunno which was more amusing, your post or your reader comments. i think i can sleep well now. i hope you will (or are) too.

  18. sorry you are having anxiety. i also dunno which was more amusing, your post or your reader comments. i think i can sleep well now. i hope you will (or are) too. oh and how come you all in the south are getting more snow than us up here in the 'great white north'?

  19. great snow man. What sort of bird is that?

  20. Just keep on keeping on. It can be so enervating to be in your situation when it seems nothing you do is of any use. In 1982 the "Weavers" had a reunion at Carnegie Hall and Lee Hays who was near death at the time was asked about how sad it was living under Reaganomics. He replied that there was little to do but keep trying and ended with, "I've had kidney stones and just like them, though painful this too will pass." Even the politicians in the good old USA will someday understand there will be no appreciable recovery till they start helping citizens rather than banks and trust funds.
    As for EEyore his overwhelming optimism often seems forced to me.

  21. Snow days are fun for kids, not so much for others especially in this area. We won't be driving anywhere until there is bare pavement as the way in and out of our apartment is like a bobsled run. I'll have to venture out today for some supplies, hopefully the carniceria y tienda across the street will be open.

  22. Have you thought about your own backstory? Think the fed goons will buy some of that in order to fork over more green?

  23. So sorry about the delay! Snow days are fabulous if you can get one. Our schools plan on 3 a year, but I seems to always have to go to work anyway... Hmph...

  24. Eeyore was for sure a drinker and a thinker. And he's way more interesting than that stupid (though sweet and cuddly) bear.

  25. Alice in Wonderland always conjured up backstories for me. :) So I get it.

    Oh and Puff the Magic Dragon too.

  26. Reading your recent posts I was reminded of an little story I once came across:

    Everything was terrible and nothing was working. Murphy's Law was working overtime and life seemed hopeless and full of despair.

    Then a voice spoke to me from heaven and said:
    "Rejoice and be glad, it could be worse."

    So I rejoiced and was glad ...
    and, verily, it got worse ...

  27. Ugh. Part of what makes dealing with bureaucracies painful is that everything is always on their terms no matter what happens.

  28. Have you ever wondered why it is that Frosty the Snowman looks forward to the sun?

  29. i always related to Eeyore with his perpetual longing and gloominess and his personal appreciation of what others call bad weather (when it rains and only he is standing at the cliff's edge to see a rainbow)
    and a little bit pooh, but i felt i wasn't wise enough to claim him as a personality.
    but i do have stuffed pooh in my closet. i gave him the top bunk without the mattress until the top bunk was broken and i had to tear it apart. now he's sitting comfortably in my closet.


And then you say....

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