Monday, February 28, 2011

Knock Knock Knock Lisa!

Source: Think Geek
I realize that I have been MIA here and on your blogs. I apologize. I've been reluctant to write here because I hate be one of those friends who takes and never gives. If I can't come read you, then I feel like an ass for posting.

Suddenly, life has taken on new dimensions. As in leaving the house and going out into public dimensions or, if I'm staying in, doing different things dimensions. Yesterday was used up reading the Sunday Atlanta Constitution Journal and providing running commentary for an only politely interested MathMan. I then pestered him to help me run the clothesline in the backyard. Actually, does complying with his request that I show him my breasts in exchange for his help negate pestering? Perhaps it was more like a bribe. I want a service, he wants a service, we each get what we wanted. Ahhhhh, that's what makes these relationships work, isn't it?

So I showed him both breasts with a little striptease for effect (Note: Austrian marches are not such great accompaniments to erotic displays) and he figured out how to run the clothesline from a tree to the deck so that I could hang heavy stuff without cloth touching ground. I love being married to a genius.

Speaking of which, that's something else we did this weekend, we watched seasons one and two of Big Bang Theory. Now, longtime readers know that most of the television I watch is on PBS or BBC and includes, but is not limited to murders, British accents, period costume and British humor or rather humour. I don't watch much American television anymore. The last time I watched Must See TV, Seinfeld was in its last season. I didn't even watch Friends faithfully by 1997. But Big Bang Theory is different. It's like M*A*S*H in that you have to have broad cultural knowledge to get a lot of the jokes. Unlike M*A*S*H, a lot of the jokes are based on science and math knowledge. For example, as we watched an episode from season two last night, MathMan noted that it had Euclid in the title. I only know that Euclid was a mathematician because I'm married to MathMan and he recently had a Euclid book checked out of the library.

Watching Johnny Galecki play Leonard is especially hilarious to me because he's so much like my husband. Even the whine. Thankfully MathMan is neither lactose intolerant nor a gamer, otherwise I'd never see him. The way I'm pushing the overstock of cereal and milk thanks to my outstanding couponing skills (Organic Valley skim for .69 per half gallon!!!), we'd have to hook MathMan up with a Wii in the bathroom. Not that he'd hate that, of course. He could sit in there and play Halo and shout for me to bring him Lactaid milkshakes and show him my boobies all day long. Except he wouldn't be playing Halo, he'd be watching those MIT guys teach calculus or creating complex graphs with his TI80 platinum or whatever that device is that like another appendage to him.

So let us recap the weekend:

Baseball game which I didn't even mention where Nate started Varsity as a freshman and played reasonably well. (Yes,I'm bragging.)
Wash hung on the new clothesline ($46 shaved off our last electric bill by not using the dryer so much)
Sunday's AJC for the coupons and the Vent which is full of assholes who provided me with plenty of material with which to annoy MathMan.
Big Bang Theory. Yes, we are late to this party.
And I ironed which is always a good sign that my writing mojo is on the upswing. I iron therefore I am.

How were your last few days? I know, if I read your blogs, I'd know, wouldn't I? Dang, I hate being that girlfriend. Even my laptop was sending me text messages asking me where I was.

I know. Here's what I need to make sure I have all the time in the world to do what I want to do...


  1. Your life sounds positively wholesome, with the clothes line and baseball and flashing breasts. Plus coupons! I think you should be a family values pundit.

    Pip is sick, but he managed to time his illness such that we still took him to the ballet on Saturday. I have begun substituting those freeze dried peas for chocolate and have lost a pound (awesome). Lots of tea to go around. Plus Amazon Prime has free Miss Marple, so we're doing pretty well, illness excepted. The doctor says there's no reason to be alarmed by Pip's illness, which makes the other bits of life easier to enjoy.

  2. Don't worry, absent friend. I don't come here to acquire another reader, I come here to read.

    Tell MathMan he's got a fangirl. Those glasses ...

  3. A few years back I did some work in Atlanta ... and those of us from out of town were amazed at the number of beer and boobs clubs. So many nudie dancers - kinda like Starbucks on every street.

    So, I ask, is flashing your boobs an Atlanta tradition? And if it is, then there's cash in them thar hills!

  4. Organic milk for HOW much??? I don't believe you.

  5. Count me in with Ubermilf--seriously, I pay $3.50 for a half gallon of organic milk. I don't use the stuff, but hubby won't stop, so I'm still buying it. .69 is a great deal so tell me how you did that!? What coupon, what store?

  6. Austrian marches?

    Glad to hear your breasts still delight :-)

  7. "Leaving the house and going out into public dimensions". Didn't you get the memo? You can't blog and leave the house. The two are mutually exclusive.;-)
    Perhaps you could do some videos again. That way your exits from the house could be used as blog fodder. Even a video of you ironing is a good substitute for blogging. Just want you to have options as I miss you when you are gone.

  8. I've never watched The Big Bang Theory, but I definitely LOVED the show M*A*S*H,

  9. Those pics... that is just uncanny! Too funny! And I love Big Bang Theory. Thank goodness it aired in Finland too.

    I join the chorus. $.69 organic milk? Even just plain old milk?

  10. well since i hardly post at all anymore you dont have to worry about me!
    but i still love coming here and reading your writing and catching up with you and the family

  11. Yes, boobs and baseball is a winner.

  12. Summer - Poor Pip! I hope he's better soon, but I am glad that other things are going well.

    Averil - Thank you, my friend. I'll tell MathMan. He'll be very pleased.

    Bill - You're right about the amount of nudity here in the Bible Belt Buckle. We're celebrating the temple. Now if I can get people to throw money....

    Ubermilf, Deb and Liberality - I don't usually buy organic milk because I'm so cheap, but here's the math (should be checked because I'm doing this without MathMan's help).

    1/2 gal. milk on sale at Publix = $3.50
    $1 off one 1/2 gal. O.V. milk manufacturer's coupon = $2.50
    Tearpad in the store for a coupon up to $2.50 off milk with purchase of 2 Oreos (they were on sale for $2.50 and they are a favorite here) plus I had a $1 off coupon 2 packages of Oreos.

    2 packages of Oreos = $5
    Minus $1 coupon
    Minus $2.50 coupon (milk)
    Minus $1.00 coupon (milk)

    So I guess you could say that I got 2 packages of Oreos and a half gallon of milk for $3. I think. Now I have a headache.

    Where is MathMan's calculator?

    Complicated and time consuming, but it saves.

  13. Susan - I know. I must plan better when stripping and thanks!

    LBR - Thank you for that. I could video my upcoming trip to CVS. I'm planning some serious savings!

    Meleah - Catch Big Bang. It's hilarious!

    Deb - Isn't Big Bang Theory great? I'm glad they showed it there, too. I can't believe we just started watching it.

    Steve - I owe you an email! I'm glad you still come around.

    MathMan - It was a great weekend, wasn't it?

  14. I'm still no good at couponing but I could definitely get into saving money by hanging the laundry out to dry. Unfortunately, the building we live in has rules against such behavior even though I think laundry would be an improvement over gas grills, resting bicycles, and assorted junk people don't have room for in their apartments.

    We've been re-watching the 'Life on Earth' series narrated by Richard Attenborough. Last night it was 'Jungles' which we'd been looking forward to until we saw a couple of scenes we hadn't remembered. Birds of paradise are great; large insects are gruesome so I'm not going there.

    I finally got around to posting a new Adventure just when I thought I never would.

    Many congratulations to Nate. Baseball bin berry good fun for me.

  15. Sounds like your weekend was multo produtivo!

    My Susan and I got to the Amherst Orchid Show on Saturday, then dropped $25 at the all-you-can-eat sushi bar, then spent the next eight hours trying to perfect our Tantric sex.

    I know that's lame, but getting it right in the first hour is for losers.

    So now my eyes are puffy, my wallet is empty and I'm walking like a cowboy.

    Oh, and I got two pair of jeans for $12 at Sal's. They're 28/30s, but I'll grow into them...

  16. So many people tell me I should be watching the Big Bang Theory. I guess I should try to find when it's on. I watch Modern Family and tell EVERYONE they need to watch it, so that must mean something. Anyway, we just do what we do to get along in life, don't we? You're good girl. xo

  17. I am sparring w the new home/auto ins people.
    We will save hundreds of dollars by loosing the old ins, but things I was told would be handled a month ago, now have my mortgage company sending me threatening letters-- show proof or we will add our underpaying overpriced shitty insurance to your monthly mortgage payments.
    Well sure, & you folks have a nice day too!

    So I bug the agent who gives a vague response... "We will take care of this" Yes, bitches, that is what you said a MONTH ago. I need to know you DID take care if it, not WILL, because the will take care of it promise, expired a few weeks ago!

    So I wrangle.... Hey they had a whole month to get it together. Now I will be the annoying multi message leaving person who will not let up till they do what they said they would do.
    Aha! My tactics worked.
    Got the e mail message with the verbiage I was looking for
    Gawd that was exhausting!

    I live in Western Oregon... it must have rained 2 inches today.... wet as wet can be.

    No way we can do an outside clothes line in the winter!

  18. What glasseye said.

    I barter exactly the same way with my partner. I find negotiating takes on a whole new edge once you're in the act. There's power in having your man by the balls.

  19. First, we come and we go. We are a free blogging group --- so you do whatever you need to do, we'll still be here!

    Ironing, vacuuming, lawn mowing, walking the dog -- these are the routines that keep my writer brain chugging down the track. I'm with "Le Belette Rouge" ... an ironing video would be sweet!

  20. I think everyone goes through commenting dry spells, and it shouldn't prevent you from blogging if you do have the energy/incentive to do so. I'll go through periods where I'm reading everyone's blogs but not commenting. Sometimes I just don't have a comment in me. :)

  21. Are you saying Vienna can't be sexy?

    You didn't stop by? Whew, now I don't feel bad for not posting. Our relationship is perfect!

  22. Being a permanent resident in a glass house, I can't throw stones at anyone the post...period! Even when I don't post, I still like to stop by and have a "cup of "D"" from time to time.

  23. OMG! If I knew you were ironing, I'd have been frantic! What were you thinking? Do you know how many yearly ER visits are the result of that hazard? If your clothes are wrinkly, just tell people it's classic 1976 gauze. Your skin will remain unscathed, and you'll be the hippest mom in the neighborhood.

  24. Lisa, it's been forever. I've been MIA too. I think my brain blew up -- couldn't take in anything more! ... but I've had the intention to visit your blog for weeks.

    Good Lord. TV. I think I last had cable in 1993. Good thing I read and have become so enamoured of the internet ;-D ... M*A*S*H was brilliant ... I was in college when the last episode aired -- the entire university pretty much shut down that eve, and my dorm's TV room was jammed to the rafters ...

    You and MathMan: what a pair. I love your stories of ordinary bliss (peek-a-boo breasts! a well-hung clothesline! Excellent telly!...) and blech (the price of gas! shrinking breasts! [mine, dammit] Crap TV and the price of cable!...)

    Brit humour just *floors* me. *Ab Fab* brought on what I am sure were seizures; in high school, a big Friday night thrill was to get ripped with the girls and watch *Monty Python* (and the Saturday night thrill was 'Ditto with SNL!') ... Brit and Canuck humour have this wicked drollness in common ...

    I never thought a math geek could be cute ... What did I know? Your MathMan is adorable, inside and out. Nothing better in these mad times than to have the love of your life right beside you :-) :-)

    Thanks for your stories of the blessed ordinary ... We'd all go batshit without 'em ...


  25. Well it sounds like you had a fabulous weekend. And busy. You visit when you visit. Hey, February--the cruelest month--is finally over.

  26. BBT is the best. Somewhere on my blog is a link to an interview i did with the cast and crew for a science magazine. They were the nicest guys.

  27. You found Leonard's doppelganger and you didn't have to go too far.


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