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Monday, May 23, 2011

Some people wear their history like a map on their face

At first I thought Dang, this post apocalyptic world looks a lot like the pre-apocalyptic. Then I realized, we'd been played again.

How disappointing. Rapture interruptus. Nothing changes and everything is different. I'm still in recovery over my End of The World food party. I held it in conjunction with my shame spiral as I lay draped over a"borrowed' chaise lounge and watched my life flash before me on the widescreen TV I "borrowed" in advance from the local furniture store. One of the last scenes is of me backing the Corolla toward the store's large front window with the banner proclaiming in fluorescent bubble font Rapture Sale Every 50% Off! Everything MUST Go!!!

So today we're back at it. I better go write those letters of apology. What a nuisance. I was really planning to go out with a bang.


Did it feel like Y2K all over again or what? What were you really looking forward to not having to do today, this week, month, year, lifetime?
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18 comments:

  1. The CrowMay 23, 2011 at 7:47 AM

    Good morning, Lisa! Glad you're still here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 7:52 AM

    I'm hours and hours ahead of you so I had more time to get used to being here! There was no talk at all in France of the Rapture. Never mind Y2K, it's all DSK here 24/7, merde...

    XO
    B

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fragrant LiarMay 23, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    Actually, I did relate the Nopocalypse to Y2Kaput. Nothing so heinous ever happens to me. I could almost feel depressed about that . . . ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Summer KinardMay 23, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    At least you didn't dye your hair or get an unfortunate tattoo.

    ReplyDelete
  5. DownithMay 23, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Rapture? More like Crapture.

    ReplyDelete
  6. willMay 23, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    I was levitating about 1000 feet above my house when I realized I was alone. So I quietly floated back to earth, changed out of my angel outfit and joined up with a neighbor's bar-b-que party. Thankfully everyone was drunk so they missed my areil feat. It's tough talking to boozers about an almost rapture. So I just drank some beer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. KulkuriMay 23, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    On Y2K my car died, this time nothing!! Had to wait several days because of the holiday and the weekend for the auto parts store to open so I could get the parts to resurrect the car.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    I'm kinda pissed there was no rapture. Like so many things lately, all that build-up resulting in a mouse sneeze. Yet another religious nut bites the dust --- what a shocker.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Susan TinerMay 23, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    Check out ABDPBT's post on the failed rapture. It's a hoot!

    http://abdpbt.com/blog/2011/05/23/to-do-in-wake-of-failed-rapture/

    ReplyDelete
  10. susanMay 23, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    I came late to the end of the world.

    Nowhere could a camel be found that could fit through the eye of the needle.

    That was awkward.

    If you need advice about how to prepare for next time it's here

    ReplyDelete
  11. Deb and BarbaraMay 23, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    Oh the beautiful difference between Y2K and the Rapture was not having to stock up on all those necessities. So much easier just to wait for the end to come while drinking margaritas and eating chips. Now back to the spring cleaning. sigh.
    B

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 10:55 PM

    I was all psyched to rifle through raptured-peace-nik-hippy floral backpacks for their stashes, man... what a bummer they didn't split!

    ReplyDelete
  13. gmbMay 23, 2011 at 11:58 PM

    Um, only the "special" folks were going to be raptured up naked to go/jesus/heaven. As a friend noted the idea of being stuck in heaven with a bunch of naked fundamentalists just makes hell seem that much better. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Randal GravesMay 24, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Was hoping to experience a rapturous event, but then remembered I'm married. Thank you thank you, I'll be here until December 21, 2012.

    ReplyDelete
  15. meleah rebeccahMay 24, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Yeah, all that hype leads to big disappointments. Can you believe some people actually quit their jobs, in light of the Rapture?

    ReplyDelete
  16. marty mankinsMay 24, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    I never felt played since I didn't believe the old money grubbing kook anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  17. kkrynoMay 25, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    What's so sad is that some people actually beleived in that sh*t whole-heartedly. Who knows what's in store for us? We just need to live our lives the best we can and go on.

    A rapture party would have been fun, though!

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMay 25, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    I can't believe I told my husband, "Last time, baby. You can put it anywhere."

    Now don't I feel foolish.

    ReplyDelete

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