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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

12 Signs You Have Too Many Cats

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1. You realize that you've been referring to scooping the litter box as panning for gold. For a while.

2. You find hissing a perfectly appropriate response to people who annoy you.

3. You call those little afternoon naps naps.

4. Maybe you drank from the toilet this morning, you're not telling.

5. Foreplay involves kneading your partner's thighs with your claws, gentle bites and purring. Lots and lots of purring.

6. You don't care if the salmon skin has been at the bottom of the trash can since yesterday's dinner.

7. Hang on, I have to scratch.

8. There's something caught in your throat and the only way to dislodge it is to get on your haunches and painfully hork it into one of your partner's best shoes.

9. When watching Tom and Jerry, you root for Tom.

10. It's not licking. It's grooming.

11. The clockwork mouse is a total bore but:

12. That catnip ball? Yeah.................roll that thing my way.
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17 comments:

  1. MommyLisaAugust 17, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    I love the Breakfast at Tiffany's cat mask. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    You're just Audrey Hepburn, that's all. What could be bad about that?

    I was a bloodhound in my previous life. I'm certain of this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. DownithAugust 17, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    I feel compelled to repeat "Downith does not need a cat."

    ReplyDelete
  4. mbarnatoAugust 17, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    The kneading / butt in face action is especially precious... Particularly when your partner is in bed with hands under covers and can't swat you off.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Deb and BarbaraAugust 17, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    Had a lotta catchin' up to do here. Thanks for the laughs. Oh, and thanks for The Cars.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hannah StephensonAugust 17, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    I am very pro-feline. When I feel very stressed out, I like to watch my cats and feel jealous of them :).

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    13. You think it's normal to walk around with bits of kitty litter stuck to the bottom of your barefeet.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lemon GloriaAugust 17, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Aaagh! Not entirely anti-cat but have always had allergies and so really not. a. cat. fan. Cannot relate!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Susan TinerAugust 17, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    Ours are coming in through the bathroom window these days, for food and naps. I keep it open just enough for cats to squeeze in, with some difficulty, but not raccoons. I like this arrangement better than the doorman thing we had going on. Adjusting to being a door man would be #13 on your list.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Geoffrey Kruse-SaffordAugust 17, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    "Too many cats" is a concept I just don't quite understand. They keep us humans humble.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Averil DeanAugust 17, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Hissing IS an appropriate response. (I just went into my boss's office and discovered her 2012 Ronald Reagan calendar already on the wall. She could not WAIT to see her god smiling down at her.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. meleah rebeccahAugust 17, 2011 at 6:19 PM

    very funny. My favorite was
    "9. You root for Tom."

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    Do you sit high on a perch looking down at all the little people? Then, yes, you definitely have too many cats.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 11:36 PM

    This cracked me up 12 times.

    I remember exactly what those masks smelled like. Is that the cat in me?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Linda PressmanAugust 18, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    Hi Lisa, long time no see. Big cat lover here. We adopted two sisters about 5 months ago and now our lives are only about them. Ho hum. Love the list!

    ReplyDelete
  16. sherry stanfa-stanleyAugust 18, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    Oh My God. Where are you? In my basement? My coat closet? Where?

    How do you know all these very personal facts about me?

    (And how many cats are you up to these days? Tell me it's more than four, so I can feel really normal and not at all eccentric.)

    ReplyDelete
  17. marty mankinsAugust 24, 2011 at 1:28 PM

    Great list.

    We had 4 cats at one time. Now just one, who turned 18 recently.

    ReplyDelete

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