Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Gleanings


I needed a break from the war. How are you guys?

 There is a theme here. I can't explain the sudden focus. Sometimes these things just happen organically.

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First an Aunt B Story because I mentioned her once and didn't follow through.

Aunt B told us how a friend of ours stopped by her house in the country. He was riding a bicycle and when he stopped to ask if the cousins were home, he propped his leg on the bottom porch step.

He wore those vintage 1980 gym shorts and clearly hadn't seen the point of wearing underpants. There was slippage. And then peekage.

I was maybe 13 years old or so and hung on every word of this tale.

Here was Aunt B's dilemma as she told it leaning against the breakfast bar in her kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hand. "What was I supposed to do if that thing winked at me? Wink back?"

Up until that moment, I was unaware that they winked.

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Lines that have made me snort with laughter today.

"A crooked penis can be interesting and the ball was probably up there somewhere." Some of you will recognize this.

"Nude wrestling?"
"It got my attention."
"I can see that."
"Whoever wins gets to wear the strap-on."
"And never was there ever a better prize."

 *************** 

And now I have to get back to writing. Not about penises.

What's keeping you at attention?

14 comments:

  1. "Lines ... snort ... laughter"

    Have you just revealed something else about yourself?

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  2. I am reading "The Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman", which has me contemplating bizarre p*rn and defecating into a hat.

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  3. The fact I had to ask an old boss for help....blah.

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  4. I died laughing this morning at the crooked penis comment. And I'm cracking up now just thinking about it.

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  5. Oh my word, you guys. I don't even know where to begin.

    Snort!

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  6. Have I never been winked at or never noticed? Huh. Weird question not to know, no?

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  7. not unless you like it to throw up on you.

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  8. I kept waiting for someone to ask her to elaborate about the crooked penis, but no one did. And I was far too afraid.

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  9. Lol, the shit that goes through your mind.

    I once was riding my bike, going commando and stopped to talk to a girl I knew from school.

    yep, I heard it curves a bit to the left a few months later.
    She was sitting on the curb when I wheeled up right in front of her.

    Probably from yanking on it for so long.

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  10. penis...such a clinical word. anyway Lisa, if a girl's gotta think of something to distract her, i say a penis is as good a distraction as any. you have a first rate mind. now try to stop thinking and try to keep writing. continue...

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  11. It actually made me stop to wonder if, in all my travels, I had ever come across a crooked penis. I admit, I'm a little disappointed that I have not.

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  12. A discourse on tallywackers? You just watched Porky's, didn't you.

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And then you say....

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