Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Adventures in Real Parenting: Occupy

It's that time of year again. I'm thinking about bringing the holiday decorations up from the garage and contemplating the green and red boxes for a couple of days before finally opening them up and remembering why it's fun to have the house looking festive.

We're stocked up with Hanukkah candles this year so I'm actually ahead of the game. Now I just need to find out when Hanukkah starts.

Chloe has returned home from school and is conducting her own form of Occupy. She's occupying the living room sofa.

The cats are occupying Chloe. She's warm and that horrid Lisa keeps the thermostat set way too low for their comfort. "If we had our own laptops to keep us warm," they mew petulantly, "we wouldn't complain about the 62 degree setting either."

They are not fond of the phrase hard cheese.

Sophie, who typically is Queen of the Living Room, is occupying her mother's side. She's disgruntled that her big sister has control of the television and the cats and she's determined to keep me informed of this fact. I respond unsatisfactorily  in her opinion. Read a book, go outside, find something to do, watch Reverend Al with me, but for the love of bob, stop complaining or you will be occupying your bedroom with no electronic devices to keep you company.

I must admit, her tactics are wearing me down. Today I will likely insist on some sisterly compromise. Sophie totally gets the idea of protest. Make enough noise to get power's attention. Make change.

I'm occupying a space somewhere between optimism and freaking the fuck out. I still haven't heard about the job, but remain positive. I've got one week left before I'm one of those 99ers you hear about. I'll have exhausted my unemployment benefits.

MathMan occupies his Calculus books. Or perhaps they occupy him.

And this kid:

Nathan on his little bike

 Is now occupying the driver's seat. He got his license yesterday.

Your turn.


  1. Yikes on the driver's licence. I still freak out about the boys behind the wheel.

    Have a great holiday!

  2. Ah, the Cold TV Remote War. I know it well. When I can get my older daughter to surrender it, she puts it on top of the console, where her little sister can't reach it.

    If I could get her to Occupy her homework and the younger one to Occupy her bedtime, I'd be a very happy 1% . . .

    (my fingers are crossed for the job--good luck!)

  3. Chanukah/Hanukkah is next week.

    They're trying now to sell me a Rolex. I didn't want one of those things when I had the money.

  4. I am occupying the Stress Zone, mostly unnecessarily (but not entirely). One thing I'm slowly learning about myself is that I seem to be incapable of not finding something to stress the fuck out about at all times. This is a bit concerning.

  5. Quite glad I've achieved minimum safe distance.

    Re: the job. Rabid weasels are a no-go, but I think we can clone the Enzyte guy, that ought to frighten them into hiring you.

  6. D. is right; Hannukah begins December 21.

    Yet another driver? It just isn't possible. You and I are the same age and I've only been driving a year or two, right? Isn't it 1983?

    I am currently Occupying a space somewhere between, "I'm pretty happy with the decisions I just made" and "What the hell was I thinking?!?" Which, I am sure, you understand. That and the occasional space I occupy that is crowded by would-be writers.

    Cheers to you. I'd say "remove the couch" as a way of dealing with the children, but you'd have angry cats to contend with.

  7. Love the wagon video, Lisa! Fingers crossed for your job and hunker down for the two-weeks-of-non-stop-kids. I'm thinking of developing a case of laryngitis before Friday as a passive-aggressive way of handling the relentless requests for electronics from the youngster.

  8. what a cruel trick of timing...holidaze and all.....i am sure he has a good head on shoulders and detests speeding or you have no car in which he might try actual driving alone in.....either way, my prayers are with you....and him. happy all of them! xoxoxoxo

  9. I like the picture of the ladies with the Christmas tree hats. If that job you interviewed for has photoshop skills as a requirement you're a shoo-in. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and may your occupiers sort out their entertainment differences.

  10. ho ho ho...but i can't relate to the kids stuff...can to the cats...and i have some very good parties to attend which is the only good thing about xmas as far as i can tell 'cause it sure ain't all the money it costs all y'all, not to mention all the dreadful jolly music that's been playing since the middle of november. i do hope you get the job - that would be the ultimate xmas gift. enjoy, continue...

  11. I didn't know my drivers' test was being taped. And then to put it on the innernets!! That's just plain rude!:)

  12. Loved the ladies with chrissy hats, but just can't bring myself to go out to the woodshed and find the bits of the tree in some box. My kids are driving me nuts these days, all so selfish and unconcerned and me caring less and less that the house is a MESS. Yesterday my editor drove me completely crazy over my back cover blurb and I took it out on EVERYONE.

  13. My children are occupying their caves, for the most part. The little guy tends to occupy my bed, where I try to hide what I'm writing from an inquisitive pair of eyes.

    Right now I'm occupying my desk. And that's all she wrote.

  14. I wondered why brother and big sister weren't fighting over the TV - it's because boy is on the road. I keep our house at 65 and everyone huddles under blankets but we have 4 tvs so that keeps the fighting down.

  15. I am occupying some imaginary Scarlett place where I'll think about it tomorrow.

  16. I had a teensy wee sip of Irish Cream, but I am such a cheap date that by the time I scrolled through the comments, I had forgotten the question. The good news is that my face is very warm from the seriously small dab of Irish Cream and also cooking a mondo large pot of chicken soup. We're occupying our own small soup kitchen here. If eating soup for several days is poverty, it's a very rich form of it!

    Hope you all have a commodious holiday. If that word means what I think it means. Must stop typing now because clearly am affected by the very smallest dram of liqueur.

  17. Best of luck on the job! Happy holidays to you and yours!

  18. I have taken a half assed approach to X mas. We will put up the "recycled (fake) tree, and lights, but putting up ornaments sounds like work. Not gonna happen. Festive enough, dammit.
    My kids are total opposites. So when they began to drive one was a lead foot, the other found it overwhelmingly scary!
    Leadfoot thought I was nagging, telling him to back off & leave space between him & the car in front of him. He ignored me. Then he got a moving violation ticket for *following too close* & that raised his ins rate. He was paying for his own insurance, so it was his lesson to learn. That kid always had to learn the hard way!

    I hope the job comes through for you!

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  20. I am occupying my living room couch, watching Home Alone 3 with The Nooze.

    I am also occupying that oh, so uncomfortable spot that involves a weekend, anxiety, and the semi-fear associated with my doctor calling with Test Results.

  21. Hanukkah starts either December 20t, or the 21st. xoxox

  22. The job. I'm all over the job. Occupy the job.

    Cletus is occupying the kitchen right now because it is beyond disgusting and that is her job (otherwise I unleash the hell hounds in her general direction right about midnight).

    62 degrees calls for more cats. I take that back because then you'd need a mouse colony starter kit to feed them and trust me on this, you do NOT want to go there. The cats will never keep up and then you'd have to collect them all and give them to that neighbor you don't like. Right about when I'm unleashing the hell hounds.

    You should let Chloe answer the phone more often.

    Driver's license. Rats. Just Rats and that's all I got to say about that.


  23. Let me clarify. You collect the mice and give them to the neighbor, not the cats. The cats you keep.

    This is easier than it sounds.

  24. beaming good will. Tell Sophie she is lucky - Boo Boo's big sis is home from college and doesn't even come stay here to hang with her. I told her we were having Boo Boo's birthday dinner before she went back to school - her response? "I might have to work." That means she will ASK to work that day, January 7, becuase you she knows when the party is....

  25. I heard on NPR today that the word for 2011 is OCCUPY. Your girls are clearly in the know.


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