Saturday, June 9, 2012

Find the hidden elephant


My mother had it wrong. People without a lick of sense or class are not shunned by society. Some even get their own TV shows.

Every online platform quickly becomes a place to market things.

Chewed gum carelessly wrapped in a tissue and left in a hot car for the entire day will quickly attach itself to every surface - animate and inanimate - you come in contact with after you grab that same tissue while sneezing.

Chewed gum is not so easy to get out of your nose hairs.

I should probably switch to breath mints.

The Vermont Country Store catalog is retro-lover's wet dream. And you can order something from it to clean up after yourself, too.

People who do Calculus to unwind before they go to bed are (fill in the blank).

There is no such thing as a comfortable underwire bra.

Clumpers on Facebook. Who else gets bored with this?

Over to you...


36 comments:

  1. At first glance I thought Nut Goodie was a brand of condoms.

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    Replies
    1. That is a perfectly reasonable mistake, Bill.

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  2. People who do Calculus to unwind before they go to bed are not me.

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    1. People who do Calculus to unwind before they go to bed are not me either, Sarah. But they are very sexy once their all "unwound." ;-D

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    2. They're not their. I blame the early hour!

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  3. My mother was convinced that underwire bras cause breast cancer. Ridiculous, of course, but to this day I have never worn one.

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    1. Your mother was a wise woman. We know this. Something that feels as bad as an underwire bra cannot be good for you.

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    2. I would like Mac's mom. A LOT. After years of wearing the U-W, I decided to stop. I would rather stomp through life with a mono-boob (thanks to a sports bra) than wear an underwire for ANY length of time.

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  4. Pittsburgh ~ home of the Clark Bar ~ had the candy prominently advertised in a huge lit sign downtown... capitalizing on one of few sweet things about the city.

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    1. It's also one of my favorite candy bars, Maureen. And that wrapper is iconic.

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    2. Clark Bars and Baby Ruths were the best!
      ~

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    3. Thunder - Clark Bars and Baby Ruths. Add the now discontinued Marathon Bar and you've got my three all-time favorites.

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  5. Replies
    1. You know it, baby. Mathy and sexy, a dangerous combination.

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  6. I'm finding myself nostalgic for British world power, reading Darwin's Voyage of the Beagle. It's nice to know that American imperial presumption, racism, and occasional obduracy isn't something new. It's also a wonder to read Darwin's marvel at a world still in need of exploring; there was little that wasn't interesting to him even if, on occasion, the wonder turned to disgust because it just wasn't wonderful enough.

    My wife doesn't like the red freezer pops, which I both do not understand and for which I am grateful. More for me.

    Do any of your cats actually vocalize their disgust with you? Casper, it seems, needs to make clear how horrible we are.

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    1. Geoffrey - You're reading about Darwin. No wonder Casper is upset. He's afraid you're going to learn the secrets of feline evolution and mind control.

      To answer your question specifically, yes. Our cats vocalize their disgust, disdain and distrust. Especially the part-Siamese cats. Their tolerance for we Westerners is abysmal and they are very loud and frequent about it.

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    2. And what? Lisa doesn't like the red freezer pops? Around here, it's the orange what are the last to go.

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  7. What are Clumpers on Facebook?? Is that a new cat litter??????

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    1. Ha! Kulkuri, that could be a great name for cat litter. What I call Clumpers are those friends who put up post after post, after link, after link, after photo with clever saying,......they jam up the wall in great clumps. Space it out, people. Give my other friends a chance to be silently judged by me!

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  8. Nut Goodie! Invented and made in beautiful St. Paul... I echo the Clumpers question... Unless I'm too delicate to know the answer.

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    1. NFH, mmmmm the Nut Goodie is an all-to-infrequent treat. I have to search them out online or in special candy shops.

      Please see above for the Clumpers explanation.

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  9. I used to long for Cadbury's Fruit and Nut Bars and Smarties but now I can buy them whenever I like I just can't be bothered. Are people strange in general or is it just me?

    For years one of my favorite mailbox treats was getting the Vermont Country Store catalog.

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    1. susan, people are strange, I think. I like your kind of strange. And I'm gratified to know that you, too, once found the Vermont Country Store catalog to be a treat. We can be strange together.

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  10. Lucky strikes candy cigs! Back when it was safe (and cool) to smoke.

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    1. shrink - now they're called "candy sticks." I've loved them as long as I can remember. We also liked the gum cigarettes that were coated in cornstarch. When you blew on them, they made smoke.

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  11. Before I read Kulkuri's comment, I wondered the same thing and even looked it up.

    Mainly, I was worried I might be one, but no. That is one affliction I do not possess. I have, however, done Calculus in bed, but not out of non-obligation.... I may be perverted, but I'm not that perverted (which I, of course, mean in the most complimentary, even envious, way).

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    1. Freida, I spent some time reading the clump-related definitions. Mine is decidedly more boring and pedestrian.

      You're definitely not a clumper either of the litter box or Facebook variety. We can discuss perversions offline. ;-)

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  12. Everyone is talking about a lot of stuff and I still can't find the stupid elephant!

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    1. Here's a hint, Que, about the elephant. It's on the Vermont Country Store website.

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  13. Love the classic toys at VT Country Store! Thanks for the tip.

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  14. Candy cigs and Clove gum. Retro candy and gum always works for me. And locally, these are found at the Cracker Barrel.

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  15. I'll take Facebook clumpers over Facebook "Look I just played 16 rounds of 5 individually stupid Find the Gem/Feed the Guinea Pig/Sheer the Sheep; please join me by signing up and sharing all your personal information with the entirety of the Internet" game players. Of course, people who play those games and broadcast the results often do so in clumps, too. In short: We're all screwed.

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  16. i hide my clumpers--all of them--but i get the most enjoyment hiding the clumpers who post graphic-after-graphic of random life philosophies or snarky sayings.

    and while i try to be diplomatic and hear all opinions, i only allow one negative obama post per friend...after that they get hidden too. it's my facebook and i'll do what i want.

    and the vermont country store?! you nailed it. their spotlight product is the one nightwear i can't live without (eileen west wear). (i buy it on ebay for the reduced prices. i'm not of the economical status to spend $80 on a gown...yet...)

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  17. "Chewed gum is not so easy to get out of your nose hairs."

    That made me laugh out loud, for REAL.

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  18. My husband is a fan of http://www.old52.com/. They have some fun stuff there, too.

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  19. Love Vermont Country store - have been there in person several times in fact!

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And then you say....

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