Thursday, November 22, 2012

Before the tryptophan takes hold

So I hear that something unfortunate will happen to me if I don't say something about gratitude. And bob forbid I appear an ungrateful lout. So here we go - some of the things for which I am grateful. Please note: These are some of the things. Not all of them. It would take me forever to list them all and would likely horrify my children that I have once again mentioned stuff like that online.

1. Family and friends, continued good health and happiness. What is life, after all, without these?

2. My job. I'm pleased to have it and happy to like it.

2.1. I'm also grateful that I still have my job after telling the Master Chairman (aka the top guy) that I'd probably make a fuss over him like the one I made over a coworker's dog if he licked my face, too.

3. I'm thankful that Chloe is home so that I can hear her say things like "I'm pre-gaming our pizza dinner with a bagel." and "Vodka sounds fine to me."

4.  I'm grateful for MathMan's fitness so that he'll be around to appreciate my passive aggressive behavior for many years to come.

5. Art of all kinds and the artists who create it. Again I ask, what would life be without these things?

6.  The ceasefire between Israel and the Palestinians. For the obvious reasons, of course.  But also because Chloe is scheduled to take her heritage tour next month. She'll be gone for ten days and I don't think I can go that long without sleep. Also too, my calls and emails to Bibi continue to be ignored.

7. Faux Spanx aka Fanx. Especially after today's meal. Holy cats. I'm fifty percent pie right now.

8. The internet. It's brought so much into my life.

9. The restorative properties of laughter.

10. I'm thrilled and grateful to have my first published piece in an anthology of wonderful, funny writers. Special thanks to DC Stanfa who read my work at the urging of her sister Sherry and asked me to be a part of Fifty Shades of Funny. (An entire post is yet to come on that, but for now you can learn more on the website. You can also purchase the book on Amazon.)

Okay, let me say that one more time --- I'm published!!!!!!

And I'm fall down on the floor grateful. Don't even try to pick me up. Just bring pie. Fork optional.

And of course, I'm grateful to all of you who come here and read and encourage me to keep writing and living and loving and laughing. You've helped us out when we needed it most. You've been my rock, my touchstone, my classroom full of giggling peers as I perform the beloved duties of Class Clown.

Gratitude doesn't seem a big enough word.

With love and stuffing and a side of mashed potatoes,


P.S.  Between now and midnight, Cyber Monday November 26 every Amazon book order of Fifty Shades of Funny softcover or Kindle order will be eligible for a free beach vacation ! It includes a week at the Cottages of Shipwreck in Hilton Head, a four star resort.. and 50,000 US Airways miles--typically good for 2 round-way tickets in the US. 

The instructions are as follows: Purchase a soft book or Kindle version between Thursday November 22 2012 and midnight Monday November 26 and email a copy of the receipt to 

One random winner will be chosen. Here's a link to the cottages website. The vacation week is August 31-September 7 2013.

Purchase the book 


  1. wow pretty good deal on that book/vacation...smiles...its good to be grateful...i am hurting right now...dont think i can even say the word pie...smiles. happy thanksgiving...pass the tums....

  2. I'm 65% scalloped pearl onions, but it's a good hurt.

    Happy Thanksgiving Recovery!

  3. Love. Happy Thanksgiving Lisa.

  4. Congrats, lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D And great list. :)

  5. Ah turkey. I still miss Thanksgiving.

    Congratulations on the book! It's not for sale over here - will bookmark for when I'm next on the other side. Best I could do was "look inside" on Amazon over there - love your title and know that the piece will be great.

    Happy Thanksgiving Lisa.

  6. Super congrats on being published. I know that is a wonderful thing to a writer. We knew you were good, and now an even larger audience will learn of your talent. Blessed Thanksgiving lisa to you and yours.

  7. Congratulations on the book!

    As for the fanx, I'm not sure how you could bear to be in the same room with them, much less wear them. May I suggest my favorite post-Thanksgiving attire: a pair of yoga pants the next size bigger. That way you can be 100% pie.

  8. I'm delighted to know you're published. Hurray! I can't get it here yet either but Hurray! May this just be the first of many. Hurray!

  9. Wow. Congrats on being published. Looks like you had a fantabulous Thanksgiving.

  10. Congrats on being published.

  11. Welcome to the machine. Have a cigar. (I mean, congratulations and felicitations and deadline exacerbations, bien sûr)

  12. OMG!!! *shouting* I AM SOOOFA KING HAPPY FOR YOU!! *standing ovation*

  13. You are soooo funny. Glad you landed in a book of humor (where you belong)... it is your gift.
    This year I an thankful to have quit my crappy job & to work for an employer who pays better, yet does not hound me give generously (while on a year long wage freeze!). Go figure-- I decided to donate to the Food Bank & Red Cross all by myself. United Way takes too much of the donation pie for admin costs- which is why I think the Red Cross rocks.
    I'm thankful to have finally broken the shackles of that corporate hell, and really do something helpful & meaningful. Oh! What a huge & happy change.
    Best wishes.

  14. What you said! (perfectly, of course) And I will add that I'm glad I don't live close to my in-laws ---- we were there for 3 nights over Thanksgiving and it went like this: Night one, I went to bed with an anxiety attack and got not a blinker of sleep. Night two I went to bed in tears. Night three I went to bed hopping mad. I'm thankful to live far far away so I can love them conditionally.

    And congrats again on the publication!!!! Feels pretty damned good, eh? ;-)

  15. I'm thankful that I know the sweet bundle of smart, funny and talented that is you Lisa.

  16. Congratulations on the publication!! You rock.

    Also, I bow down to Chloe's pregaming plan. Carbs 4eva.

  17. OMG! I just searched 'published' on your blog. Damn, the only thing I hate about being back in graduate school is that there's no time to read my favorite blogs! I'm so very happy for you Lisa and of course I'll buy the book! xoxo


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