Tuesday, October 29, 2013

A lot less bolder


"Now sweet sixteen's turned thirty-one, get to feeling weary when the work day's done...."

Those lyrics opened a short story I wrote in high school.

The story was about a woman who found her life so unbearable that she packed her bags, carefully placed them into the trunk of her car and drove away from her husband and children. At the conclusion of that story, the woman returned home before anyone had even noticed she'd left.

That story, along with several others,  now resides in a box, placed carefully in the trunk of my car on day a couple of months ago.  They remain there because I am not yet ready to unpack all the bits of my life I saw fit to carry with me when I left.

Turns out I wrote my own future in that wreck of short story. After a couple of attempts to live out those words written in the looping script of my eighteen year old self, I finally broke free of the gravitational pull of security and drove away.

My marriage, that once seemingly indestructible thing, finally gave way to the slow, steady erosion of time and dysfunction. Lovers of symmetry, we gave ourselves a final divorce hearing on our 25th wedding anniversary. Contrarians to the end, we had no use for the tradition of silver on that day. No, we went with paper and ink, signatures on the line.

Let it be Decreed and all that. Dissolved like sugar. The solution was dissolution.

34 comments:

  1. I am suddenly at a loss for words. I was living with the belief that you two would make it...congrats on the 25 years and the new beginning. Stay well dear one, stay well.

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    1. Thank you, Joanne. Thankfully, we've parted as the best of friends.

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    2. 25 years is a success in anyone's books. And that you could part friends. Outstanding. I wish you every happiness, Lisa.

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  2. Blimey, I wasn't expecting that, even though I've a box of my own. Good luck :)

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    1. Thanks, Phil. I appreciate that. And I love it that you used the word "blimey."

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  3. it happens.
    and if you tried and realized it couldnt then what could you do.
    it does not make it any less painful
    and there is sure plenty of picking up to do
    but life does go on.
    and we can change the script.

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    1. Thank you, Brian. Yes, changing the script is very apropos.

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  4. I look forward to reading of your further adventures, Lisa.
    ~

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    1. Thank you, ITTDGY. Adventures? Oh, man. Where shall I begin?

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  5. Well holy hell. Just be sure to stay on the interwebs.

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  6. I admire you for acting with such courage when inaction would only have caused greater pain. Dissolution being the solution makes room for growth - at least we hope so.

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  7. All the hugs, Lisa, for wisdom and bravery and bittersweet times and just because.

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    1. I'll take those hugs, Sarah W. Thank you.

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  8. I'm so sorry to hear this.

    Wishing you luck, fortitude, and your usual great sense of humor.

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  9. Lisa, I'm sorry to hear this. Wishing you courage and luck and above all happiness.

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  10. A lot less bolder? Hell, I'd say you are one courageous woman. It may sound strange, but I am excited for you and your new life - for you to search and discover a new side of yourself. Big hugs and best of luck. If you make it up this way to visit a certain law school, please stop by.

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  11. Well, well, join the club :) You'll do alright and it's good to part friends rather than end up hating and regretting the rest of your life. Growing is always good!

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  12. Oh, Lisa. I'm sorry to see your marriage end--but what a gift to have that friendship still intact, and to wish each other well. The important thing now is to figure out exactly what you want from your life and get out there and make it happen. A world of possibility awaits.

    Sending hugs and lots of love.

    XOXO

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  13. Lisa, I wish you well in the next chapter. Here's to health and happiness and going your own way -- to the next leg of the journey, my friend.

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  14. Best to you Lisa...life goes by quickly, in all its messy glory. I think it's to be lived fully. I also think you're a great writer...

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  15. Oh...my ex and I are pretty good friends 6 years after the end of the marriage. As she said to my new partner when asked if she was done with me, "We were married for 22 years and had two kids...I'll never be done with him. If you mean, "Do I want him?'...he's all yours!"

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  16. Nearly 25 years of marriage and parting friends? Wow! That's the fucking brass ring, girlfriend. Congratulations. Having read you for several years now, I know of your struggles. Sounds like you are both very loving, special individuals who will go on to wonderful new chapters in your lives. I wish you all the best. Just keep writing, my friend. You are so very talented. Hugs!

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  17. I never quite know what to say when a long marriage ends. But I'll say that I hope for the absolute best for all involved. Will be watching further developments!

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  18. I do remember the year I was married...but not the day. I do not remember the year we separated, or the year we finally got around to the divorce. But, after all this time.... I still remember my first girlfriend's birthday. I always wonder what happened to her. Memory is not all it is knocked up to be.

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  19. At a loss for words. Glad you remain friends. Hope the kids get all the support they need.

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  20. OH MY WORD!! Lisa - I had NO IDEA you were going through this.

    *big fat hugs*

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  21. If I learned anything about the two of you from this space, it's that if this had to happen, you'd handle it with mutual respect and maturity.

    Warmest wishes for a fresh start for both of you, and grand adventures around the corner. Roll on life! xo

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  22. Happy Anniversary! Did I miss the date? :-) All will be well you gifted contrarian you!

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  23. Yes, Facebook said this, but this is really where I want to read about it. xoxoxoxoxo

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  24. Sometimes milestones have a stopping point. All the best for a fresh start in life.

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  25. My ex and I still remain good friends, more than a dozen years after parting ways. I hope the same for you. And I wish you all the best that a bright new future may bring. You deserve it, my friend.

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  26. May this coming year be a healing one for you; may it sparkle with joy; may it bring you peace.

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And then you say....

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