Adventures in Real Parenting: You Say Boredom, I Say Ennui

Originally posted on PoliTits in 2008.


The Spawn have been on spring break this week. It might be a break, but there's precious little spring to get excited about. Sure the weather is sorta mild, but each day has been rather gloomy.

The Dancer's plans to do sun damage to her skin have been foiled by clouds and cool breezes. The Actor has been mostly underfoot, moaning about his lack of available friends and pointing out what a loser of a mom I am for not buying into the guilt-driven "keep them perfectly and continually occupied" parenting method.

He's right. I do suck. But we all know this. I've made no secret of the fact that I find The Spawn highly inconvenient and taxing. In the words of many a southerner....."I love them, but......."

It's been a busy week for work and after a full day of catering to the needs of my organization, I'm either too spent for Mr. Energy's liking or he's whisked off to baseball practice or appointments with his therapist. Getting him to those things are MathMan's responsibility. It's his chance to spend some time with The Actor. And, trust me, after all day locked up with him, I need a break.

Have you noticed that I've not mentioned Cupcake? Well, except for an overnight here with her friend K, we've not seen Cupcake much since Friday. I expect a change of address postcard from her any day now.

Today has been an especially blah day, the accumulated grayness of the week has settled over 'Tits HQ since early this morning and neither The Actor, The Dancer, nor I have been able to shake the meh of ennui that has sunk into the deepest recesses of our bones. Even The Pussies for Peace are feeling it.

I think I'm coming down off an adrenaline high from yesterday's flurry of activity (good not bad). The Spawn are starting to feel the pull of having to go back to school and this break is going to go down in the memory book as a complete bust.

Between naps curled up among pillows and cats and the consumption of carbohydrates, we've been able to rouse our sleepy, dreary selves a bit to enjoy the company of one another. It's frankly why I love unstructured time with The Spawn. We have the best conversations when we're just knocking about.

(Alert: some of the following subject matter and language may be offensive because we can be quite offensive when left to our own devices.)

So far today we've discussed the following:

• The difference between being just plain retarded and very retarded.

• What would be the best word or words to shout out were one to be afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome.

• Are there any brownies left? Who ate most of the brownies last night?

• Why one cat's ass smells worse than another cat's ass.

• Doris Day's hair and wardrobe in The Man Who Knew Too Much.

• Is Onslow (Keeping Up Appearances) really tattooed or are those fakes?

• When is Cupcake coming home/does Cupcake have to come home?

• Why does our internet suck so badly?

• Why do Southerners pronounce words like INsurance and UMbrella instead of inSurance and umBrella?

• The proper color order for eating plain M&Ms

• Why did women stop wearing hats and gloves?

• What's the difference between a girdle and a corset?

• In To Be or Not to Be (with Jack Benny and Carole Lombard), why did the Germans speak English?

• Could The Actor answer the next call from a creditor or telemarketer? He was bored with us and wanted the chance to talk to someone else.

• Was I really going to eat just mashed potatoes for lunch?

• How many times could The Dancer make it to the tanning bed before prom? And why would I let her do that to herself?

• The merits of Taco Bell versus Sonic. Sonic won. Yummy Tots.

• What kind of cooties would The Dancer get if she finished off The Actor's M&Ms?

• Is the sun ever going to come out today?

• Do we really have to listen to that song because now it's going to be stuck in my head........

I realize that these days are numbered. Whether it's me who leaves first or them, these days of lazing about and talking about everything and nothing aren't going to last forever.

That's why I'm capturing them here.