Sunday, April 17, 2011

Alcohol is your yoga, baby

I didn't actually eat Quisp today.
I have five boxes left and I'm going to make them last.
Well, I thought I'd give you guys a couple of days rest after that last post. Nothing like slicing open one's chest for the world, right?

(utter lack of transition) I've been known to declare specific days as "days off." This never works and the eye rolling skills demonstrated by MathMan aren't for nothing. I deserve every roll of his root beer eyes, every knowing smirk. I have shown time and again that I am incapable of taking it easy.

So today I aimed to prove him and me wrong. I went into Sunday with a vengeance. I slept until 10a.m. It's 4:52 p.m. and I'm still in my pajamas and have done the bare minimum of ablutions aka brushing my teeth.

All this doing nothing has turned me into an eating machine. Hershey's kisses. Leftover honey chicken from the Dragon Garden. Welch's fruit snacks (made with real fruit), even real fruit - the fresh pineapple I crave with bananas, raspberries, and blackberries. Those amazing Frosted miniwheats with the mixed berry goo in the middle. Coffee. I could use some more coffee. Beer. I promised to make something for dinner, but I might renege on that because I'm just enjoying this break from the tedium far too much. Let them eat cereal! Let them eat Hostess cupcakes! Let them eat raw spaghetti! I don't care. There's thawed ground beef. They can get creative as far as I'm concerned. They will, too.

Day off. Me. Ass in chair, on bed, rolling around in the metaphorical clover with my honey.

I put the tray of my food debris outside the door like room service, but I'm afraid to open the door again to see if the children understood what that meant. They're not too smart when it comes to householdish things and they've rarely spent time in hotels with something as luxurious as room service so I doubt it. Yes, I know that's my fault for being too indulgent and doing too much for them. You don't have to tell me again.

I don't want to open the door because I know that I'll get pulled by the gravity of all that stuff I normally do that I'm not doing today as I stay in the sunny haven of the bedroom with a stack of books including The Key which you must read, the Atlanta Constitutional Journal with its seriously bizarre ad on the back page of the Jobs (ha, that's a laugh) section, the supersexy MathMan, naked photos of Johnny Galecki (yes, I looked them up when I found out they existed) a drawer full of candy and fruit snacks and the bathroom that completes the suite. Oh, and the dvds of Big Bang Theory and Midsomer Murders for when I must give my eyes a rest from all that reading.

I told you, I'm taking the day off! I don't want to get swept away by the have to stuff. Not today.

See, if I step out that door, I'll end up with a dishcloth in my hand or scooping the litter box again or being held hostage by cats who are always hungry or picking up the trail of crap left all over the house by my less than perfect children whose beds, I'm sure, remain unmade and who are wondering if their father and I have lost our minds because, like me, MathMan has stayed cozily and safely behind closed doors except for when he ventured out for some cold water from the fridge. Which reminds me, we could use a small refrigerator, a coffee maker and a microwave in here and then I would never have to leave this room.

I could get used to this just hanging out idea. It's been too long.

Thanks to all of you for the comments on that last post. I got one taker on the concept. Please visit Dale at his Place of Passion. He posted about where he writes and, I must tell you, it's beautiful, tidy, and tastefully-decorated. Thank you, Dale, for writing your great piece and showing us your writing place. If I ever visit, I won't be able to pee while you write.

I hope you're enjoying a day off, too. After listening to a TV conversation about how hard Americans work themselves (yes, even we Americans without paid jobs), I've decided to embrace the idea that down time is necessary to good health. Maybe I really can become the type of person who figures she'll look back on life and be glad for the laughs, the love and the experiences instead of how neat and tidy her house was. It's an aspiration, you know?


  1. I, uh, clicked the Galecki link. I will never look upon him in the same way.

    I feel a little dirty, though. I have adored him since he was on "Roseanne", and he's never really matured in my mind.

    Add the fact that he resembles both your spouse AND the lead of my Writer's Group...and...well...I feel like I have seen ALL THREE OF THEM that way.

    I may need a Silkwood shower to recover from this one.

  2. I seem to be pathologically incapable of lying around doing nothing - I feel my ass expanding with the passing of each sedentary hour. I'd rather actively "recreate" in pursuit of re-creation.

    Guess I'm too old to just sit there and piss away my few remaining years. ;)

  3. I love your hint-hint room service attempt! Update us in case that actually managed to work.

    I thought today was a "day off" and while I can't seem to determine that I did anything useful, I still feel exhausted and kind of stressed. Wonderful.

  4. What a perfect day! My husband is much better at shutting the outside world out. He tells me I'd be more successful if I just went on strike and refused the chores and incessant demands. Up 'til now I haven't been able to do it. One day, perhaps. I certainly fantasize about it.

  5. On Saturday I did the gardening in my pajamas and slippers. That was better than a month of Sundays. Ruined the slippers, though.

  6. This may post twice. Apologies, my previous comment disappeared.

    I am so glad you took the day off. You can't throw your guts at the screen, day after day, editing them as if they aren't yours, and expect to continually do that without a recharge.
    May I suggest, a large note left on the dishes in the hallway. "This goes to the kitchen. Thank you. The Management."

    Never underestimate what a little confusion may accomplish.

  7. We all need days like that. And Hershey Kisses....:)

  8. I don't usually get one of those days unless I'm sick, which makes me kind of enjoy being sick, in a sick way.

  9. I tried on Saturday - I slept until 9:03 am with the exception of the 6:33 am interruption by a five year old who needed to "show me something" in her room. I asked if it were the snow - she said "No." but when I went to look she swept her arm toward the wind and said, "See how pretty it is!" Then once I was up we cleaned her room and MY room, then stood in line for a $2 bill, some tootsie rolls and a teeny tiny sand pail, bookmark and ruler at our town's Easter Egg "Hunt", which is more of a PICK your eggs out of these laundry baskets thing.


    I am more tired now.

  10. I am SO happy you actually TOOK THE DAY OFF, for real. Everyone needs a day in bed, eating, resting, and not doing much else!

  11. Never.... never... never eat the Quisp. That stuff will make you glow like north of Tokyo! Plus... there are, really, more vitamins minerals and fiber in a glass of beer.... and the beer is probably cheaper, too. Just saying.

  12. When I have one of those days of doing as little as possible, as opposed to absolutely nothing, that also means I won't be blog posting either. It's beyond me how much you still get done doing nothing.

  13. After months of starts & stops, we are finally getting a new heat system installed. A swarm of different trades will invade our home.
    Oh yes, we will have electricians, insulation people in the attic running lines in the attic, people installing stuff in the house , under the crawl space & holy crap-- so much work to clear space of clutter & now they sprang the access to the crawl space card on us today... climb through an access hole in a closet. & they need to get at a wall in the garage. Oh crap! More stuff to have to move while also working full time. It's just not natural for people to have to move that much clutter & cleaning in such a condensed space of time.
    I have to have it all together for the wednesday blitz. I'm, going on strike after that.

  14. I would have commented earlier but I was on a day off! Thanks for the kind comment and for including that song, one I love. I will leave the room when you pee. Or you could just use the other bathroom and quit being so pushy!

    My blogging pal Alison took me up on the photo challenge the way I did you so one blog at a time Lisa!

  15. Love and Rockets FTW!

    And so is your ration of Quisp cereal. Only 5 boxes left.


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