I lay in bed and listen to that gurgle in my stomach. Was that the curried chicken? The $4 margaritas? Or the build your own nachos bar in the Hospitality Suite? The stress of being "on" all day as the meeting attendees needed me to be at the ready to deliver whatever they needed?
The gurgles grew into something not of this earth and I felt relieved at least that the hotel bathroom was located away from the room next door. On the other side of the wall was the room containing the ice machine. Oh wait. Was that sound the ice machine?
No. That was definitely my stomach. And those noises made the whirring - CaLUNK of the ice machine sound downright ladylike.
I crawled back into bed and looked at the illuminated clock. 2:36 a.m. In five short hours I would be sitting in a meeting, next to my boss, as I took minutes for a very long meeting.
Neither a gurgling stomach nor, dare I think it, gas would make for the optimum situation.
Ah, the joys of business travel.
Entire days entombed in latex to keep my curves in check. Sitting at attention for long stretches of time. Early mornings. Late nights. Full breakfasts of eggs, bacon, fruit and coffee. Fast food lunches eaten on the fly. Afternoon cookie breaks and soda pick-me-ups. Spicy dinners because I work with people who love Mexican and Asian food more than life itself. And the piece de resistance -- the open bar in the nightly Hospitality Suite.
Urp.
Thankfully, It's not just our bar that's well-stocked. We've learned to be prepared. Our meeting go-box is full of over the counter goodies.
Among those goodies are pain relievers, bottles of drinkable energy, gauze, adhesive bandages, alcohol wipes, intestinal globstoppers and, thank goodness, antacid and anti-gas products.
Apparently, I am not the only person who falls victim to overindulgence.
Early the next morning, I pawed through the box and came across the bottle of di·gel; an all-in-one antacid and anti-gas solution. It was brand new, unopened. I read the label:
Our specially formulated products handle everything from heartburn and acid indigestion, to upset stomach, bloating and even gas. di•gel is your all-in-one solution for digestive relief.
Score! I could kill two offensive birds with one freshmint tablet. Or two.
I popped a couple of chewables and got on with my day. Not once did I feel the need to excuse myself from the room in a big hurry or consider upon whom I could blame that smell. I created no foul smells or strange noises at all.
It was good thing, too, because that night was our last. Which meant that I'd hear on more than one occasion, "What are you drinking?" and vodka tonics would appear before me.
And the next morning was another early one.
I'm glad I learned about the different di·gel products that come in liquid, tablet, and convenient 'On the Go products for your pocket or purse, especially because of the upcoming holidays. That means plenty of overdoing it in my future. Anything resembling self-control will have to wait until January 1. di·gel is available as:
- Regular Strength Liquid (Freshmint) – Anti-gas/antacid
- Maximum Strength Liquid (Cherry) – Anti-gas/antacid
- Multi-Symptom Chewable Tablets (Freshmint) –Anti-gas/antacid
- Extra Strength Antacid Chewable Tablets (Mixed Berry) – Antacid
- Extra Strength “On-the-go” Antacid Chewable Tablets (Mixed Berry) –Antacid
Unless, of course, your friends like that kind of thing. In which case, there's no helping them.
Open bar + Mexican food. That never ends well.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, like Victorian ladies, we are filled with the fruits of our own excess. My guess is your problem had much to do with your corset.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha - I love it. The thing is though...T-bone loves his gas. He PRIDES himself on making combinations of food and beer that produce disgustingness. :P Maybe I can make digel pie? Also, what is it about business travel that makes us wear the spanx?
ReplyDeletep.s. I am still reading, but I totally can only read in reader - work thinks your blog is SEX!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFind a way to turn that gas into a renewable and you can eat all the pork n' beans you want.
ReplyDeletehmmm.... I've never heard of di·gel. I usually have to take GasX and Zantac for my issues. But now after reading this post I am TOTALLY trying di·gel!
ReplyDeleteTwo words: Cabbage soup.
ReplyDelete