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When I used to work from home, was unemployed, lived in my little enclosed world, I was skeptical of the way the workplace was portrayed on television sitcoms.
Maybe I'd been working in tiny offices for too long. I mean, my last paying gig had its moments. Like the time I did a little breaking and entering for my boss. Or the time we had the tutorial on using Urban Dictionary to look up phrases to describe questionable sex acts. Yes, I'm judging.
Now that I'm working in a larger office with a cast of characters (several who will require pseudonyms at some point), I'm less skeptical.
Some of the pseudonyms are easy. For example, there's The Bossfriend and Monique. I work most closely with them. The Prankster shows up occasionally with his airhorn and duct tape. We have The Kid, Maxine, and Mr. Wholesome. We have the Former Mayor of Portland.
One of the characters, however, needs a name desperately and he seems to defy categorization. Recently, he had each of us sign a sheet of paper
I asked why.
"Can't I just get a little blind faith. Just this once?"
I signed. I hate to see a grown man cry.
Turns out he wanted to analyze our personalities using our penmanship. According to him, I'm creative, start strong, but have trouble finishing what I've started.
I swear, I haven't talked about my writing or lack thereof at the office at all, so maybe there's something to this signature analysis business.
Of course, according to him, we also have several staff with anger issues, short attention spans, too much work, too little work, trouble with the drink and one who would, in another life, be your sixth grade teacher. Such beautiful penmanship. A lost art really.
I couldn't deny how hurried and sloppy my signature is so I spent my lunch hour practicing new techniques like a girl in love doodling her boyfriend's name on her notebook. Well, that was a waste of a lunch hour. I didn't even come close to developing a signature signature. It still looks like
Lisa Gol(Ican'tbebotheredtowritetherestoftheletters).
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People on Twitter and Facebook were oohing and ahhing over Shirley Bassey's performance during The Oscars on Sunday night. I had no idea who she was until someone tweeted that she was singing Goldfinger and then I remembered that voice. That voice.
So this got my attention this morning. It's rough and delicious and so very relevant. Micro and macro.
Is history repeating itself?
What does your signature say about you?
