Dreams of a simple life with autotune

Photo: Lisa Golden, Minty Fresh

File under First World Problems.

I want to write a specific blog post but I can't because the relevant photos are on MathMan's computer because the school computer I'm borrowing won't let me add any programs like Picassa and I can't get to his computer right now because he's busy watching Star Trek on Netflix while he goes through boxes of math stuff before school starts again.

All said in one breath.


P.S. I finished The Beginners. It was okay. The Raquel character was annoying as shit. She reminded me of someone I know in real life who yammers incessantly because silence so pains her. I don't  think I'd like to meet her demons, y'all.

P.S.2.0  I may abandon Dandelion Wine for a bit. I picked up Lives Like Loaded Guns - Emily Dickinson and her Family's Feuds at the library and I seem to be in a New England kind of mood.

P.S. Jr. Drinking rum makes me have weird dreams. (See mint above. Lyra, we're on the same page vis a vis mojitos.)

And also, I keep thinking I should say something about the goings on in the world - Norway and such, but the truth is I am so despairing of it all. I know, such a delicate flower, right? But seriously, what can I add to the conversation except some expletives? I am, like susan, speechless.

The madness sallies forth and people want to know just how big are Nancy Pelosi's tits? aka my blog stats. I mean, really? This cutting taxes and deregulation experiment is supposed to be working miracles on our economy and going on two years and I can't find a job? I remain unconvinced, but then I am not of the ilk who sends their over-programmed, privileged children to camp in Maine to learn about the simple life. On private, chartered jets. Fear not, intrepid That's Whyers! I do believe this economy is working for some people.

No, my kids are living the dream in the 'hood with water balloon fights, fishing in the creek, snow cones from the Kona Ice guy and pick up ballgames. And some sorry sucker pays $10,000 for a few weeks for their kids to "experience summer?" How is it that if I'm so fucking clever I'm here and they are on private, chartered jets?

Okay, maybe not so speechless, but you guys know where I stand on most issues. Why repeat myself yet again?

I begin the week darkly. I hate being like this. I wish I could say that I hate feeling like this, but it's being. Right now, I'm like this. It permeates every cell.

My favorite quote from a TV show yesterday?

"I wouldn't wrap a dead dog in your gratitude."  - Aurelio Zen, Zen on PBS


Before you go, I have an idea and and I want your thoughts. I've decided I need autotune for which to yell at my kids. Yes? No? What's autotune?

Imma gonna go hug some kitties now. (If your answer above was What's autotune?, watch the video.)

Am I too much for you to tame?

That was then...
In honor of the exchanging of the Speaker of the House gavel (insert gavel size joke here) that took place yesterday, I thought this would be a perfect time to introduce you to DCup.  DCup was my alter ego for a couple of years in the blogosphere.  Sometimes I really miss her.  When you blog under a pseudonym, there's a certain fearlessness based on some illusion of anonymity.  She was necessary.  I wouldn't have developed as a writer without her as a crutch.

I spent some time thinking about DCup as a result of this post at amyg's.  Amy blogs and is a columnist for a regional newspaper somewhere near where I grew up. This fascinates me.  Could I have ever been so brave to write with Amy's honesty were I still living in Rising Sun? Ooooh...I doubt it.  Everything would pass through the filter of what kind of face my mother would make as she read my columns.  So not pretty.  So I look at Amy with awe and respect.

When Amy wrote yesterday about her reaction to negative comments to her columns, I was reminded of how DCup got a boost by some negative attention in 2006.  You might say the negative attention played a large role in DCup getting readers.  You can read the progression here.  DCup has her own page now. Note: there is a photo that isn't 100% work or kid friendly.

Over time and after some funny conversations with my therapist, I decided to lay DCup to rest in late 2008, but there are moments when I wish I could be her again if only so that I could look that good in a lacy black bra.

This is now...
DCup's blog PoliTits is gone, but I still have access to the posts in my google reader.  I trolled through them yesterday to see if I could find my response to the post written about DCup in 2006.  (I found it.) In the process of scrolling through old posts, I was struck by how little has actually changed politically since 2006.  Some of the names are different, but the problems have actually grown worse.  It's so disheartening.

Looking ahead, I decided to back up this blog at Wordpress and then took the additional step of buying my own domain name.  I'll eventually move operations there, but I'll continue to blog here for a couple more weeks.  lisahgolden.com is live, but still a work in progress.  You're free to check it out and offer feedback.  I'll let you know here when I'll write new posts there in case you want to change rss feeds or bookmarks.

If you're still wondering how this relates to the exchange of the Speaker gavel, here's the answer. PoliTits, aside from the charming, subtle name, had its largest number of concentrated hits from people who searched the internet for photos of now former Speaker Pelosi's breasts.  Yes.  A woman achieves a historical milestone and people all over the globe turn to Google with some hope of finding photos of her breasts.

How do you feel about blogging anonymity? How much do you self-censor? Can you believe the size of Speaker Boehner's gavel?  Should we google pictures of his "gavel?"