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One last kitty photo before we go.
Because there just aren't enough photos of cats on the internet, that's why. |
Not to sound too crazy or anything, but the idea that the world is ending this weekend doesn't sound so bad right now. Talk about the solution to a lot of my headaches. Now's the time for life's accounting. Let's see...
All of my children are alive, have never seen the inside of juvenile hall nor starred on Sixteen and Pregnant. I consider my work as a mother a success. I did all the things society demands. I drove on the right side of the road. I graduated college, got married, had children, bought a house, and car, went into consumer debt and got a subscription to cable television. I never descended into squalor, never lived on the dole I didn't invest in first, never let the terrorists win at badminton or stab my Sunday School teacher with safety scissors, never peed in anyone's drink, gave anyone the stinkpalm or made a molehill out of a mountain. I never met a sweet I didn't like or a man I wouldn't try to charm. Overall, I'd say I was a pretty good person by American standards. Sure, there were issues with religion, The Pledge of Allegiance and my unladylike snorting derision of nationalist attempts to make me wear a ridiculous flag lapel pin to show my love of country, but by and large, I didn't fare badly.
Of course there are regrets. Oh so many regrets, but on this momentous occasion, I'm not mourning the things that have passed, but those things that will never be....
I never kissed Clive Owen on the lips. Or got to the top of the Eiffel Tower, floated in the Dead Sea, had champagne and strawberries in a sunny meadow, drove an Aston-Martin, made my first million, served with the Peace Corps, published a novel, shared a kiss in front of the Trevi Fountain, identified all the constellations, met the President, read
War & Peace, joined The Mile High Club, had a diamond ring, figured out what's wrong with my laptop's disc drive, exacted revenge, gained an appreciation for the music of Steeley Dan, mastered painting the nails on my right hand, felt confident when I read poetry, regained my French fluency, scratched that itch, quenched that thirst or satisfied that hunger.
But now it's too late for all that. I'm just going to sit here in my bedroom lawn chair and wait for the end and think of all the things I did do - good and bad. The Queen will be in her counting house counting out the karmic currency. And she commands you to have a wonderful weekend, such that it is. Careful when the looting begins. You know how those nonbelievers can be.
P.S. The new diet starts Monday.
What are you doing this weekend besides running around in circles and screaming? What are you glad for? What do you regret? What did you leave undone?
