Friday, January 9, 2009

Adventures in Real Parenting: Big Cats

Living out at the corner of no where and no place means that even something as mundane as a trip to a supermarket is a bit of an event. It's at least a 25 mile drive and a commitment of one hour. Golden Manor sits right smack dab at the middle of nowhere and noplace.

So when we needed milk and cat food last night, MathMan and I decided to divide and conquer our activities. He took Cupcake aka Resident Evil to her basketball game and I went with The Actor to the local Dollar General to pick up the few groceries we needed. MathMan wasn't going to be near a supermarket and there was no need to drive all the way into town just to pick up a couple of things. (Note to self - always remember to give The Dancer some cash when she goes to dance so she can stop at the store on her way home, if necessary.)

Even though this was just a short trip to the intersection of the main state highway and the long and winding road leading to our country estate, there was an element of Look Ma! They have things from China! The Actor and I wandered the aisles of the Dollar General, checking out the pots and pans, the off-brand foods, and Christmas decorations discounted seventy-five percent.

After a few minutes, we had our milk and cat food so it was time to go. We made our way to the front of the store to pay. The young man who worked there came to the counter and rang us up. While he did so, I wasn't paying much attention. Instead I was futzing around with my purse and talking to The Actor. I swiped my card and barely looked up as the young man handed me my receipt.

The Actor grabbed the bags and we started to walk away.

"Don't forget this one," the tall young man said. I turned to bag carousel and reached for the bag he pointed to. A flash of recognition hit me. I smiled and he smiled back at me . "Hey, how are you?" he asked in his soft baritone.

"Ffffffine," I stammered, smiled again and walked away.

The Actor was holding the door for me. After I walked through it, he caught up to me. "Who was that?" he wanted to know.

"Oh, that's the cute guy from the pizza place. I used to talk to him while I waited to pick up food. You know the hot guy with the mutton chops...." I was still smiling.

The Actor tossed the bags into the back seat and climbed into the car next to me. "I didn't even look at him until he told me not to forget the bag. I'm usually pay more attention to the person ringing me up," I said, chagrined for all kinds of reasons.

"Did you even say hello or thank you?" he chided me. I give The Spawn a lot of crap about speaking to people in public situations.

"I did. I always do, but I just didn't even look at the guy. That's rude. I always try to make eye contact," I added.

We were quiet for a moment as I turned left out of the lot and back onto the highway. The moon hung brightly in the sky, casting a glow over the usually very dark evening landscape. I chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny?"

I shook my head. The Actor asked again, "What?" He has a serious need to be in on the joke. He gets that from his mother.

"I was just thinking I'll have to go to the Dollar General more often, won't I?" I explained.


"Well, I mean, I missed my chance to cougar him that time, didn't I?" I looked at The Actor for confirmation.

An odd mixture of horror and disgust shadowed his face. His eyebrows were way, way up on his forehead. "Mom. Please do not ever say that sentence around me again."

I came to my senses. "Oh, right, yeah, sorry......"

I wonder what we'll need from the Dollar General this weekend.......


  1. I'm quietly ticking off the various things I associated with DCup as they show up on your new blog in some form... Cougaring - check. When I'm done checking them off, I expect to see theremaining items making a picture of the DCup left behind. It's a fun puzzle. Might take a while to be sure it's finished, though...

  2. haha, those were the days when I could embarrass my sons in a store!! I still could even tho they are all grown up if they'd come home once in awhile...well, now I'm getting a little wistful so... that was great...thank you dear woman, for the laughs :)

  3. so THAT's why the boys won't go to the store with me anymore!

  4. Listen here cougar, we did not decide to divide and conquer. We were conquered by the stinky baby who want to ride shotgun in the Dodge Charger with her daddy. And so I could get cougared myself by all those basketball mom's during the game.

  5. Bwahahahaha! Mathman is cougar bait. I like it.

  6. I remember, with some trepidation and horror, the day that my mother confessed she had the hots for my best friend in college:

    "If I were younger I'd make him whimper for me..."

    ...or words similar to that. And she had this look in her eyes that let me know it was true.

    Please be kind to The Actor. You have no idea what that sort of thing does to a boy.



  7. Don't listen to Tengrain. Any chance to mess with your kids' minds must be taken. In this crazy world, it's one of the few joys left!

  8. Don't you hate it when people leave comments totally unrelated to your post? (Still, if you're like me, you never get around to reading anything that's left after two or three days).

    That said, going back to Monday... Lisa? Bwahahahaha, where'd you come up with a funny name like Lisa?

  9. Embarrassing my son is the my sport in life. I gave up touch football and cards to be an accomplished "embarrasser of young teens" in life

  10. Sounds like your trip to the grocery store was more eventful then mine. I have this insane dislike for grocery clerks, except for my favorite, Don. I stand in his line even when other clerks are available.

    Cougar? I have never heard that expression. We have real cougars that come down from the hills and visit Spokane. Pretty scary when you across one. I've only seen tracks. But I have came face to face with moose.

    Have a fantastic weekend. I can actually get out and about like normal people.

  11. Checked out the whole "cougar" thing. Also liked the response from Tengrain about his mother fixing her eye on his friend. While I do have some sympathy for the child, in all, I understand your position as well.

    Sometimes, it's just nice to be noticed, especially those of us who have reached "a certain age" and feel kind of out of it. Take the attention, but tread carefully, on cat's feet, as it were. . .

  12. Big cats are dangerous.......

    One of the few perks in life is making your kids go EEEWWWWWW!!

  13. Oh my! I got very distracted by all the "cougar" sub-headings....

    "Pass me the sunscreen with moisturizer. I don't want to get cougar chest," being my favorite!

    You crack me up.

  14. Yes, I got the cougar thing...I am getting better all the time. My kids are still laughing that I only figured out "MILF" a few months ago. **Note to self: keep up with the times!

  15. Ha, very funny, Lisa.

    In my mind's eye I am still 27. I have no idea what I look like to my daughter's twenty-something-year-old male friends. I sincerely hope I don't have "cougar chest!"

  16. Steve - Your comment really cracked me up. Yes, it is true. DCup may not be my name anymore, but she is definitely an integral piece of the Lisa puzzle.

    linda - I know there's going to come a day when I wonder if my kids will visit so I can embarrass them all over again. I hope yours come for a visit soon!

    Not - You know that's it. Mrawr.

  17. You people are something. First it's the pedophile men who try to pick up this 10 year old on the streets of Atlanta - resulting in my jumping from his moving vehicle (the one he carries his wife and kids to the Arlans in). Then the art teacher senior year. Then it's the Cougars who gang up on me in Johnnys Hideaway, pinching my ass when I was 21. Then the US District Attorney's wife at 28.

    It's just not safe to be a young male anymore.

  18. LOL, good one. Nothing like skeeving out your children by reminding them you are more than just their mother. (In case the urban dictionary doesn't deal with "skeeve" it's a New Jersey expression meaning gross out or the like).

    Freida, Cougar Chest! I didn't see that one. Now I know what I have. Must put on Retinol cream...

  19. Points for the Cougar pic... if the guy's anything like I am, the cashier's crotch probably throbbed the whole time he was ringing you up...


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