Update on the possessed Kia:
The driver's side door still won't open. I guess we'll get that fixed or at least have a hearty laugh when the repo men come for the damnable vehicle.
Speaking of lemons, I was reading this post from Lisa at Lemon Gloria (there sure are a lot of us Lisas, aren't there?) and it occurred to me that I may be missing an opportunity for a Love Connection...As Lisa explains:
Because it's about this small group of people - all women - who fall in love with objects. Like fences. And the Eiffel Tower. And the Golden Gate bridge."So," I think out loud, rousing my co-worker from her afternoon nap, "perhaps I should change the way I'm viewing the maneuvers I go through each time I enter the car from the passenger's side and climb across the seat and console, trying desperately not to impale myself on the gear shift......"
And when I say they fall in love with them - they fall in love. They imbue them with personalities. They assign gender to these objects. They have sex with them.
Maybe from now on, I'll make sure the Sade cd is ready to play when I make the move from one side of the car to the next. A little seductive music, the right attitude and who knows? A little inanimate object love as I'm leaving the office might be just the thing to help me "shift gears" between work and home.
(Insert "balance" joke here.)
If the Kia's been trying to seduce you, it's picked a strange way of showing its love.
ReplyDeleteMake sure the gear shift wears a condom or some other form of latex protection. We wouldn't want you to contract some sexually transmissioned disease.
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ReplyDeleteWell, won't our meeting with A be interesting today?
ReplyDeleteI would venture a guess that the problem is the linkages are stuck in the door. I had a problem with the driver's door on my truck not wanting to unlock unless I used the inside door handle. I took the inside door panel off and sprayed the linkages with oil and it hasn't given me a problem since. Of course you would have to get the door open to do that. And if the Repo man is coming, why bother??
ReplyDeleteBoston Legal did fairly long running storyline off and on about people falling in love with inanimate objects.
You are too funny, I have images of you, climbing over this gear shift that honestly, I really didn't need...LOL.
ReplyDeleteYes, the gear shift...depending on the shape I'm sure it could be quite, um, fulfilling.
ReplyDelete(This is definitely something new to me - never heard of this! I read the article over at the other link and it mentioned this one woman thinks the Eiffel Tower is female. Huh? Phallic symbol anyone?)
"Shift gears between work and home" ...groan. And I read that same article on Jezebel or Dlisted or whatever about the inanimate objects. Ang made me read it. It was really bizarre.
ReplyDeleteJust break the window and go all Dukes of Hazzard. Sure to be a big hit!
ReplyDeleteI'm just gonna say, "Ow!"
ReplyDeletethat must be awful unglamorous having to climb in and out of the car! let the repo man have it is what I say.
ReplyDeleteSo when I am watching Top Gear I am watching porn? Is that right?
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Oh, Lisa, my darling, here's the thing. You can enjoy the hell out of the gear shift. It's when you stop having anything physical to do with MathMan because you and your gear shift are just so madly in love that I will truly start to worry.
ReplyDeleteTough to decide between car porn and new car scent.
ReplyDeleteBoth seem to turn a guys head, and both have a market.
Man, it must be late for lunch, I am bent over laughing at la Belette 's comment.
I need a life I know.
Huuuuuumm.... I think MY linkages need oil..... Good luck with that....
ReplyDeleteRespectability overrated? Damn... I 've been wrong, wrong, wrong for to long, long long! (Sorry, Chrissie is still in my brain...!)
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ReplyDeleteBut the car can be operated at very high RPMs. Not to worry, I am very friendly with a few inanimate objects myself.
ReplyDeleteOnce I had a passionate love affair with a seatbelt. Does that count?
ReplyDeleteNow I have this image of you Lisa trying to gracefully cross the gearshift threshold...lol, thats a vision for sure.
ReplyDeleteOh and another thing, I used to have a hatch back that the doors were always freezing up when I lived in Detroit. The only way I could get in the damn car was to crawl through the hatchback, I am 6'2" tall so you can imagine the tall lanky guy climbing through a hatchback, over the back seat and over a gearshift to get in the car.
ReplyDeleteYeah that was a funny picture for my neighbors back then let me tell ya.
make sure Sade is out of the CD player before REPO comes for the car.
ReplyDeleteIt's the little victories Lisa, that keep us going
Hopefully you are wearing pants to work and not a mini-skirt. Do they still call them mini-skirt's?
ReplyDeleteI loved Edwards comment about a sexually transmissioned diseas.
I am a little worried about overdrive, but I know you are a big girl and can handle it.
ReplyDeleteSheesh Lisa, that car, that car!
I want to say fuck it, but then that is exactly what this post is about, isn't it?
(Yes it is 7:15 and I am STILL reading blogs and not doing homework.)
Fran gets the point. Kudos, Fran.
ReplyDeleteummmmmmmmmmmm, I'm a little speechless right now....when she puts the...oh never mind...
ReplyDeletelisa, please....really.......gross......so...gross.........
I'm afraid I'm reminded of a story I read once...
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha sexually transmissioned disease HA HA HA HA!!
ReplyDeleteSweet Jesus in a speedo...wotta trip!
ReplyDeleteAnd there is nothing worse than climbing around a small car to get in or out. Nothing.
Well, if it breaks down....,thats worse. ;p
I used to have a little car whose locks froze every winter night so every winter morning I had to enter by the hatchback.. slithering and sliding, humping and bumping my way to the sweet embrace of the driver's seat.
ReplyDeleteIf gearshift love is your thang, I'm rather relieved you don't drive an automatic...
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to ask about the shotgun wedding....
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