Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Yesterday Was TWOSday

Yesterday was a day of twos.
I drank two cups of coffee in the morning.
In a rush out the door,
I grabbed two strawberry PopTarts
And ate them, cold, for lunch
With a piercing bitterness in my heart
And an angry face.
(Screw you, Kellogg's, and your idiotic hypocrisy!)

The day flew by
As if the minutes were leapfrogging over each other.
TickTick Tock, TickTick Tock
Instead of Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

We arrived at the magic hour
And sat in the shrink's office
A cocoon of calm, lowlighting, quiet voices.
A comforting, unidentifiable scent on the perfectly-regulated air.
When, without warning, a start of low grumblings
Growing into growls of hunger
Emanated from my mid-section.
Breaking the mood with its insistence.
FEED ME.

(Can this marriage be saved?
Not if I don't eat.
Therapy is hard enough, but with low blood sugar?
Impossible.)

We took to our two cars
For the long drive home
I made a stop for takeout
Acquiescing to the whims of two children
Left home to fend for themselves
While we dialogued in measured tones
And considered what it must be like
To be in the other person's skin.

McDonalds it was.
Out of sheer hunger, nearing desperation
My unfortunate food choices would later haunt me
The fries, taken in great clumps
Were consumed so quickly
Nary a grease spot was left
On my clutching fingertips
The milkshake, an alleged flavor, sucked dry noisily
Gone in near record time,
Gifting me with the pleasure of a white-hot streak of
Unrelenting ice cream headache
The double cheeseburger, ordered plain, no condiments, thank you
Left much to be desired
After two unceremonious and unenjoyed bites,
I mentally composed the following letter of critique For McDonalds.

Dear McDonalds,

You are doing it wrong.
There is too much pepper in the double cheeseburger.
And not enough chocolate in the chocolate milkshake.

It's important that you know.

Unsatisfied,

Lisa


10 comments:

  1. I love this post. Such a cool little slice of life.

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  2. Me too.. you sound like me...lol I hate McDonalds..

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  3. I know you have TWO comments so far, which is perfect for this post. Here I go and ruin it.

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  4. I love the way you can blend the big stuff with immediate. Life's like that. Your world can be falling down around your ears but the cat still needs to be fed.

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  5. I detest Micky Dee's...........you are a brave woman.
    I like the way this post flows, through your day.........two by two.

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  6. Very pleasant, with two caveats.

    Condiments always on McDonald burgers ... at least enough to kill the taste.

    Unsatisfied is considered a laudatory rating, I believe they only pay heed if the customer comes back with an Uzi.

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  7. What Wee Mousie said. I rarely eat fast food--only when necessary. the "meat" in McDonald's hamburgers just doesn't seem to be beef. That's all I'm saying.

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  8. Boy, if you think that's bad I've heard that in certain big city restaurants if you order squab a guy with a net heads up to the roof where the pigeons nest.

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  9. The whole point of a MacDonalds burger is that it is one, complete eating experience, all flavors mushed together, soft, chewy and unidentifiable. Must have the condiments or as Wee Mousie points out, you might actually taste the "beef."

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And then you say....

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