Not (De)electable

Recently, someone suggested I run for office.  I scoffed at the idea.  I offered a laundry list of reasons why I could never run for office.  I'd listed ten reasons on the alphabetical list and I was only on the reasons beginning with the letter A.

I couldn't possibly put my family or myself through that kind of thing.  The scrutiny would be horrible.  That was the summation of why I dismissed the idea out of hand.

Can you imagine the political ads my opponent would run?

(Fade in)
This photo will come on the screen...

Dudes, do you remember the days when I was growing out my gray? Yikes.

(Female disembodied voice speaking in ominous tones)
Lisa Golden wants to represent you in Congress, but does she really represent you?  She's the founder of the Parenting School of Benign Neglect.  She got her start as a liberal political blogger.  She was once a community organizer, now she's unemployed.  She worked in the non-profit sector so she's probably a socialist, a communist or both.  She and her husband have been separated twice.  She's never fired anyone nor has she employed undocumented workers. She doesn't ask and she doesn't tell.  She makes tasteless jokes and is on record using the F word about Wall Street. She had an abortion in college.  She's a rape survivor who was probably asking for it.  She's married to a Jew and once lived with a Muslim.  Her sister used to call her The United Nations.  She completes those ACLU surveys and mails them back.  She doesn't go to church or pray.  She doesn't even believe in God.  She has a degree in French.  She might even be a witch.  She once owned a Ouija Board, you know.

On the First Tuesday in November, tell Lisa Golden not just no, but hell no!

This ad approved by (insert name) and the Fox News Network.

Yeah..........no.  But thanks.

However, I've been thinking about something my friend PeNolan wrote last week about how liberals really need to consider finding female candidates who can compete with the Sarah Palins and Christine O'Donnells on a beauty contest level.  PeNolan is on to something.  If it's true that pretty girls get away with more then perhaps there is something I could use to counteract my opponent's scare tactics.

Elect Lisa Golden to Congress.....

Because if we're going to have boobs in Congress, they may as well be good boobs.

Would you ever run for office?  Or have you already? Would you ever post a photo of yourself in a bra? Aren't you dying to dress up as a goth?