Thursday, December 1, 2011

Under the influence

I keep showing up here to stare at the blank screen. It's pitiful. I hope for a thought, a glimmer of something interesting to say and nothing comes out. I turn on MSNBC looking to get my rage on. Nothing. I can't even work up a lather about the Lexus with the big red bow for Christmas commercials. I yawn at Newt Gingrich.

I am glad for the Herman Cain disaster. At least I know I'm not entirely numb. I find myself cringing for all involved. Goodness knows I've had my share of personal failings. However grateful I am to have this "feelings" test, I can't get any joy spelled schadenfreude from this. Cain's an interesting character. That takes some serious balls and a wicked desire to sell books to think that you can run for the office of the President of the United States with those spanx wearing skeletons rattling around in your closet. 

Hey, here's a question for you - if Cain drops out of the race, and we now know that he knew he had some serious liabilities before the race, does the American Taxpayer get to send him an invoice for his Secret Service detail? His ilk likes to talk about waste and abuse. Boy howdy.

Meh. Enough of that. As you might have guessed, my ability to work on my WIP is suffering the same blank staring fate. I open the document, peck out a few words and then stop to think. Forty-five minutes later, I realize my eyes have become unfocused and what I think is the black vortex of fading star is actually the lens of my portable webcam.

I have never been so even-keeled. It's a bit disconcerting. The cats have started taking shifts to make sure I'm still breathing. They blow in my face to see if my ears and nose twitch. Don't feel too gooey about them. They're not really concerned about me. They just don't want to wait until Sophie gets home from school to be fed.

I yawn a lot with or without the Gingrich inspiration. I'm hearing things. I don't feel like getting dressed and shaving my legs feels like a monumental task. Watching my twitter feed feels like the bedspins. I can't read for very long before dozing off. I'm okay if I keep moving, but when I sit, it's like a switch goes off in my brain that reads "She's not going to hurt any major organs if she takes a fall from this height. All systems shut down!"

Meanwhile, the blog stats are going up  and up. I continue to ride the FAIL wave.

Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. If I can focus long enough to tell you what it is.......zzzzzzz.


  1. It's the time of year. The days are shorter, the natural instinct is to slow down, mentally hibernate, do nothing more ambitious than finding some Southern Comfort for the eggnog.

    Does Cain actually have Secret Service protection already? They used to wait until much later in the campaign cycle before lavishing taxpayer funded protection on candidates.

  2. That's what I keep telling myself, Nan. It'll even out.

    Cain does have a detail. It was reported that due to death threats, they dispatched one to him.

  3. Only the little people waste, everyone else has a good reason for throwing away. Duh.

  4. The blahs. I'm in reality shock mode, My 2 months of post op convalescence comes to a screeching halt tomorrow, as I return to work full time.
    Suddenly, I felt possessed to clean the oven, I have no idea how long it's been, but let's just say long overdue.
    Wow! That baking soda method really works!

    I'll clean the bathroom too, but then I'm out-- go buzz around aimlessly just to savor this last day of freedom.
    Going back to the corporate world. Cold turkey- set the alarm for an ungodly early hour.

    Well, I just need to remember my total knee replacement surgery cost triple my annual wage.
    What I lack in pay, I made up for in medical costs, somehow, that does cheer me up a bit.

    Can't much tune in to the GOP political circus freak show, but the theme song should be *another one bites the dust*. Observing Self implosion is mildly amusing.

  5. It does kinda suck that it's pitch black on 5:17 pm, but on the other hand, I'm about to start a fire in the fireplace and there's plenty of booze.


  6. Oh my word! See, Randal, I can't even keep up with your comment.

    Fran, I'm glad you're healing. And yay! for the baking soda for cleaning ovens. It's so much better than the toxic stuff.

    Thunder - That sounds like a great way to enjoy the long night.

  7. I feel your pain, Lisa. I don't even bother to put more than 2 things on THE LIST lately. And my giant goal is to get at least half of them done.

  8. Best turn of phrase of the year, "...spanx wearing skeletons rattling around in your closet." Well done ma'am.

  9. This post is very close to the one I didn't have the energy to write today. After spending several days drawing an at least relatively interesting picture I made the mistake of spending three more days trying to turn it into a painting when sitting on the couch reading a book would have been more productive. I think it's ennui caused by a combination of the long dark and knowing the holiday season is bearing down whether we're ready or not. In these parts the sun is down by 4:30.

    It's pretty good news about Cain. I'd be chuffed to hear the entirety of the rest have opted out of the running too - including the incumbent. Can't we please start over?

  10. Why so off? Maybe you need to come work a serving job with me and Mary. We'll tease/poke/mess with you until you wet yourself laughing and then we'll go have a margarita or two. Mary's not drinking, so she can make sure we get a cab...

    Take care of yourself, Lisa.


  11. "apropos of nothing"...i guess my comment reflects how you are feeling. enjoy he blahs. sweet dreams. continue...(i think)

  12. I don't know if it's your blog that is suffering, it seems the whole of blog world. Except for Brian Miller, who I'm starting to think is the guy who designed blog cos he keeps getting bigger and bigger :)) But it ain't what it used to be; seems people are not so interested really in either blogging or paying attention to those who actually do blog. Again, except Brian Miller, who I'm starting to think is an incarnation of God.

  13. did i hear someone summon me? smiles. haha i claim no divinity braja...i dont even have a cow, or a cell phone that looks like one...smiles..

    yes, the blog world is changing again it seems. i have seen it before over the last 3 years. people come and go and some come back. there is a certain amount of people that are out there just to pitch their art and not build relationships/friendships.

    braja, you know a lot of the crew we used to run with has disappeared, i miss them too...

    but there are still those out there that read/comment...maybe i am just lucky to make the shifts when heeded. i think the small communities will be key in this next wave. small families of people sticking together.

    nice to meet you, braja sent me over. isnt she cool like that?

    and as far as inspiration goes, keep will come...if you stop the muse has nothing to work with.


  14. cant believe i read a semi political post and did not comment on politics either...

    i am losing it. smiles.

  15. Oh Lisa - I want to come and sit and stare off into the distance and have some cocoa with schnapps & a cookie.

  16. Lisa, I'm with you. I was offline for several weeks and when I was connected again, there seemed to be nothing to say ... I'm mostly online these days just to be in touch with loved ones, pick up a weather forecast (It's been awfully mild here...), and check my libary account. I'm reading books, one at a time (something I've learned to do, finally!) ... I have to admit: after three weeks offline, I started to peruse the news and political sites that I used to scan several times a day. I saw the same-old, same-old -- and veered away. It was an eye-opener, that time away from the 'puter.

    Perhaps the blogging-inertia (if I'm reading you right) is Life's way of saying, 'Put actual pen to actual paper!' --> that's what Life seems to be saying to me. Ideas roar to the front of my mind and spatter onto paper ... and then that's it. Perhaps the imagination, like soil, needs occasional fallow times ... so something new can come to life and grow ...

    Herman Cain ... the entire GOJPP (Greedy Or Just Plain Psycho?) field has left me gob-smacked. If any of these wackos were a foreign head of state, America would go to war with them ... !!

    Yes, whatever's happening in you will even out ... All things eventually do xoxo

  17. If you're thinking you have writer's block, Lisa, get that thought out of your head right now. Writer's block is not only a fallacy but an imprecise one.

    31 years ago, Stephen King wrote an essay that forever changed the way I looked at fiction writing. It's entitled Imagery and the Third Eye and it basically boils down to this: It's not a failure of imagination but a failure of focus, the failure to use "the third eye" of the writer. Or it could be just plain laziness or weariness of material with which you've lived for too long.

    Just read the article, try King's exercise of a city street on a rainy day and you'll know what I'm talking about. Then give me the results.

  18. "As you might have guessed, my ability to work on my WIP is suffering the same blank staring fate."

    Oh no. I thought you were on a roll. I'm sorry, love. Maybe it's the weather? The stress of the holidays? Whatever is plaguing you - I hope it goes away soon!

  19. I keep having things to say but I am turned off by my bitching and moaning - so why inflict it on people? Maybe it is the time of year? I can't imagine getting a manuscript to chapter 2 much less the need for a re-write! It will happen, I believe.

  20. It has to be the lack of sunlight. I am having a hard time working on my papers due soon, soon, soon. I need a kick in the pants or energy or something to make me GO!

    Hope you get your energy back soon.

  21. Shall I throw a drink in your lap? That'll wake you up! :-)

  22. I hate it when you're searching for your muse and she's passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of vodka. All you can do is throw her in a cold shower, slap her silly, then tuck her in and hope she wakes up in a more productive mood.

    And hide the vodka.

  23. If I see a Lexus with a big red bow on it, I'm going to the Army-Navy store to see if they have any bazookas.

  24. Your cats are deciding if it's safe to eat you yet. Sorry to be blunt - you need to know.

  25. well I think you should advertise a bit more on the blog or something like that, or write columns for papers, or web sites, or something like that. How do you know they wouldn't want you? asked lately?


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