We've got it all until the revolution comes

Some more world-stopping observations to help get you through your day...

1. Scott Farkus and Grover Dill may rule the back alleys between home and school, but they're terrified of the vacuum cleaner. They also enjoy rasslin' on the back of my chair which means they're tumbling around back there behind my head. The joys never end.

2. You know you're a true political junkie/journalist groupie when you vow never to wash your twitter again after WaPo columnist Jonathan Capehart responds to one of your tweets.

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2.1 If you're not on Twitter, you might want to rethink that. Did you know you can interact with fun people like the author Tayari Jones?

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2.2 And if you are on Twitter and not following me, what's up with that? Don't make me deliver a cat to you. Because I will.

Seriously though, be sure to check out who follows me and who I follow. I've made lists, too. Great people, funny people, co-conspirators, authors, political types and my blog friends who fit into any number of those categories.

P.S. If you're on Twitter and I'm not following you, please leave your twitter handle in the comments so I can fix that situation. Thank you.

3. The word super is being overused. It seems to have replaced the now exhausted extreme and mega. We have this new Super Committee of Congressional members who will decide whether or not we flourish or wither and then there's this new Super Group called, of course, The Super Heavy featuring Mick Jagger, Dave Stewart, Joss Stone, Damian Marley and R.H. Rahman.

I think we'd have a better chance of making it out alive if we put the Super Heavy in charge of policy and sent those bought lawmakers into the studio with some kazoos and the much-maligned squeezebox.

4. Want to stir things up on Facebook? Mention Kozy Shack pudding. True story.

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5. I've been listening to the rhetoric coming from the Right, the moderates, the corporate media and anyone who owes their living to fundraising money from deep pockets. I find it chilling that there's this assumption that we all must simply accept the current and very gross income inequality as the "new normal." Listen carefully and educate yourselves, my loves, because that horrible notion frames everything that those folks say.

6. There are two more containers of Kozy Shack pudding in the garage fridge. I've put it as far away from me as possible. So let's say I decide to eat one. But I don't want to gain weight so to balance the input, I just eat it while running on the elliptical. Webcast? Yes or no?

7. I've tinkered with the layout of the blog and my other blog PoliTits, making the font larger, for example, because I notice that when I'm reading blogs with small fonts, I tend to stop reading because it's too much work. I know. First world problems abound. Let me tell you next about how the dishwasher is so noisy that I have to crank up the volume on the television in the living room so I can hear it while I'm puttering around in the kitchen.

8. I'm definitely a Libra. I'm torn between positive visioning that I'm going to get the job in Chicago for which I interviewed this week and fretting that if I think or talk about it, I'll jinx the whole thing.

9. I think politicians should stop trying to sound hip by making pop cultural references and employing folksy sayings. They could stand to lay off the similes, metaphors and euphemisms, too. Play it straight, people, or run the risk of wishing Elvis a happy birthday on the anniversary of his death. Someone spank their handlers and put them in the corner until the next news cycle.

10. Your turn. Observations, thoughts, gripes, confessions, whimsical statements of epic proportions welcome.

Put on a Poncho, Play for Mosquitoes

I'm thinking in lists today.

1. This draft of major rewrites is finished and only one day behind schedule. The sex scene remains unwritten and I'll let beta readers tell me if it's necessary of it's better to let the reader fill in the hot blanks. #amwriting

2. I lied. The draft isn't finished. I must adjust the dates in the chapter headers. Dates are critical to the story. Once I've dropped in those dates, I'll email those of you who have volunteered to beta read. I've added a Work in Progress page (see tab above) with the opening of the novel so you can see if the style and genre are something you might want to beta read. I hate to give this very mainstream writing to those who expect something literary because I promise you, you'll be disappointed. The novel has maybe one or two metaphors in the entire 73k words. So if you've volunteered to beta, but find that this won't be your cup of vodka, that's cool. #amediting

3. Scott Farkus and Grover Dill remain sequestered in the garage. This causes some difficulties because the refrigerator in the kitchen isn't working properly so we've moved all the fridge stuff to the freezer side and all the freezer stuff is in the fridge in the garage. Before you go wondering how broke-ass people like us can afford two refrigerators, take note: the one in the garage belongs to our landlord.

Anyway.

Every time I have to fetch something from the freezer or the overstock in the garage fridge, Scott and Grover rush the door and suddenly it's Kitty Rodeo! Bets on how long it takes me to give up and just introduce those boys to the rest of the band?

Also, this nonsense makes it even harder to sneak the ice cream I have hidden in the back of the freezer.

Also, too, thank you, Randal, for reminding me that Toady's real name is Grover Dill. #yeehaw

4. I did not watch the Republican debate last night on Fox News, but I can tell you this: I hope to hell that Tim Pawlenty's political career is over soon. I don't know if I've ever shared this, but certain words trigger food cravings for me. I know. Weird, but there it is. So whenever Pawlenty's name is mentioned, I'm all Homer Simpson "mmmmm polenta.....aaaaaahhhh." It's kind of disturbing. I don't need this shit. Polenta is high in calories and tricked out with crazy genetic shit thanks to Monsanto's messing with corn seed.

At least if Mitt Romney wins the nomination, I won't get fatter. I'll just have to listen to MathMan call him Mitten for the next year and half. Gain more weight or be jailed because of a domestic dispute turned violent? It's a clear choice to me.

And if Michele Bachmann wins? Let's just say it will be a veritable smorgasbord of tasteless jokes chez nous. Followed by a lot of Bless her hearts because we don't want to be totally cruel. That sets a terrible example for the children. #areyoufuckingkiddingme

5. Speaking of MathMan, I can't convince him to keep a respectful distance when we're in bed, so I'm insisting that he study this. #middleagedsexcapades



6. Now I'm craving some John Stamos with a side of Bob Saget. Fucking inconvenient since the closest I'll ever get to them is watching Full House reruns as I serve Sophie her breakfast. #guiltypleasures

7. My blog stats continue to be enhanced by people doing research on Nancy Pelosi's breasts. I wish some foundation would form to help those people get to the bottom of whatever important social concern they're trying to solve. Maybe that foundation would hire me to be its CEO. #stillneedajob

8. The new Indigo Girls song Making Promises has a Monkees vibe to it. Now I'm craving Pop Tarts and Peter Tork because that's what I remember eating when I watched Monkees reruns as a child. Pop Tarts, I mean. #foodandtv

9. Someone needs to vacuum this house. Know what that leaves me craving? A maid. #suckthis

10. Your comment goes here. The best comment wins two cats (fill in with a lot of legal jargon and disclaimers.)


With all good wishes,

Lisa