And Then Some Shock Treatment Takes Place

Source

Just as memes work their way through the blogosphere, we tag each other with things on Facebook.  Sometimes I play along and other times I think Favorites?  Have these people not figured out that I can't make up my mind about what to eat for lunch and they expect me to sort out my fifteen favorite authors in the Steampunk genre?

I was tagged with a couple of games.  Why not do them here and then they'll link over to Facebook?  And yes, this is me doing a bit of lazy blogging.  I'm behind on my NaNoWriMo word count and have to use my energy worrying about writing my work in progress.

So this came from Holly.  The rules (rules?) are thus:

Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen fictional characters (television, films, plays, books) who've influenced you and who will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag at least fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what characters my friends choose. 

Ready?

1.  Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H, probably more from the TV show than the movie. I loved how he played with words, pretty much thought the establishment could go fuck itself and walked around in his robe with boots.  Me.  Totally.

2.  Lucy Honeychurch from A Room with a View.  I still picture her played by Helena Bonham Carter with her pouty lips and long, flowing dark curls.  My favorite line of hers "Mother doesn't like me playing Beethoven.  She says I'm always peevish afterward..."  But truly the memorable character in E.M. Forster's novel is George Emerson.  I would have given up my Baedeker for a kiss from him in the field.  (Okay, so I may have made out with the hot Italian after George died, too, but that's neither here nor there, is it?  Life is for living, yo.)

3.  Hermione Granger from Harry Potter.  I love her.  She gets on my last nerve, but I adore her. I want to be her and be friends with her and, well, corrupt her a little.

4.  Sam Stewart from Foyle's War.  She's Mr. Foyle's driver.  I love her curiosity and how humanly flawed and funny and sweet and kind she is.

5.  Donna Reed.  I mean, come on. Of course!

6.  Elaine Benes from Seinfeld.  I have been Elaine on a number of occasions and it could be argued that I still am the Elaine to a photographer in Amsterdam and a college professor in Dijon.  I am international Elaine.

7.  Rhoda from Mary Tyler Moore.  Funny. Jewish.  Always fighting her weight.  Although I am not Jewish, I'd love to be.  Considering I was raised by Midwestern Protestants of a mostly Scots-Irish background, I'm pretty danged close.  Plus I used to imagine living in her cool attic apartment.

8.  Scarlet O'Hara.  Because as Bob is my witness.  No wait.  Because tomorrow is another day, baby. If I had a dime for every time I've repeated that line to myself, I wouldn't be sweating the unemployment thing.

9.  Anais Nin.  I mean, I realize she's not really a character, or was she?

10.  Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby.  What an idiot.

11.  Harry, Alan Rickman's character in Love Actually.  Another dillhole who made Emma Thompson cry to some Joni Mitchell.  Although I speak more like the Annie character and dance more like the Prime Minister.

12.  Emma from the Jane Austen novel of the same name.  I lack her confidence and those nifty empire waist dresses, but I understand her desire to hook people up.  We're Noah standing at the foot of the Ark's gangplank pairing up the creatures so that they might live on.......or I'm just an incurable romantic and matchmaker.

13.  Geraldine Granger from The Vicar of Dibley.   I'm not a vicar nor do I play one on TV, but I've worked in a situation like hers, with a cast of characters like that.  Except they weren't as funny or interesting or British.  However, the rest of us were certain that one of us was indeed diddling farm animals.

14.  Bella from Twilight.  I know what it's like to love an Edward.  Bella needs a good therapist.

15.  Hercule Poirot.  Everytime he gets his OCD freak on by straightening a picture on a wall or lining up the items on a desk, a table or a mantle, I think "Oh, yes.  Right there.  Mmmmmm."

Your turn.  What fifteen characters have stayed with you?

I Get Around

Yes, I realize this is not news.

I've been cheating on you guys, my long time lovers.  While I still haunt the places I've been visiting since about 1912, I've added some new places to my feed reader.  Like that stray kitten you should have never made eye contact with, I follow these new, shiny interests home.  It's not my fault that they feed me, is it?

The thing is, these new places mesh well with my Tried and Trues.  I may have met them while trolling the literary agent and editors sites or goofing around on Twitter, but many of them share my world view, skewed as it may be.  What they have in common with my old pals is humor.  It may be dark, it may be slapstick, it may be dry like a nice red wine, but humor and excellent writing ties all you lovers - old and new -  together.  It's what keeps me coming back.

Let me introduce you to Bethany.  She tagged me with a meme the other day.  Bethany is an ex-pat living in Quebec.  Long time readers will guess that I'm just a wee bit envious that she's up there where le Francais est parled. (you've gotta say it with a mash-up Midwestern flat/Deep South Country twangy accent)  Le Francais est parled.  Nevermind.

So it's Sunday morning and I'm going to do this meme because I am wiped out.  Yesterday, I did more things than I typically do in six months. Socialist things, I mean.  Wait - no, not socialist.  Social.  As in go out and interact with people.  Socialist is like when I go to the library.

I had coffee with Wendy of Wendy and Jason's Excellent Adventure!  I've been reading Wendy's blog for close to three years.  Zeke was a baby, I know that. Back then, she was living in Hawaii, a relatively new mom, writing about surfing, life with an Aussie husband and making me long for the days when Nate was a cute little guy.  Now Wendy and Jason have two kids, live in Colorado and recently closed on a house.  This wasn't like meeting for the first time.  It was like catching up. And Wendy?  I wish she lived next door. She's the chick I wish I was.  Smart, successful, funny, supremely grounded in reality. If she did live next door, I can assure you I would never have gotten so embarrassingly out of shape.  Look at her killer body.  I would have starved myself and learned to run with a brick in my pants due to peer pressure alone.  Or I would have been slipping her fat-laden stuff, lying that it was a special, fat free recipe and borrowing her workout equipment and never returning it.  You never know with me.

Thank you, Wendy, for the coffee and the great morning. I hope we'll see each other again!  Have a safe trip home.

After coffee, I returned to a clean house.  "Okay, what do you guys want?"  Because a house cleaned by Nate and Sophia is a Tell.  Like clearing your throat after telling a lie, a clear indication that favors are about to be requested.

Thankfully, they were reasonable requests.  Nate needed a lift somewhere and then somewhere else.  Sophia needed unmentionables that I'm mentioning here.  On the blog.  They're used to it.

We even had a visit with Chloe's boyfrand while we were out.  Can I tell you that a young man who stands at six foot seven draws some stares?  He's delightful, though, (even if he does introduce Nate to things like this and Nate, in turn, introduces them to me, except that song is way, way, way tame compared to the others Nate likes to "shock" me with.) and I really appreciate the fact that Boyfrand was willing to pick up a few things and deliver them to Chloe on the other side of Georgia.

Oh, and I'd like to state for the record that Sophia is grateful for the donations.  She didn't have to wait another two weeks for new underwear that don't give her distracting wedgies during class nor suffer the indignity of being dragged through Goodwill looking for used undies.  So thank you.  Not only did your dollars keep the lights on and pay the water bill (yay showers!), but you can also pat yourself on the back because my sixth grader isn't going to school commando this week.

Okay - that meme.

If you could have one superpower what would it be?
This is really hard for me even after all these years.  Every morning, I wake up and think "Hm....the ability to see through walls or invisibility?  Elasticity or speed?  Supersonic hearing or the ability to lift a freight train and set it back up on the tracks?"

And then I get out of bed, knowing that there will be dirty clothes, unmade beds, random effluvium, a pile of cat barf and a scattering of pens, markers, crayons and papers behind those walls.  With lightening speed (because I have just injected myself with caffeine and I have things I WANT to do), I'll employ my elasticity, bending, stretching, squeezing into tiny places, eradicating the clutter and filth.  In the old days, I would even pick up the train and put it back on the wooden tracks running through the living room.  I do all of this while remaining invisible because, as I asked the other day, if a woman cleans a toilet and no one is there to smell the bleach, did it really happen?

And at the end of the day, I use my supersonic hearing to make sure I've closed the porn and wiped the history set out the Organic, Hormone-Free Skim Milk and cookies before the school bus comes barreling around the bend of the subdivision.

Who is your style icon?
Oh, I dunno.  Carol Burnett as the Cleaning Woman?  Pam Dawber as Mindy?  Jackie O. when she sneaked out as her alterego Kelly Green?  Drew Barrymore when she thinks there aren't any paparazzi around or is too hungover to care? Lady Gaga when she's not wearing meat?  Who sits around in torn shorts and wife beaters?  Because that's kind of it right now.

What is your favorite quote?
Right now it's this by Mark Twain.

‎"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

What is the best compliment you've ever received?
Best?  Yikes.  Bethany had such a lovely answer to this.  Mine seems so craven and shallow in comparison.  But when people tell me that I make them laugh or that they think I'm a good writer or that I'm a good mom.  All of those give me a buzz.

What playlist/cd is in your cd player/playing right now?
Right now, it's Nate's playlist on the computer.  'nuff said.

Are you a nightowl or a morning person?
I'm a morning person.  Sometimes that means I'm still up at 2a.m.

Do you prefer dogs or cats?
Cats. I love dogs, but I'm more suited to sharing space with cats.  They totally get that sometimes I really don't feel like being petted or picked up and carried around like a baby.  If I'm hiding under the bed or in the back of the closet, they are cool with that.  Unless, of course, it's their turn in that space.  Then they bite my toes until I vacate.

What is the meaning behind your blog name?
I haven't done this in ages, but there was a time when I used to finish blog posts with something like this:

Because I had a lot to say and this meme gave me the perfect opening, that's why.


Now comes the tagging part.  You know the drill - do this when you need a post, when you need a starting point.  Pick just one of the questions and explore if you want.

Merci, Bethany, for giving me some inspiration this morning....

Seven Things I Like

Juli Ryan, an ex-pat living in New Zealand, tagged me with a great meme that I thought would be perfect for today since lately all I do is tell you what I don't like.  Juli, who is very funny and smart and sarcastic, might have been trying to tell me something.  And I appreciate it.  Because a nudge into the positive column is a good thing for me.

Seven Things I Like

1.  I like mornings.  Okay, let me qualify that - I like mornings after everyone has left the house.  Having to look at those half-open eyes and disgruntled, yawning mouths, and pulling from them what they might want for breakfast because, yes, like an idiot, I do set myself up to be a short order cook, is hardly worthy of rainbows and birdsong.  The good thing about that is that their requests are pretty simple - cold cereal usually. 

But once they are all gone for the day?  I'm all aaaaahhhh, breakfast on the deck with a book?  Why not?  So there's the upside to being unemployed.  In the old days, mornings meant driving, driving and more driving.

2.  Which means it's a good thing I like to drive.  Were it not so expensive and horrible for the environment, I would drive around more.  I love driving fast but not recklessly, I love winding meandering drives through the countryside.  I like city driving.  Emphasis on driving.  Not sitting in traffic.  You can keep that.

The last week or two without access to a car really was a severe clipping of my wings.  Maybe I should consider becoming an OTR driver.  Would I have to have my own truck?  Must research this.

3.  I like old time radio shows.  The Jack Benny Show, The Great Gildersleeve, Fibber McGee and Molly, Suspense, The Shadow, Lux Radio Theater, X Minus One, The Further Adventures of Johnny Dollar, Gunsmoke.   I love how the past is captured in sound and story.  I get a kick out of the dystopian visions of the future in the sci fi shows, the silly, almost verbal slapstick of the comedies, the running jokes in Jack Benny, and Fibber McGee.  Can you guys tell if that influences my writing?

4.  I like order.  Clutter makes me pissy.  But not enough to really do much about it.  Right now, I can see four instances of Lisa-induced clutter, but will I eradicate them today?  Highly unlikely.  Because....

5.  I like having a house fully stocked of groceries. And today is payday so I must go do the gatherer thing.  When we hit the skids, I realized how reliant we'd become on take out and going out.  Now that we eat almost exclusively at home, running out of ingredients and staple goods combined with living in the middle of nowhere is a pain in the cook's butt.  Hence, I love the Buy One Get One Free things that so many of the grocery stores are now doing.  Except, I always have to question - want or need?  Need has become the filter by which all pennies are spent.  This is not whining.  It's a statement of fact and something I wish I'd been more capable of when we still had my income.

6.  I like music.  All kinds.   I've shared with you my like for the sappy stuff we listened to in the 70s and 80s, but I also like 20s jazz, big band, classical, rock, rap, hip hop, punk, new wave, metal, Argentinian tangos, alternative, old school country, pop, emo..... music is playing throughout most of my day.

Recently, I was nudged by this blogger to expand my listening even further.  He sent me a link to some to Opeth and I was, at first, a bit unsure.  Then I listened and listened some more.  And now while I clean and lift weights, which I do when no one is around, because can you imagine MathMan and the kids' faces? this is the soundtrack.  You haven't scrubbed out a bathtub until you've done it to Opeth.

Don't worry, Randal.  I'm not going to muscle in on your territory.

7.  I like getting fun mail.  Like this from Lola who ran a contest which I won!!!!!!

The whole shebang.

I haven't smelled this good in a long time.

Clearly, Lola was prescient in the choosing of this gift.

You remember the Blue Flying Monkey I used to Gaslight my kids? It went missing. Now I have the IT magnet.  Mwahahaha.

In addition to all this cool swag, Lola included a bag of confetti and a blower so we could have a little party while we opened our gifts.  And we did.  Thank you, Lola.  This made for great fun over the weekend.

You guys know how I hate tagging people so here's the deal:  Do this in comments.  Or on your own blog when your muse has gone missing as we all know muses do (the unreliable tarts).  You can say I tagged you.  You.  Yes, you.  And you. 

P.S.  Number 8 of the things I like?  You guys.  I mean it.

Bonus Friday OR

Come Next Wednesday, I'm Gonna Wish I Saved This*
(Originally posted on my Facebook. Yes, the two worlds do collide, overlap and swirl together in the most fantastic ways.)

Splotchy started this. Fran continued it. Something about guilt and long-standing tradition, something, something. It's been a bit of blogger thing. Yeah, we're nerds. We embrace it.

I've been tagged, and so by the laws vested in Fran by the State of Confusion and a little broom closet on the second floor of the Vatican, I have to answer all these questions HONESTLY.

As if.

At the end, I'm supposed to choose at least 12 people to be tagged. Plus I'm supposed to tag Fran. I don't know about you, but that seems like an awful lot of effort for something that will result in neither sexual gratification nor cold hard cash. It's not likely that I'll get through all the answers, much less honestly, so the chances that I'll bother tagging anyone are slim to none. If you have the misfortune to stumble upon this and feel the need to participate, please, by all means - feel free. Just leave me out of it.

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Well, what MathMan wants me to say is so inappropriate. The truth is a cheese stick. Not a euphemism.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
Front Street, Rising Sun, Indiana circa 1983

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Not well. But I'm aces at Rock Band. Just don't ask me to play an instrument.

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?
Nick Hornby

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
11ish. I was watching reruns of Britcoms because I am so lame.

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
In a heartbeat. No - quicker than that.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes. Wow, hadn't thought of that in AGES.

8. Which of your FB friends lives closest to you?
Family? Doug, Sophia, Nate. Non-Family? Kim Wilson and Gail Johnson

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
Sure, as long as both put away their weapons.

10. How do you feel about Mountain Dew?
On a scale of 1 - 10 with 1 being "I'd rather drink my own urine" and 10 being Wine? Mountain Dew is a solid 5.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Really hard? As in snot bubbles? About two weeks ago. (Stop looking at me, MathMan.)

12. Who took your profile picture?
I do not remember. My mom?

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Does a cat count? (If you aren't a FB friend, you don't know the fun you're missing. I post pussy pictures almost daily.)

14. Was yesterday better than today?
NO. Decidedly NO.

15. Can you live a day without TV?
Yes, but only a day. At the 24 hour plus a second mark, I would turn in to a raving lunatic. How could you tell? Trust me. You'd know.

16. Are you upset about anything?
Define upset.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Yes. But they'd be much better managed with a whip and a chair. And meds. For me.

18. Are you a bad influence?
I suspect there are some who might have thought that at one time. But no. I'm just not that influential, darlin'

19. Night out or night in?
Depends on the company.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
A pony-tail holder - you should have seen the pouting I did at the gym last night when I forgot one.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I don't remember.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
You have been poked by Doug Golden on Facebook. Quelle surprise.

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
I should say something positive right? Okay. It could be worse. Much worse, actually. Oh, hell, now I feel guilty for whining about things. I hope you're happy now.

24. Do you hate anyone?
Hate? No. Dislike? Oh yeah.

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Treasured items. Dates to remember. An email from an old friend. Ants. A half a stick of chewing gum, that thing you thought you lost, and my secret decoder ring.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Without a doubt. I am so clean, I squeak when I walk.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
A perfect ass. Not as in has a, but is a....

28. What song is stuck in your head?
Jason Mraz's I'm Yours. And I may have to blow my brains out as a result.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
The more money than you can ever spend or give away fairy.

30.Wanna have grandkids by the time your 50?
I really don't care if I'm ever a grandparent. That's up to my kids, not me.

31. What do you have to do tomorrow?
I have to go to the office, pick up MathMan after a basketball game, celebrate his birthday with the kids and maybe get the car back with its new clutch. See - this honesty thing is damn dull.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
I think too much. I was diagnosed with that affliction just today.

33. Do you smile a lot?
Indeed I do. Even when I probably shouldn't. But it beats assault charges.

34. What hour were you born?
Really? Do you think my mother would have remembered or told me that? Please. Now, ask me what time of day MY kids were born (she shot back smugly and with the kind of sanctimony that makes you want to smack her.)

That's it, kids. It's time for me to see what's not changed on some Britcom I've already seen twenty-seven times. Don't envy me, too much. Not everyone can handle this kind of excitement.

(Thanks, Fran. I owe you one.)

Here's the referred to profile pic because yes I do like to remember that I was once slim, cute, tanned and had it all before me.....

Oh what this chick didn't know she didn't know....

THIS This

Oh, this one is in the bag. It's a meme. An easy one. And I have Bob to thank for it. He is its creator, you know. Here goes with the rules, etc.:

1. Grab the nearest book - no matter what it is. Textbook, novel, pop-up book, building code study guide, whatever.
   
2. Turn to page 25.
3. Read the 10th word on that page, or the following if that one is blank.
4. Type that word into Google Image search.
5. Post the third image.
6. Tag 4 people and tell them.
7. Link back to this post.

So the book I grabbed was It Is Folly to Assume My Awesome Lies Dormant by The Mincing Mockingbird, a gift from CDP.. It's a hilarious book with fabulous paintings of birds, each with a caption or saying that leaves me wishing I could be that clever.

So the tenth word on the twenty-fifth page? THIS. This? THIS. Okey dokey. I google image searched it and in a circular little event that nearly made me snore with excitement, I found the following as the third picture in the vast collection of bore.........


"Oh, what the hell?" I say aloud, rousing MathMan from his Facebook-induced lethargy. He shoots me a look of disdain (he can talk to me anytime, but he can only chat with his friends from grade school between the hours of 8pm and 11pm, apparently).

I blink slowly at him because he loves when I do that and then go back to this post, sucking my teeth and wondering what I can do to salvage it. I reach for the book once more and am comforted to know that the actual page I was instructed by the evil taskmaster Bob to select actually contains one of my favorite little ditties in the whole book...

"One more filthy sea chanty out of you and this trip is over."

I decide to halve the required number of ten and google image search the word chanty. Oh bother. I'd forgotten that I had my safe search off and was treated to the squishy bared buttocks of some young lovely named Chanty.

I give up.

Tags? If your blogger name ends with an r or a silent e, you are tagged. I would say if your name is Chanty, you are tagged, but then you'll want to show us your bottom and all hell will likely break loose, the police will be called, you'll stain your new white linen dress when you're getting fingerprinted, someone will spill a Diet Coke in the backseat of the cab as you come home from the police station, you'll drop your keys down a storm drain as you fumble around trying to get into your apartment, there will be a clap of thunder and a dramatic flash of lightening and then you'll wake up from the bad dream that is this paragraph and wonder why you are bare-assed on this blog and not on one where you might get seen by someone who can get you a job in the porn industry.

So see? We'll stick with this. THIS.

Merci, La Belette Rouge

A couple of weeks ago, La Belette Rouge bestowed upon me the honor of being a proud bookworm. Besides being far superior to being recognized as the hungry tapeworm I normally am, this honor is a kick to me because there was a time when I actually was a bookworm. Lately, though, the only time I can be seen with a book in my hand is when I least want anyone to see me. Let's just say that even though I close the door, some cat or other will force its way through to investigate, looking at me reproachfully before swishing its tail in disgust and leaving in haste. For my part, I remind them that the door was shut for a reason.

That's usually when I notice that my feet have gone numb from sitting on the throne too long. The lengths I will take for a moment alone in quiet.

So the point of this bookworm honor is to do the following: pass it on to five other bloggers, and tell them to open the nearest book to page 46. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences.

So here's the thing. I'm going to grab the book nearest me and write the fifth sentence plus a couple more from page 46. The book is Pete Hamill's Forever.

There were no signs of obvious grief; no tears, no sniffles, no choking sounds. He took two more rush mats from the old woman and floated them down over Rebecca Carson's body. With spade, he began to cover her. He threw down seven loads of black earth and then handed the shovel to the boy. "Seven," he said. "Only seven." The soaked dirt was very heavy, and Robert didn't want to do this, but his mother was already covered, and so he added earth to earth.

A friend had recommended a while ago that I read the Pete Hamill novels and I'm glad that I'm finally getting around to it. Somehow it seems fitting that I would begin reading Hamill with this particular novel. When you open it up to Chapter One, you find this passage:

And what a people loves it will defend. We took their temples from them and forbade them, for many years, to worship their strange idols. They gathered in secret, deep in the dripping glens, Chanting their prayers before a lichened rock.
- John Hewitt, "The Colony," 1950

I didn't know anything about Irish poet John Hewitt who wrote The Colony, but John Hewitt is the name of my paternal great-grandfather. I like the symmetry of that.

This honor has made the rounds. I am feeling lazy and a bit emotionally wrung out. The last couple of days, my mothering skills have been called upon in complicated ways that stretched my patience and tempted me to abdicate the role altogether, so let's do this...if you have not received this award and you are sitting within three feet of a book, consider yourself tagged.

Thank you, Belette, for thinking of me when you were handing out this tres sexy honor. Je t'aime comme une soeur.

With Singular Focus or a Lack Thereof...

I do believe that the combination of amphetamine and coffee is making me more frantic and manic than usual. I wish I were kidding you. Currently, I am multitasking at unhealthy levels. Even for me.

I'm uploading pictures to flickr. Reading and commenting on blogs, reading work emails and responding to them, working on this post, listening to music, having short online chats with friends, updating contacts in my email, going through my sitemeter to see who is visiting, updating Facebook, twittering (tweeting?), fretting about the upcoming busy weekend, and trying to figure out how to edit a video using Picassa so I can upload it to youtube and bore you to death with a snippet of life from Golden Manor.

Plus my hands feel dry and I need to dig out the lotion from my purse, but if I stop typing now and do that, I'll end up doing six other things before I get back to this post. Now I just paused to read a text message on my phone and before I got back to this post, I checked my gmail and deleted a couple of things without reading them, took a drink of water and thought for a second about opening my flickr tab because pictures have uploaded and I need to tag them and finish the process.

Please, oh please, tell me that you are just as scattered.

I remember when I was a kid and my siblings and I would be sprawled out over our M&M colored beanbags watching The Price Is Right or The Flintstones and my mother would say something to us through the passthrough to the kitchen. Not one of the three of us would respond and she would raise her voice and would finish by bellowing at us that we couldn't do anything when the television was on. Her point was that our focused attention was a bad thing. We were not so easily distracted.

I do believe I have said the same thing to The Spawn. Now I'm thinking that the ability to do just one thing and to focus on it completely is a skill I need to relearn. Seriously.

So, on to the real purpose of this post. I have been asked to dig through my obsessively sorted and categorized photo files because susan has tagged me with the photo meme. I cannot deny susan who thinks possibly naughty things when she sees the milk mustache advertisements, so here goes. Business first, though.

The Rules:

1. Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures.
2. Pick the 4th picture in that folder.
3. Explain the picture.
4. Tag 4 people to do the same.


So here is the picture in my 4th folder. My folders go like this: Baseball, Birds, Blogging Pix, Bloomington, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

That is MathMan in 1990 during one of our trips to Indiana. We'd already graduated from Indiana University, where we met and married. When we visited my family in southeastern Indiana, we would typically swing through Bloomington. On this particular trip, we went through the campus and took a bunch of pictures.

MathMan is standing in front of the old arcade at the corner of Kirkwood and Indiana. What was it called? Spaceport or something like that? Anyway, look at him, so young! So hairy! Dang, he was such a hottie back then. (Still is.) No wonder I propositioned him the second time I met him........

Oh, and about that shirt - it was a gift from my parents who had just returned from a cruise. Looking back over the years of grief I have given MathMan, the message on that shirt seems a bit cruel. I think I'd better have a word with my mother about that........of course, she'll have to turn off the television and put down her crossword puzzle so I can speak to her.

Consider yourself tagged, my happy little amphetamines:

Kulkuri
Nan
The Earth Bound Misfit
SaoirseDaily2

Coffey, Pee or Me

Music Maven and R.E.M.'s best fan Beth Coffey has tickled me with the random six things tag. Tags come with rules, you know, so I shall post them below and then proceed to break them. Beth knows this about me and still she took this huge risk. For dismissing the rules with such a cavalier attitude, I worry that when Beth and I do finally manage to get together for many drinks, karmic retribution will come to me in when I duck into the toilet, do my business and find, too late, that there is no toilet paper.

That doesn't scare me. I've had to drip dry before, but only when I've had to pee in some field or along the side of a road or in my roommate's bottom drawer during one highly intoxicated episode.......but enough about my bathroom habits.

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The Rules
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

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Six random things...
1. I'm convinced that The Actor, if he should ever follow his musical talents, should play bass and euphonium for a band called Oedipus Wrecks.

2. This morning, as we rode silently, listening to Akon na na na na, I realized that The Actor, Cupcake and I were all being uncharacteristically quiet and calm on our ride to school. "Raise your hand if you're glad it's Wednesday," I said. All three of us raised our hands. The Actor didn't even open his eyes to do it. "Raise your hand if you wish it were Friday," I added. All of our hands shot up in the air. Then we went back to sleepy silence.

3. I almost always sleep in the fetal position on my right side.

4. I would love to live in an old house, but I'm pretty spoiled by the conveniences of this newish house.

5. I was going to convert to Judaism, but the rabbi was difficult about it and wouldn't let me take the fifteen week crash course so I decided screw it. Yes, I was that committed to the religion.

6. When MathMan's mother died suddenly and unexpectedly exactly sixteen years ago tonight, I had to call him at work and tell him. That remains the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. MathMan - if I could have one magical power, it would be the ability to give you and our kids more time with your parents, who died entirely too young.

So there it is - my six things. Now I have to tag six people.

BAC at Yikes
Bubs at Sprawling Ramshackle Compound
TheMom at the Attentive Aphorist
Roger Bell at Many Things
Liberality
Kulkuri at Yooper in Crackerland

I know these tags and memes get run into the ground, but if you don't do it, I'm going to come pee in your bottom drawer, so I suggest you seriously consider following through. Thank you.

P.S. I just noticed that for the first time in a long time, I actually followed the rules of the meme. I wonder what my karmic reward will be? Maybe it's best not to wonder.....